Create What Matters Most

Learn From Failure; Create Success!

2012-02-08T10:18:00.000-08:00

Great spring-like weather here on the southern tip of Vancouver Island, BC. Invigorating sunrises and spectacular sunsets, with the full moon rising at the same time. It's not always like this, here, so I'm happy to appreciate it when it is.

One of the things that surprises many people when they talk to me about coaching, is that I don't just have a series of conversations with them about their "issues."

Instead, I try to help them determine what they want to create — and then develop and master the skills and structure to bring those things into being.

Doing so requires practice. Oh, yeah!

Practice may not may you perfect, but it is a necessary ingredient of real change and creating lasting results.

Many people don't like to hear that, at first. But as they begin to see/grasp the connection between their practice and their results, they start to get it. Practice is necessary, and, when it leads to results, much fun!

But what about when you practice and it doesn't lead to results?

That's what this issue addresses — how to do hard things, fail and still learn from your setbacks. This is perhaps the real key to real and lasting success.
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Learning From Setbacks; Creating Success
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“You may have a fresh start any moment you choose,
for this thing that we call failure is not the falling down,
but the staying down."
- Mary Pickford, Actress

There is a critical difference between the act of failing at something, and conclusions that you draw about that act, or yourself.

Those who stay down in the face of setback or failure often judge that they failed. They also judge that failure is bad, and to risk it again is foolish.

Moreover, many generalize from specific failures to conclusions such as "I AM a failure," and "I will ALWAYS fail". Therefore, they assume there is no point in getting up.

But they are wrong. There is always a point in getting up.

Failure Is Key To Creating Success
Failures, setbacks and mishaps do not have to define us. Nor do they, by themselves, have to determine our experience.

"Experience," said Aldous Huxley, "is not what happens to us. It is what we do with what happens to us."

If you learn from your mistakes, failing can be the quickest route to success.

Both old and new wisdom recommend numerous small, instructive failures. Failing, making corrections and trying again - i.e. trial and error - is one of the most powerful ways we learn, in art, sport, work, business, and life.

"Would you like me to give you a formula for... success?" wrote Thomas J. Watson, Founder of IBMI. "It's quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You're thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't at all... you can be discouraged by failure — or you can learn from it. So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because, remember that's where you'll find success. On the far side."

The ability to learn from mistakes and failures helps us transcend the “academic fallacy” that insight, understanding, is enough. Insight is great, but by itself often leads to no action, no mistakes, and no deep and practical learning.

“The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes,” advisedan early writing teacher, who'd recognized my tendency to glorify insight, “the sooner you will learn to write.”

How To Learn From Mistakes
Between the failing, the correction and the trying again, come two important parts of the learning process: story shifting and choice.

When they fail, many people quickly choose an external story.

They tell themselves that failing wasn't their fault. Others or circumstances were to blame. “There's nothing I can do to change it,” they lament. So, stuck with their failing, they don't choose to try again. They stay down.

To learn how to cope with adversity and increase your emotional mastery, let go of the almost-automatic tendency to blame circumstances and other people. Instead, ask yourself these questions.

Do I want to change? To learn?

Do I want to be resilient, able to bounce back quickly from setbacks? And get up easily when I fall?

Am I willing to try new ways of explaining what happens to me? New stories?

If you answered "yes" to these questions, the next step is to formally choose to create and enjoy those qualities.

Say to yourself, "I choose to . . ." and then fill in the blank with the qualities you want.

Then notice how making those choices makes you feel. Most people report that they feel empowered, enthusiastic and hopeful. How about you?

If you read the last section and didn't make the choices, I suggest you re-read it and do the exercise. It could make a big difference in how you approach the rest of this article - and in how you deal with difficulties and setbacks in general.

Go on; try it. It won't hurt. And it could help!

Choose A Story That Supports Your Vision
Change external, blaming stories to internal, ownership stories, such as, “Perhaps I failed because I didn't prepare well enough,” or “Maybe I need more practice at this.”

Owning your choices, actions and results helps you to take power away from circumstances, and put it into your own hands. When you choose, you have more control. You can choose to try again, and again… until you succeed!

Owning your choices is key to creating success. Indeed, the philosopher Paul Tillich said, “Only at the moment of decision do we become fully human.”

But owing and making good choices can be difficult to do on your own, at least initially. That's why so many people in all walks of life seek the assistance of coaches.

People come to me not for answers, but for the skills and structure with which to create their own answers. I help my coaching clients identify stories that get in their way, and shift to stories that support them and their desired results.

Changing your stories is key because it leads to more effective action. Small choices and actions lead to small results, to patterns of success and to the skill and confidence to stretch for larger successes.

Deliberate Practice: Create and Adjust, Create and Adjust…
New research reported in the Harvard Business Report (HBR) shows that outstanding performance is the product of years of deliberate practice and coaching, not of any innate talent or skill.

As well as changing their stories, I also help people understand, practice, master and apply a results-driven, skill-based structure - an organizing framework - that makes it easier for them to learn from experience and mistakes. Working within this organizing framework, it is much easier to keep trying until they get it right.

I help them to create and adjust, create and adjust….

By taking action, learning from less-than-perfect results and making adjustments to actions, you can increase your skill level and your ability to craft results you want.

But, says K. Anders Ericsson, the author of the HBR article, “Not all practice makes perfect. You need a particular kind of practice - deliberate practice - to develop expertise.”

Deliberate practice involves sustained, specific attempts to do something that you can't, yet, do well. And lots of it - a minimum of 10,000 hours if you want to become expert in something. Less if you just want be good at if for daily life.

And it's not practicing what you already know how to do. Only by working at what you can't do, yet, can you increase your skill and expertise, and learn to do it.

Many people find that outside assistance from coaching makes it easier for them to deliberately practice long enough to get good at their desired skills and abilities.

Skill In Creating Increases Your Chances of Success
Creating is a skill that most of have, but don't know how to apply. It's intuitive, not a conscious. Therefore, it's difficult to apply to new situations and new results.

But you can learn to consciously create what matters.

Driven by vision, grounded in reality and focused on actions that embrace where you are now, and move you toward where you want to be, the creating framework can greatly increase your chances of success, even in challenging times and circumstances.

If you haven't yet been able to create the results (the life, work, business, book, art career, relationships, etc…) that you truly want, it gets tougher each day. These days, we all need all the help we can get!

That's why people reach out to teachers and results-focused coaches such as me.

In his HRB article, Ericsson quotes the world-class violin teacher, Ivan Galamian, who says, "If we analyze the development of the well-know artists, we see that in almost every case the success of their entire career was dependent on the quality of their practicing. In practically every case, the practicing was supervised either by the teacher or an assistant to the teacher."

By helping people master the skills and structure of creating, I help them discover and draw out the best in themselves — and apply it to what matters, in spite of the circumstances and adversity they face!

I help them bounce back from setbacks, practice deliberately,learn from experience and develop generic competence. Increasing their capacity to create desired results gives them confidence to recognize and stretch for what truly matters.

Through the practice of creating small and medium-sized results, they become conscious of what matters to them, and what they truly want to create.

With practice, vision becomes clearer. Purpose emerges. Energy grows. Stories shift. Competence and confidence increase

So creating, coupled, with the resilience to accept failure, bounce back quickly from setbacks and try, try again, makes it easier to create what matters - with whatever you have to start with.

Not a bad set of skills to have, eh?
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• For more on the notion of deliberate practice and the 10,000 hours research, see:

"10,000 Hours to Success! Harness The Power of Passion, Persistence, and Practice,"
http://bruceelkin.hubpages.com/hub/10-000-Hours--The-Awesome-Power-of-Practice
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COACHING INFO PACKAGE AND F.REE COACHING CHAT
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How are you doing with your New Year's Resolutions and other goals?

Research shows that those who avail themselves of supportive structure and feedback create results more efficiently and effectively than those who don't!

Coaching can help you organize and align your visions, reality and actions, generate the energy to persist and persevere, and help you turn your visions into reality!

I have space for 2 clients in Feb/March. And 3 spaces for March/April.

If you'd like more info, send me an e-mail with "Coaching Package" as subject.
I'll send you my fr.ee 7-page info package. No obligation! No pressure!

And feel free to request a f.ree 45-minute chat to see if my coaching is right for you and your needs and desires. More info in the Coaching Package.

Here's what another happy client had to say about working with me:

"Your life coaching has had a profound impact on my life, both personal and professional. You have a very special way of challenging clients in a firm but gentle way to look above the smog to see the top of the mountain."
— Les Brost, Pres., Southernstar Communications, Edmonton, AB

And you?
What's your dream? What do you want to create?
If not now, when?
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VIDEO:
Fleetwood Mac: Which album was their break-out record?
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This weeks' video features author Malcolm Gladwell talking about deliberate practice, the 10,000 hour rule and how it takes bands such as Fleetwood Mac and The Beatles many years and much practice to become "overnight sensations."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPCOMtJL6vA&feature=player_embedded

Only 5 minutes but very illuminating and entertaining. Do check it out!
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QUOTABLE QUOTES
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"No mistake or failure is as bad as to stop and not try again."
– John Wanamaker, Entrepreneur

" Practice puts brains in your muscles."
– Sam Snead, Golf Champion

"Knowledge is just a rumour until it gets into your muscles."
– African Proverb

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
– Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, Author

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit."
– Aristotle

"Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourself a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles."
– Helen Keller
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FURTHER READING: SIMPLICITY, RESILIENCE & SUCCESS
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You can access my book:
• Simplicity and Success: Creating the Life You Long For!

and my ebooks:
• THRIVE! Creating What Matters in Challenging Times & Beyond!
• Emotional Mastery: Manage Your Moods & Create What Matters!
• The ABCs of Emotional Mastery: A Workbook
• Creating Sustainable Success: Five Problems with Problem Solving -
And What We Can Learn From Them About
Creating Rich Yet Simple, Healthy, and Sustainable Lives!

at: http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity.html

Click on the covers for more info for each book.
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Questions? Or comments? Feel free to email me.

Cheers!
Bruce
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Copyright (c) 2011 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.
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REVIEW OF THRIVE! & MY COACHING APPROACH

2012-01-10T14:16:00.000-08:00

Writer Alisa Gordaneer wrote a great review of my ebook THRIVE! Creating What Matters In Challenging Times & Beyond! in the Victoria-based Boulevard Magazine.

Her review, from a column titled "State of the Arts" shows how THRIVE! and my coaching approach appeals to creatives such as writers, artists, musicians, etc… who want to organize their lives so they support their art and passion.

Check out the short article at http://bit.ly/xSHwkN

The approach described in THRIVE! is not only for artistic creators. It applies and appeals to those who want to create small or home businesses, new careers, better relationships, significant travel … almost anything that matters.

There's a link to a free download of a PDF copy of THRIVE! at the end of the article.

You can also download it here.

2012-01-09T13:49:00.000-08:00

This Week's Focus:
"Turn Resolutions Into Results!"

Seven Practices for Creating What Matters Most In Life & Work

Those who do not create the future they want
must endure the future they get.
- Draper L. Kaufman, Jr.

"Quitting smoking is easy! quipped my friend," Ken. "I’ve done it hundreds of times."

Ken saw resolutions as a fun New Year’s ritual but didn’t expect them to produce results. I do. So do most people I work and talk with.

Often, though, something upsets our plans. We ignore our resolve and drift into comfortable but ineffective habits. Instead of reaping the results, rewards and good feelings we desire, we feel frustrated, guilty, and even depressed.

This year, why not learn to craft your resolutions so they turn into real and lasting results. The following practices consistently help my coaching clients turn dreams and aspirations into successful results.

1. Create clear, compelling visions of the results you want to create.
Most people’s resolutions focus on focus on processes - actions - not results.

Lose weight. Quit smoking. Write every day. …

Notice the focus is on the verb (process) not the thing (result). Lose. Quit. Write.

Instead of motivate you, these resolutions can become demands, not desires. Imperatives we impose on ourselves, and, often, rebel against. Actions by themselves aren’t very motivating. They imply work, and that can put us off.

So, instead of action-focused resolutions, put your focus on results you truly want to create.

“Lose weight,” becomes, “A fit, well-toned body."

Quit smoking, becomes, "A non-smoker with healthy lungs."

Write every day, becomes, "A 2500-word article."

It’s fine to start with concepts such as success, a great relationship, or a better business. But power comes from focusing concepts into clear visions.

Get specific about what you want. Set up success criteria! Which is more compelling? “A new car," or, "A candy-apple red, 2012 Fiat 500 with a black top, beige leather seats, and a six-speaker Alpine CD system"?

Vision does not have to be realistic. Realistic goals will bridge the gap between vision and reality. So, vision is best when it describes what you truly want to create.

Let your aspirations soar. Grounding vision in reality is the next step.

2. Assess Current Reality Accurately and Objectively
Vision not rooted in reality is often just wishful thinking. Motivation quickly fades.

To take effective action and consistently create results, you must know both your destination and your starting point.

But many of us misrepresent reality. Instead of describing it, we judge it. We might say, "My life sucks!" when facing a couple of problems. Or, "My life is great," when it isn’t.

Neither is effective. Distorting reality creates a shaky foundation for action. The key is to be objective.

Instead of "Everything is screwed up," say, "I’m behind at work, but my health is good, and I’m putting $100 a month into savings."

Describe reality, don’t judge it! That'll give you a solid foundation for action.

3. Hold Vision and Reality Together to Set Up Creative Tension
Simultaneously holding vision and reality in mind sets up a gap out of which a useful creative tension emerges.

Creative tension generates energy to move from where you are to where you want to be — even when motivation fades, and you don't feel like it!

Imagine a rubber band stretched between Vision and Current Reality. The tension in the rubber band wants to resolve. If hold to your vision (choose it!) and change reality you greatly increase your chances of creating your result.

Creative tension also sets up a container for creating — an organizing framework in which to experiment, explore, learn from mistakes, and gradually shape the results you want.

4. Take small steps. Create and adjust…
Many of us are closet perfectionists. We demand our first steps be perfect. So, either we give up if we falter, or the fear of failing prevents us from taking action.

Start with small, easy steps. See each step as an experiment that teaches you what to do next. If you don’t like a result, adjust your action. If you make a wrong decision, make another. When you’re creating, failure is simply feedback.

If you’re not sure where to start, work backward from vision to to first steps by asking, “Can I do this today?” If you can’t do it, ask, “What must I do first? Repeat.

Identifying first steps overcomes fear and inertia. Taking several creates a feeling of competence that increases confidence, builds momentum, and helps you stretch for larger steps.

5. Build Momentum
Momentum generates follow-through energy. It keeps you going in the face of adversity.

Indeed, adversity can be a creative moment.
When something does not go as you would like it to:

1. Notice what is happening and what you say about it, others and yourself.
2. Is what you’re saying consistent with what you really want? Is it true? Is it accurate and objective? If it isn’t, change how you describe it to make it so.
3. Ask yourself, “What do I want?” Envision a picture of your desired result, fully complete.
4. Choose your result. Say, "I choose…" and fill in the blank with the result.
5. Move on. Take whatever next step occurs to you.

It doesn’t really matter what you do. Like rocking a car backward to generate momentum to push it out of ditch, use this technique to get unstuck and moving forward.

It shifts your focus from problem solving to creating. It flips your mood from negative to energetic. Most important, it keeps you moving and generates energy more energy for action.

6. Know When You Reach Your Goal
Don't just say, “I want to be successful.” Without guidelines for success, you are like a dog chasing its tail.

Success criteria help you know when you’ve completed your result. This is why good visions are specific.

Assess your result against the specifics to see if it matches your vision. If it doesn’t, keep working at it; if it does, you’re done.

The energy of completion can be applied to new results. So, finish fully, and celebrate results. Then, start on your next result.

7. Practice, Practice, Practice!
Few of us are born with the skills and talent to achieve all our visions. But we are learners.

We can try, correct mistakes, and practice until the new becomes natural. Practice may not make us perfect, but it does make us better — and the road to success always runs through better.

Recent research shows that, along with passion and perseverance, practice is the key to lasting success.

Dreams To Reality
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it," said Goethe. "Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

So why not be bold this year? Dream big. Accept reality as-it-is. And use these practices to turn your resolutions into real and lasting results.
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COACHING INFO PACKAGE AND F.REE COACHING CHAT
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This is a great time of year to comitt to turning your desires into reality. And coaching can help you organize your visions, reality and actions — and help you turn those visions into reality!

I have space for 2 clients inJan/Feb. And 3 spaces for Feb/March. So best to jump in now, and get creating!

If you'd like more info, send an e-mail with "Coaching Package" as subject.
I'll send you my fr.ee 7-page info package. No obligation! No pressure!

Here's what another happy client had to say about working with me:

"I've tried (or at least read about) a lot of different coaching approaches. But, once I got the hang of it, your gentle but firmly structured approach helped create results I hadn't let myself beleive were possible. It's an amazing process. Thanks for making me practice!."
– L. B. D. Janower, Victoria, BC

And you? What's your dream? What do you want to create? If not now, when?
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VIDEOS: "ME" and The Key To My Work
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This weeks' videos feature me in conversation with Christopher Bower, creator of Conversation Works, and What's Gone Well Today?

The first focuses on what makes my approach so unique. And the second speaks specifically to the challenging of creating a simple yet rich and successful life.

I hope you enjoy them.

The Key to My Work
http://www.youtube.com/conversationworks#p/u/15/eUApkzRu2bQ

It's Not Easy Being Simple
http://www.youtube.com/conversationworks#p/u/16/fU4Z7ILblPY
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QUOTABLE QUOTES
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I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires.
- Kahlil Gibran, 1883 - 1931

"The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision."
-- Helen Keller

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.
- Napoleon Hill, 1883 - 1970

"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."
-- Audre Lorde

"Begin with a vision and hold it fast
Reality passes but great dreams last
In time, wit and work will open the doors
To give form and body to that dream of yours
Begin with a vision and follow it through
For that is the way great tomorrows come true."
-- Helen Lowrie Marshall
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My Boooks and Ebooks
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For more on the topic of Creating What Matters, and to get my free ebook THRIVE! check out my books and ebooks at:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/

Grit #3: The Best Predictor of Success and Achieivement!

2011-12-21T11:06:00.000-08:00

Build Your Grit: It's The Best Predictor of Success!"

"I'm convinced that about half of what separates the successful … from the non-successful … is pure perseverance."
- Steve Jobs

A very happy Winter/Summer solstice to you all. And I wish peace and many blessings — whatever event/holiday you celebrate. I was brought up in the Christmas story, so please accept my wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Peacefu, Joyousl New Year!

I know most of you are about to switch into celebratory mode, but I wanted to hit on the topic of "grit" — the passion, practice, and perseverance needed to create great results!

One, because I felt it would be a good seed to plant before you started thinking about New Year's resolutions in a couple of weeks.

Two, because a great new TEDx talk by the developer of the Grit Scale, Angela Duckworth has just come out.

Finally, because I just came across an amazing example of a young woman demonstrating great grit, and a short video about her challenges, gritty ways of overcoming then and some remarkable successes.

If you didn't read the original pieces on "grit" and want to, you can find them on mythis blog. Just scroll down to the Aug 21 and September 13th postings.

But, if you don't feel like reading right now, do watch these two amazing videos Getting, grasping, seeing and practice the basics of grit could help you change your life and create what matters most to you.

In the first, Angela describes what "grit" is, how she came to measure it and why it is the most accurate predictor of long-term and high-level success we currently have.

Angela Duckworth on “Grit”

In the second, Amy describes suffering a debilitating disease, falling into depression and then grittily pulling herself out of it, standing up for herself and her dreams and pursuing them with passion, much practice and perseverance and a great deal of great. Heart-warming!

Amy Purdy - Living Beyond Limits

Here's what a Simply Success newsletter reader said about these two videos when viewed together:

"Those are two great (well perhaps beyond great.....oh how I have come to despise the way we use the word awesome) videos. She and so many others are so inspiring in the ways they live their lives that it inspires me to try and make the best out of the remaining life I have. I must learn to see that my advancing age and comfortable complacency would be best viewed as just one of those borders "to be pushed off from" as Amy so eloquently said. Great vids!"
– Dr. Chuck, Bahia de Bandera, Mexico

Enjoy!
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COACHING INFO PACKAGE AND F.REE COACHING CHAT
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It's almost New Year's and time for resolutions.

This year, would you like to choose to create meaningful results — results that truly matter to you!

And develop a powerful and gritty organizing framework, and set of "creating" skills that greatly increase your chances of sticking with your resolve and following through to the completion of your results?

And experience the wonderful feelings from completing the great changes in your life, work, relationship that doing so will bring?

If so, send an e-mail with "Coaching Results Package" in the subject.
I'll send you my fr.ee 7-page info package. No obligation! No pressure!

NOTE: Please flag your message as "highest priority" or "most Important". I do this from the "MESSAGE" menu and "Priority" in my email program.

I'll be taking time off between Dec 22 and Jan 3, but will be checking my email for your requests.
The rest, I'll be mass deleting. So make sure to flag your request "priority!" Thanks!

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Can Coaching Really Help?

Here's testimonial from a satisfied coaching client:

"When I started with Bruce, I was scattered, and disorganized. I had no clear focus, but felt I wanted to create something good. His structured but flexible way of helping me develop the framework and skills of creating was really great. And then he helped me apply them to creating a new job for myself, my dream apartment and a very wonderful relationship. I'm so happy that Bruce is my coach!"
– A. F. Swennson, Seattle, WA

And you? What's your dream? What do you want to create? Do you have the grit?
If not now, when?
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QUOTABLE QUOTES
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“It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own.”
— Jessamyn West

“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.”
– George Sheehan

“It takes a little courage, and a little self -- control. And some grim determination, If you want to reach the goal. It takes a deal of striving, and a firm and stern-set chin. No matter what the battle, If you really want to win. There's no easy path to glory, There's no road to fame. Life, however we may view it, Is no simple parlor game; But it's prizes call for fighting, For endurance and for grit; For a rugged disposition and don't know when to quit.”
– Jessamyn West

“Persistence is the twin sister of excellence. One is a matter of quality; the other, a matter of time.”
– Anthony J. D'Angelo

“A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.”
– Elbert Hubbard
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Enjoy the videos.

Think big about your resolutions, or as the old saying goes, "Set no small goals, for they lack the power to stir our souls." I hope the vids stir our soul a little.

So have a wonderful holiday season.
Think about trying out coaching in the New Year, and upping your chances of creating the best year ever!

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Bruce
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Copyright (c) 2011 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.
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Visioning: Gimmick? Or A Great Tool?

2011-11-29T10:42:00.000-08:00

This Weeks Topic: VISION: IS IT A TOOL? OR A GIMMICK?

"Hold with faith and purpose the vision of yourself in the better environment, but act upon your present environment with all your heart, and with all your strength, and with all your mind."
- Wallace Wattles

Happy Belated Thanksgiving to all my US readers. I hope you had a wonderful weekend! And thanks to all the rest of you for being here. I appreciate it!

Recently, I had occasion to take part in two fairly high-level discussions. One with other coaches. The other with business consultants.

The topic in both cases was "visioning."

Simplisitic Definitions
The consensus was that success was a matter of 1) visioning an outcome, and 2) taking action to make it happen. In both groups, there was a great deal of excitement, as if they'd just discovered a long-lost secret.

But, in both cases, their notion of visioning was very general. It involved coming up with concepts such as "success," "happiness," and "change" — and then giving general examples "the best consultant in the country," "a life filled with joy" or "increasing our revenues."

What Are Your Success Critiera?
When I asked how they would know when they had achieved their vision, they said they'd "feel" successful, or happy, or changed. The consultants were a bit more specific. They'd set targets such as "a 15% increase in sales."

I allowed that "feeling" successful could well be one criteria for success, as could "a 15% increase," but suggested that other criteria would make the vision stronger, and more effective.

An effective vision, I suggested, requires that you specify clear and compelling success criteria — standards that help you measure progress and recognize the result when completed.

Just because you feel like you're the "best consultant in the country", I asserted, "doesn't make it true." But if you set, focus on and meet a series of specific standards, you might well achieve the success you envision.

"Are You Nuts?"
A few people thought my comments were interesting. Some thought they were ridiculous and one thought I was "anal; hung up on measurement."

Sadly, more than a few agreed. No one seemed to want to craft a specific vision with clear standards for realization. The best either group could come up with was "a vision statement" — an inspiring but very general outline of results they wanted to achieve.

Good start, I allowed, but not sufficient for creating real and lasting success!

I pointed out that that concepts such as "best in our business," "most effective systems" and "flexibility" or "ability to change" were great places to start, but were so general they could describe almost any business or coach.

To differentiate their version of success from other people's, I suggested, they'd have to get specific, and detail their success criteria.

I gave examples such as, "#1 in sales amongst all our competitors," "gross sales of $X, with a profit of Y%," or "A coaching practice consistently carrying 20-30 clients, and making $x," or "90% of my clients rate my coaching as excellent or very good."

Again, much head shaking and muttering. I'm sure I heard the word "anal" again.

Pushing The Envelope
So, reluctantly, I pressed on. I further suggested that, unless you ground vision in reality, and accurately, objectively describe the current state of your result — relative to your success criteria — it's very difficult to take appropriate action, or measure progress toward your desired result.

Now, they really turned on me.

"Your are way too hung up on measurement and objectivity," said a woman who'd been promoting "vision boards."

"Visioning," she said, "works on another, holistic dimension of thought. It guides your actions intuitively, even when you're not conscious of it. Vision is all about intuition and attraction!"

That may be partly true, I allowed.

But is intuition enough to create a successful business or the life you truly want? Is it enough to guide your action in all sorts of situations, and under all kinds of conditions?

Or does your approach rely on taking action only when you feel like it?

"Why would you take action if you didn't feel like it?" asked the vision board woman.

Feelings Are NOT A Sufficient Standard Of Measurement
"Creators take action, even when they don't feel like it," I said, "because they want to create a result that is more important to them than their temporary feelings."

Now I'd done it.

"Feelings, and expressing them," she almost shouted, "are what creativity and visioning are all about!"

"No," I said," hooked now, and knowing I should bow out with grace but wanting to try one more time, "visioning is all about the act of creating — about focusing on what matters and taking action to bring into being the result you want to create, with whatever you have to work with.

"Feelings are important," I agreed, "but they are not enough to consistently move you from where you are to where you would love to be."

The Act of Creating Involves Vision, Current Reality and Action
"To effectively and efficiently create desired results," I said, "you must clearly see AND feel your result as if you had already created it. Your vision must be compelling, passionate, but it must also be clear and detailed enough that you would recognize it if you create it.

"And you also have to clearly know where you are, where you're starting from and what you have to work with — and what you lack.

"And you must start where you are, and take action that honours your current reality AND supports your vision.

"And do so in a way that allows you to learn from mistakes, make adjustments and carry on consistently in the face of set-backs and adversity.

"That's what creating is," I said. "And visioning" is only one, albeit important, aspect of that approach."

So, what happened?

Well, they didn't lynch me, but they certainly won't be asking me back to their discussion groups. A few people did give me their card and asked to be put on this mailing list.

What do you think?
--------–
If you want to go deeper into the place of vision in the creating process, check out this earlier article of mine. "Vision As A Success Tool" at
http://bruceelkin.hubpages.com/hub/VISION-AS-A-CREATIVE-FORCE
----------------------------

UPDATE ON MY NEW E-BOOK — THRIVE!
———————————————————————————
The "fr.ee" deal on THRIVE is now over. In order for Smashwords to push it to the ereader sites such as Kindle, Kobo, the iStore, etc… I had to put a price on it.

It's just $4.95 and you download to your computer, tablet, e-reader and even some phones. If you're interested, check it out at:

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/90569

THRIVE is still fr.ee on my website. For more info and testimonials, please go to:
www.bruceelkin.com/thrive-e-book.html
And, then, because you don't want to sign up for my newsletter again, email me and I'll give you the URL at which you can download a PDF copy for yourself!

Nearly 600 folks have downloaded a copy. Here's what one reader said:

"Bruce has created a very informative, easy-to-read ebook by taking care of all the little details: strong organization, clear, approachable style, use of great examples, and -thankfully- large font size!

"The content is stuff they don't teach in schools, yet so useful in everyday life. It is also refreshingly different from the usual "motivational" book formula.

"Highly recommended!"
— Chris Ralston, Duncan, BC Canada

Thank you, Chris!

If you read THRIVE! and liked it, how about posting a short review on my Smashwords page: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/90569

It'd help me a lot, and I'd be very grateful. Thanks!
---------------------------------–

THIS WEEK'S VIDEOS:
———————————————————————————
The consultant in the first vid does a good job of outlining what a vision is and what it does.
In his talk, he states (as I would) that:

"There are three things you need to know to get to where you want to go.
1.Where do you want to go?
2.Where are you now?
3.How will you get there?

"All three aspects are equally important, but it is usually best to start with the future in mind. This way you will be Pulled by Your Vision instead of being Pushed by Your Pain."

He uses US examples, and it's slanted toward business, but the concepts are applicable to anyone's life and/or work vision.

Check it out at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wvxhk5vmqTw

The second vision is titled "Simple Gifts" and it's a lovely song of thanks-giving by Alison Kraus and Yo Yo Ma that will resonate with people anywhere.

Check it out at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYi9Vr8bHJY&feature=related

Enjoy!
---------------------------------–

QUOTABLE QUOTES
———————————————————————————
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he (or she) will meet with success unexpected in common hours."
— Henry David Thoreau

“The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision.”
— Helen Keller

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise."
— F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Vision without action is a dream. Action without vision is simply passing the time. Action with Vision is making a positive difference.”
— Joel Barker

“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.”
— Rosabeth Moss Kanter

“When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid”
— Audre Lourde
---------------------------------–

Take care of yourself!
Bruce
***************************************************
Copyright (c) 2011 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.
--------------------

Overcoming Adversity; Staying True To The Dream!

2011-11-09T16:17:00.000-08:00

A big part of being able to create what you truly want — and thrive! — is the capacity to accept adversity, deal with the grief and shock that comes with it and still stay true to your dream. This video is one of the best examples of someone doing just that -- and the best explantions for why he did, and how.

If you want to be inspired, uplifted and motivated to stay true to your dreams, watch the video.

My new ebook THRIVE! Create What Matters In Challenging Times and Beyond! is still available as a free ebook on Smashwords. Nearly 500 folks have downloaded it. I'm trying to get that up to 1000 by the time the free offer ends on Nov 15. So head on over to Smashwords now and download your copy. You can read it on your computer, iPad, Kindle, Kobo, Nook, other e-readers and some phones.

Check it out. And share the link with your friends. Share the video too. Knowledge is power!

We Are One!

2011-10-29T12:32:00.000-07:00

“When you see the Earth from space, you don't see any divisions of nation-states there. This may be the symbol of the new mythology to come; this is the country we will celebrate, and these are the people we are one with.”
- Joseph Campbell, 1904 - 1987

New Ebook THRIVE! now available.

2011-10-21T10:35:00.000-07:00

My New Ebook THRIVE! Create What Matters In Challenging Times & Beyond!
Is Available On Smashwords,com

"Books can be dangerous.
The best ones should be labeled "This could change your life."
~Helen Exley

Hey, folks!
I very happy to announce that, until November 10th, my new ebook
THRIVE! Create What Matters In Challenging Times & Beyond
is available - fr.ee! - to you and your friends.

Just go to Smashwords.com where you can download a version to read on your computer, Kindle, iPod, other e-readers - even your phone. Or you can do what I do with ebooks, print it out, and read it in the tub, a chapter at a time!

I'm getting excellent feedback on THRIVE! from some very savvy folks. Here's a sample:

In THRIVE!" says Paul Stoltz, author of Adversity Quotient, "Bruce Elkin provides a life-organizing framework with which you can dramatically refocus your life on what matters most. Be prepared to let go of stress and extraneous burdens, and re-energize your life."

Is THRIVE! for you? Will you benefit by reading it? You just might — if you are:

• Struggling to make sense of a changing world?
• Stuck, stalled, unsure of your purpose, goals, or direction?
• In transition? Not sure what to do next, or how to proceed?
• Thinking of reinventing yourself and/or your work?
• Just starting out but unsure how to organize your journey? Or where to go?
• Want to simplify your life and work, but not at the expense of success?
• Want to make life's second half vital, rich and meaningful?
• Want to create what truly matters — in harmony with your environment?

Whatever you're wanting to change or create, THRIVE! can help you get started, keep going and follow through to completion. And feel the great satisfaction and happiness that comes from creating what truly matters.

“Bruce's new ebook THRIVE! is a timely reminder of how much control we have over our happiness," says John Renesch, author of Getting to the Better Future. "It is all about the choices we make. Read it now and keep it handy, to read again whenever the world starts to wear you down.”

THRIVE! is a practical guidebook for people who want to make real and lasting changes in life and work. It'll help you envision what truly matters to you, ground it in reality and take whatever steps are needed to make your vision(s) a reality. It's kinda like having your personal life coach, right at your fingertips

"Bruce is one of the most effective coaches I've worked with," says Josh Dorfman, TV Host and author of The Lazy Environmentalist. "In THRIVE!, he gets you excited about pursuing things that truly matter and shows you how to stay the course until you get there. I found myself thinking, “This makes so much sense!”

Whether you want to change jobs, start a business or organization, or do all those things on your bucket list that seem too hard to tackle, THRIVE! can help you clarify your vision and set up an organizing framework that both energizes and guides your actions. Working within this frameworks makes it easier to learn from both your mistakes and successes, tap into your intuition and keep going when the going gets tough.

"Bruce's approach is great for creative people: says novelist Kathy Page, author of Alphabet and The Find. "When I dream up a project, I must not only think through the steps I need take, but actually take them - even those I dread or resist. I also use Bruce's approach to focus on everyday and work-related communication so that it does what I really want it to do."

In THRIVE! I show you how to shift from dependence on a reactive, problem-driven approach to life and work to embracing a powerfully effective, creating-focused approach. And how to apply that approach to create the results you'd most love to have in your life, work, and world. — starting where you are, and with whatever you have to work with.

"This short, powerful primer raises excellent questions," says Bob Stilger, former Co-President of the Berkana Institute. "It equips readers with tools, models, and perspectives to focus on what really matters. Elkin points out that challenging times offer great opportunity. Many know that - but still get stuck. This ebook provides practical advice for getting going — and knowing where to go!"

Step-by-step, I'll show you how to set up the creating framework, and apply it. I'll show you how to structure actions so you can explore, experiment and learn from your own experience. I'll take the mystery out of creating even complex results such as getting in shape, creating a green business, growing a flourishing relationship or writing that book you've always wanted to write. Or whatever you most want to create!

THRIVE! can also help you find the opportunities that abound in challenging times, and do what it takes to flourish in the face of adversity.

"Bruce's approach goes beyond coping with hard times," says Vicki Robin, million-selling coauthor of Your Money Or Your Life. "He helps you embrace life's complexity, and use it as raw material to create results. If life gives you lemons, you don't just make lemonade—you make a delicious lemon soufflé. I use some of Bruce's tools and can testify to their power."

As well as showing you how to create results, I'll also show you how to develop resilience, the "grit" needed to deal with set-backs, overcome adversity and keep working until you make your dream a reality.

"When I started out," says Doc Klein, President, Uncharted Territories, "I was lost, overconfident, looking for direction. The practices Bruce outlines in THRIVE! helped me develop a framework for life and work that I use every day."

Instead seeing life as a a litany of problems to solve, THRIVE! can help you see it as an exciting, meaningful and creative adventure. Sharon Wood, the first North American Woman to make it to the summit of Mt. Everest says, "Bruce's guidance shaped my approach to life. His template for engaging the world with wonder and enthusiasm helped me transform my dreams into reality."

So head on over to Smashwords.com and pick up your free copy of THRIVE!

"Bruce Elkin's creative approach inspires us all to question the old ways of the past in a renewed quest to find innovative ways to embrace the exciting challenges of the present."
– John Amatt, President, One Step Beyond WorldWide

Read the ebook. Practice the skills and structure. Learn from your experience. And you too can develop the capacity to create what matters most — with whatever life gives you!
----------------–

Please Help Me Get the Word Out!!
======================
My goal is to bring this book to 5,000 people. If everyone on this list shares it with 5 people - we're there!

1) Email your friends and family.
Send them a note about THRIVE! with this link:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/90569

2) Facebook and Twitter
Here's a pre-written post to copy and paste:
Check out this new ebook: THRIVE! Creating What Matters In Challenging Times & Beyond. Free! Until November 10th at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/90569

3) If you like THRIVE!, please post a short review to the Smashwords page. And to sites like Yelp and Digg. Bookmark it on Delicious. Mention it on LinkedIn. Submit it to StumbleUpon. And whatever else you can think to do! And, hey, please send me a copy, or note telling me what you did, and where. Thanks!

Knowledge is power. Pass it on!
Thanks!
---------------—

QUOTABLE QUOTES
———————————
There are two ways of being creative. One can sing and dance. Or one can create an environment in which singers and dancers flourish.
Warren G. Bennis

A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely.
Pam Brown

Adversity, and perseverance and all these things can shape you. They can give you a value and a self-esteem that is priceless.
Scott Hamilton

If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities.
Barbara Bush

Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.
John Quincy Adams
------------—

Don't forget to head over to Smashwords.com and get your f.re.e copy of THRIVE! before November 10th.
Cheers!
Bruce
***************************************************
Copyright (c) 2011 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.
--------------------

How To Feel Miserable As An Artist (via Mary Chapin Carpenter)

2011-10-12T12:46:00.000-07:00

Many of you on the list are artists of some kinds. Writers. Screenwriters. Painters. Creatives. Entrepreneurs. I clipped this list of things to do to make yourself miseable from Mary Chapin Carpenter. And I wanted to reframe them as a list of things to do to make yourself awesome and successful as an artist -- and to love it all!

1. "Comparison is sin," my Buddhist friends tell me. Forget yourself. Forcus on your work. Compare your vision of your desired end result to your assessment of the current state of that result. Take action. Create and adjust… Repeat until you're satisfied that reality matches the vision.

2. Another thing my Buddhist friends have taught me is "Expect nothing; be ready for anything!" So talk to your family if that feels comfortable and useful to you but do NOT expect them to cheer you on. Holding expectations for others leads to manipulation, dysfunctional communication and lots and lots of disppointment.

4. The stories of now great artists and writers being rejected hundreds, even thousands of times are legend. And many are true. I can't tell you how many writers labour away in obscurity, only to hit the bullseye with one tome. And then, the publisher deams all their earlier work to be "fantastic." It takes a lot of practice to become a successful creator and that means striking out way more than you smash it into the upper deck. Do your work, for your work. Let others decide if it's good, or not. And in the meantime, while they're making up their mind about it, promote the hell out of it!

5. While "stick with what you know" is often good advice, it can be limiting. Every now and then stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Adopt "beginners mind." Learn and write and paint about something entirely knew for you. Even it doesn't crack the top ten list, it'll stretch you, grow you and make you better able to stick with what you know and make it interesting to us.

6. Money is important, but don't let it dictate to you. Separate your art from your day job. Take care of your survival and, if you work at it, your art will take care of yourself, and maybe, later, you.

7. Some social convention exist for a reason; some don't. So pick and choose the ones you reject and the ones you bow to. Personally, I have no trouble driving on the right side of the road when that is the norm, and the left where that is the norm. I don't like it, but I'm willing to write the dreaded book proposal because without it, I make getting a book contract almost impossible. So use your head, pick and choose your conventions to support your art.

8. Gag me. Who cares what your family would love. And underneath the specifics of what they would love you to do are all the good things about wanting you to be happy, successful, acknowledged for the person/artist you are. You should be a doctor or a decorator are just surface was of saying, "We love you. We want the best for you!" But they don't know what best; you do!

9. Again, pick and choose well. Sometimes commissions can support your real art, sometimes they lead you into uglyland. Think first. Pick only ones that pay good, and move you toward your real goal. Then stop.

10. I think it's fine to set unachievable goals. After all you don't really know they are achievable or not until you achieve them. And I know many who have failed many times, only to finally succeed. But, my final suggestion is to progress "poco a poco" -- little by little. Some great results come quickly. Most take a long time. You need grit: long-term perseverance fired by passion and creative tension. So, take as long as it takes, but do commit to the big impossible goal and do what it takes. And when you complete the result you most care about, celebrate your impossible achievement.

What's This "Occupy" Stuff All About?

2011-10-11T11:31:00.000-07:00

Those of us in the "simplicity/simple living" world have known for years that money, greed and status weren't as satisfying as becoming successful at what truly matters to us. As singer/songwriter Kate Wolf said, "Find something you love and live a life that shows it.

I think the "occupy" movement is people waking up to the inequalities in the US (and Canada and around the world) and to the fact that our governments socialize losses and privatize gains. So the rich get richer, and the middle class and the poor (most of us!) get poorer.

This short quote from Nobel Memorial Prize winner Joseph Stilglitz says a lot to me what the Occupy movement is about.

Steve Jobs: Advice to Entrepeneurs (Or Any Creatives)

2011-10-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxo2rGr7Yfg&feature=player_embedded

We lost a great visionary and creator when Steve Jobs succumbed to cancer.

But, perhaps, you will will become the next Steve Jobs -- in your own field.

In this short video, Steve talks about "grit" being the most important factor in success. He doesn't use the word "grit," but he asserts that passion and hard work and perseverance are the key to success.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxo2rGr7Yfg&feature=player_embedded

For more on grit, go here.

… row, row for your life toward it!

2011-10-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

West Wind #2
You are young. So you know everything. You leap
into the boat and begin rowing. But listen to me.
Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without
any doubt, I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me.
Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and
your heart, and heart’s little intelligence, and listen to
me. There is life without love. It is not worth a bent
penny, or a scuffed shoe. It is not worth the body of a
dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile
away and still out of sight, the churn of the water
as it begins to swirl and roil, fretting around the
sharp rocks – when you hear that unmistakable
pounding – when you feel the mist on your mouth
and sense ahead the embattlement, the long falls
plunging and steaming – then row, row for your life
toward it.
~ Mary Oliver ~

Photo by jonbaldvin

The Wisdom of Simplicity

2011-10-07T17:23:00.000-07:00

The wisdom of simplicity is a theme with deep roots. The great value and benefits of living simply are found in all of the world's major wisdom traditions. Jesus taught by word and example that we should not make the acquisition of material possessions our primary aim. Eastern spiritual traditions such as Buddhism, Hinduism and Taoism have also encouraged a life of material moderation and spiritual abundance. The Greeks, Puritans, and Quakers all placed a similar emphasis. As well, the Transcendentalists, whose thinking is best exemplified by the lives and writing of Emerson and Thoreau. The simple life is not a new social invention -- what is new is the urgent need to respond to the radically changing material and ecological circumstances in which humanity finds itself in the modern world. Duane Elgin, author of the classic, "Voluntary Simplicity," shares further.
http://premiere.whatcounts.com/t?ctl=169886D:CF295B4B8D4774F690D9CC4D1C855F3FB4B847859706E37D&

~~~~ Be The Change: Take an additional step toward voluntary simplicity today, both internally and externally.

From DailyGood.org

RIP Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

I bought my first Mac in 1986 and have been a Steve Jobs fan ever since. A true visionary.

We can't all be visionaries, but we can all try to do what we love. If it seems a little crazy, so be it.

On The Importance of Work In Creating Success!

2011-10-04T10:49:00.000-07:00

This just about sums up my whole personal life coaching thrust. Great stuff!

Creating A Flourishing Life - With Whatever Life Gives You!

2011-10-04T10:13:00.000-07:00

This Week's Focus:

CREATING A FLOURISHING LIFE!
********************************

"Flourishing encompasses both feeling satisfied with your life and also functioning well in it. The way psychologists assess the second part is whether people feel as if they are learning, growing, and making contributions to society."
—Barbara Fredrickson

Hi All,
On the weekend I took a a post-lunch walk along the path that overlooks the Strait of Juan de Fuca. Cloudless blue sky, sun sparkling off rippling water, the whole Olympic range standing out in gorgeous contrast, and a couple of kayakers slowing, gently moving through the scene. Breathtaking!

As I walked, I passed a man talking on a cell phone. I heard him say, "I'm just finishing a two hour walk and I gotta tell you this is the most beautiful place on Earth." His face and eyes sparkled like the sun off the water below.

His comment made me smile. Both of us were experiencing positive emotions, one of the basic components of a flourishing life. Being outside in fine weather for at least 30 minutes has been shown to improve people's mood. It was sure improving this stranger's mood, and mine.

Flourishing, Thriving!
And it was no doubt moving us both toward and even beyond the fascinating 3 to 1 ratio of positive to negative moments that is the tipping point at which we begin to truly flourish and feel happy. The point at which we really start to thrive!

Simply put, "to flourish" means " to be strong and healthy and to grow well, especially because conditions are right."

However, we don't have to wait until the "conditions are right." We can take charge and create the right conditions in numerous ways.

Going outside for 30 minutes in good weather, and consciously creating a better than 3 to 1 ratio of positive to negative emotions during your day are just two of the ways you can create the conditions under which you'll flourish.

The Flourishing Tipping Point
In the Sept-Oct 09 edition of UTNE Reader magazine, positive psychologist Barbara Fredrickson talks about that 3 to 1 ratio beyond which we "tip" into a more positive, flourishing and happy life.

"Three to one is the tipping point, " she says. The healthiest thing would be to aim above—four to one, five to one, even six to one." That's where we truly start to thrive, where we flourish even if the conditions aren't perfect.

Fredrickson also points to research by John Gottman at the U of Washington showing married couples who share a five to one (5-1) ratio of positive to negative interactions create solid—flourishing—marriages.

Those couples who don't achieve this ratio tend to slip into a downward spiral of negativity. The ratio of those on the slippery slope toward divorce is 1-1, or less.

Fredrickson also states that only 20% of American adults thrive. The rest are just getting by, or worse. Upwards of 60% of US adults feel like they just going through the motions. Or as Thoreau said, "…living lives of quiet desperation."

Money Is Important But Not As Much As You Might Think!
Flourishing is not just about the money—or lack of it—for most people!

When basic survival needs are met, accumulating more money and material stuff does little to increase your level of flourishing.

Even people living on the streets or with challenging illnesses can flourish, especially when they're with friends and family, and when they are open to feeling excited when they encounter something new.

I saw an interview with a fellow who played for Canada in a recent Homeless World Cup soccer tournament. He was gushing with enthusiasm, grateful to have had such a mind-bending experience. Soccer had helped him turn his life around, get a job, a home and new supportive friends. He was flourishing.

Fredrickson says, "It's in the ordinary transactions of life—being with others and following your interests—that positive emotions grow. . . . Affluence isn't necessary."

What's Your Positivity Ratio?
Positive emotions are so important that getting your ratio to 3 to 1 and beyond can not only make you feel better, function better and flourish in life and work -- it can add up to 10 years to your life!

So how do you know what your ratio is?

You can just pay attention and guesstimate how often you feel positive and how often you feel negative. You can keep a sheet of paper or a notebook close and write down your positive or negative feelings and note the ratio.

Or Fredrickson has a website http://www.positivityratio.com where you can assess how positive or negative you felt in the last day, and what your ratio is. Try it, it only takes 2 minutes.

But more important than your exact ratio is your desire to add positive emotions to your life every day. Just aspiring to be more realistically positive can bump up your ratio. It also helps you notice the positive emotions more, and the negative ones less.

This is not a prescription for becoming Pollyanna. You don't don’t have to get rid negative emotions.

"Negative emotions are necessary for us to flourish," says Fredrickson. It is the ratio of positive to negative that determines whether you flourish or not.

Increasing Your Positivity Day-to-Day
So how do you do it? How do you add positive emotions and flourish more?

"Be aware of the moment," says Fredrickson. Most moments are positive but we miss them because we're focusing on something negative in the past or future. So try to just be open to what is, and enjoy it (or some part of it).

Being kind can help up your ratio, and paying attention to those moments when you're being kind helps even more.

As well, being grateful for what others do for you, and for all the blessings you do have can help a lot.

Get outside in nice weather and enjoy it.

I find that laughing at myself when I get angry or frustrated turns a negative emotion into a positive one.

Instead of judging myself as a "klutz" or "an idiot", I just say, "Oops! There I go again, a good person up to no good." That almost always shifts me from positive to negative. (Thanks to Robert Fritz for this one.)

More sophisticated methods of increasing positivity include practicing mindfulness and loving kindness meditation, and what the great psychologist Albert Ellis called Rational Emotive Thinking (RET).

I describe RET exercises and outline numerous methods for adding positive emotions to your daily life in my e-book Emotional Mastery: Manage Your Moods and Create What Matters—With Whatever Life Gives You!

Finally, Fredrickson recommends that we continue to change and grow.

She also points out that we do both more when we connect with others, and learn from that connection. She recommends acting in "beautifully unpredictable" ways, and says, "Nobody grows by doing the same thing every day."

So vary your routine, look for opportunities to learn and grow, shift from a problem focused stance to a creating results stance, and be kind to yourself and others.

If you improve your daily positivity ratio, you can expect to experience more meaning and purpose in life.

You will find that you receive more social support (or notice the support that's already there more).

You'll experience fewer aches and pains and other physical symptoms of disease.

You'll be more effective at what you do. You'll be better able to savor the good things in life and see more and better ways to create what matters most to you.

And you'll sleep better.

Most important, you will increase your capacity to thrive in challenging times and to flourish in the face of adversity. Isn't that worth a little investment in practice? And maybe even getting some coaching help?
-------------------
Note: Barbara Fredrickson's new book Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive is available at local libraries, bookstores, and Amazon http://tinyurl.com/pos-book
---------------------------------

ARTICLES and NEW EBOOK!
==========================
Two articles of mine that relate to vision and values are:

"Gratitude, Positive Emotions, and Success"
http://hubpages.com/hub/Gratitude--Positive-Emotions--and-Success

and

"Positive Emotions: Peak Performance In Body, Mind, and Soul"
http://tinyurl.com/Pos-Emotions

AND a version of my new ebook THRIVE! Create What Matters In Challenging Times & Beyond! is now available at Smashwords.com

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/90569

Use coupon code YS68P to get a 90% discount.
Or if you really want to support my writing and work, feel free to pay the full price. I'd appreciate it. Thanks!
--------------------------------—

VIDEO: Barbara Fredrikson Talks About the Positivity Ratio.
============================================
In this fascinating video, positive psychologist Fredrickson describes how the 3 to 1 ratio of positive emotions to negative emotions can help you flourish — especially in challenging times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hFzxfQpLjM

This is not "positive thinking" or "affirmations". It's much more grounded than either of those approaches — and much more effective. Fredrikson not only describes the ratio and how it works, but also why it works! Great stuff. Do check it out!
------------------------------------—

QUOTABLE QUOTES
=================
"No work of love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now."
—Alan Watts

"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."
—Helen Keller

"Each today, well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow a vision of hope. Look, therefore, to this one day, for it and it alone is life."
—Sanskrit Saying

"Never underestimate the value of relationships with others when times are tough. "The one-sentence version of resilience and happiness in general is, 'Other people matter,' "
-- Karen Reivich

"If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you."
—Lao Tzu
-------------

Would you like to flourish? To thrive with whatever life gives you?
To feel great and create what matters most to you?
Do you have a framework for getting started, and keeping on track and following through to completed, successful results?

If you need help figuring this out, and/or getting started, email me with "Coaching Info, Please" as the subject heading! I'll send you my fr.ee 7 page Coaching Information Package. It'll tell you about my f.ree chat offer.

I hope you have a flourishing week!
Bruce

Wingnut In A Wingsuit? Or pushing the learning edge?

2011-09-27T11:05:00.000-07:00

Have you seen this? Unbelievable!

http://gawker.com/5843740/watch-wingsuit-stuntman-jeb-corliss-fly-through-a-mountain

Although it's a bit far out for me, it does stir my adventure needs. To thrive, to flourish, we all need to test ourselves, to challenge ourselves. Not this far, necessarily, but each of us can find our own learning edge. It's tucked in there, just between the "drone zone" where we're bored and blah, and the "Panic zone," where we're freaking out with fear.

What's your learning edge? What would you like to create that'd challenge you and help you thrive?

Add your comments or email me. I'd love to hear them.

Off to buy a wingsuit. NOT!

This Huge Hamster Puts The Economy In Perspective In One Minute

2011-09-26T16:37:00.000-07:00

This Huge Hamster Puts The Economy In Perspective In One Minute

Build Your Grit: Create Great Results!

2011-09-13T11:48:00.000-07:00

This Week's Focus:
"Build Your Grit: Create Great Results!"

"I'm convinced that about half of what separates the successful … from the non-successful … is pure perseverance."
- Steve Jobs

Our lovely West Coast August has turned into a glorious West Coast September. I feel blessed.

I'm making progress on the technical side of my new ebook Thrive! How to create what matters most with whatever life gives you!

I'm going to first put it up on Smashwords.com where it can be downloaded to computers and for all e-readers.

I'm working on a plan to give all of you a coupon code which will allow you to download it for fr.ee!

Eventually, I hope to get Thrive! up on Amazon, and in a print version.

Lots of work, but lots of fun, too. It draws deeply on whatever "grit" I've developed. And builds more!

BUILD YOUR GRIT: CREATE GREAT RESULTS!
In the last edition of Simply Success I described what Positive Psychologist call "grit."

Defined as, "perseverance and passion for long term goals," your grit level accurately predicts how well you stick with and complete real and lasting results. It's a measure of your ability to maintain passion for results and to perseverance — and thrive — in the face of problems, obstacles adversity.

It's largely grit that gets you across the long slog along the flat part of the learning curve, and keeps you slogging until the curve turns up and results begin to come to you with less and less effort.

Sound good?

So how to you build grit? How do you get gritty and create those big results you'd truly love to create?

Last week, I described how taking action in creative tension — set up by holding a clear, compelling vision of a desired result in mind, simultaneously, with an objective description of the current state of that result — generates three powerful energy sources you can use to get going, keep going and follow-through to completion.

Working with the creating skills, within the creating framework and creating lots of small, medium and large creations is one key way to build grit. For a great example, see the video (below) of a high school student building his own little house in his back yard. Great way to build grit!

Here's a few other suggestions for you:
• Stick with things. Complete results, even small ones. Doing so builds competence and confidence, which combine to produce momentum, a key source of energy for creating.

• Hang around folks with grit. In person, in books and movies or in a program where you can see grit demonstrated.

Reading memoirs and biographies of gritty people helps me develop grit. See for example, Jeanette Walls great novel/memoir of her grandmother in Half Broke Horses. If you didn't know what grit was before reading this great book, you will after finishing it.

• Develop realistic optimism and positivity. By shifting from the pessimistic end of the spectrum — "I can't…" — to the optimistic and realistically positive — "I can do…" — end, you'll find it easier to create bigger and better results with less effort and far less stress.

• "Find something you really care about, and live a life that shows it!" That's a line from a Kate Wolfe song, but it could be one of life's great rules. Grit requires passion, lots of passion. So focus on what you love, your heart's desires. That'll the work and practice part of grit much easier.

• Embrace challenges. Aim above your current skill level. Not too far above, but far enough to bring out the best in you. If you're playing a sport, play with someone a little better than you. If you're writing, try to write for publication. Get outside the drone zone. Don't over-shoot into the panic zone. Find your challenge zone, and work there.

• See mistakes as feedback and learn from criticism. In creating, we try to separate the creator from the creation. So what if the story you read at the workshop got savaged by the others. YOU didn't, just the story did.

Take hints from the criticism that'll help you improve your story. If your coach criticizes your tennis swing, she's not criticizing YOU - she's criticizing your swing. Take it all in, learn from whoever and wherever you can.

• Chunk big results down into manageable chunks. Give your self small assignments and do lots of drafts. See those drafts, and all your actions, as experiments. Learn from the experience your actions lead to.

• Persevere! Work your away across the learning curve "poco a poco" — little by little, and soon you'll be experiencing the sweet feeling of successful results coming together. Remember it's the last 20% of effort that produces 80% of your results!

One last thing. Don't force yourself. Work within creative tension. Use the energy of motivation, creative tension and momentum to pull you along toward the results you truly want to create. It's easier and more fun!
--------------------------

COACHING INFO PACKAGE AND F.REE COACHING CHAT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------–
Want to develop your grit and passion for creating results that leads to real success?

I have space for 2 clients in Sept/Oct. And 3 spaces for Oct/Nov. Fall is filling fast because It's a great time to start coaching, and creating. Why wait 'till New Year's?

I'm going to Mexico for a month in December so I won't be taking any clients after the Oct/Nov period until January. So best to jump in now, and get creating!

If you'd like more info, send an e-mail with "Coaching Results Package" in the subject.
I'll send you my fr.ee 7-page info package. No obligation! No pressure!

Here's what another successful client had to say about working with me:

"Coaching with Bruce means doing practice, and being accountable to yourself. It's tough sometimes, but it sure as heck was worth it for me. I just finished my book proposal and got word from my agent that two (2!) publishers are interested. A year ago, I just dreamt about a book and told myself, "It's too hard!"
Bruce's coaching helped get me beyond that, down to work and making progress."
– D.S. Sprecher, Vancouver, BC

And you? What's your dream? What do you want to create?
If not now, when?
-----------------—

VIDEO: A HIGH SCHOOL KID BUILDS HIS "GRIT!"
————————————————————————–—
This moving video depicts a Junior in High School building grit by building his own little house in his back yard. It's on wheels, so he'll be able to take it to college and live in it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXDu2U-CmkI&feature=player_embedded

As you watch, notice how he combines learning, practice and perseverance in his building process. When he's done, he'll not only have a cool little house. He'll have more grit!
-----------------—

VERY SPECIAL VIDEO: "END MALARIA!"
BUY A BOOK AND SAVE A LIFE!
————————————————————————–—
This video is a plea to buy a new book called "End Malaria." $20 from the sale of each book will go to send a mosquito net to a family in need and to support life-saving work in the fight against malaria. By buying a copy of this book, you can help save lives!

Check out the video! It's only 1 minute.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o73udN_Y3Z0&feature=player_embedded

If a bunch of folks like you buy this book, a bunch of folks in Africa and other places will get to keep on living and enjoying life. So step up, buy a book and save a life.

I have no monetary or reciprocal relationships with the authors or the groups sponsoring this program. And I did buy a book, myself!
__________________________________________________

QUOTABLE QUOTES
———————————————————————————
“There are two keys to being creatively productive. One is not being daunted by fear of failure. The other is sheer perseverance.”
– Mary-Claire King

“Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours.”
– Orison Swett Marden

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”
– Robert F. Kennedy

“Genius is perseverance in disguise.”
– Mike Newlin

“With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.”
– Keshavan Nair
------------—

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!
-------------------------------
Thanks for reading Simply Success. If you like it, please send it on to family and friends, place it on web sites, print it, duplicate it and post it freely. Knowledge is power!

Also, posting a note on Facebook and Twitter and other social media sites can sometimes give us a huge boost. If you want, cut and paste this short post:

"New blog post: "Build Your Grit:Create Great Results!"
Go to: http://createwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com/

For more on the topic of Simplicity and Success, check out my books and ebooks at:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity.html

Have a rich, free, gritty and thriving week!

Cheers!
Bruce

***************************************************
Copyright (c) 2011 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.
--------------------

Grit: Key to Long-Term Results and Success. Have You Got It?

2011-08-21T13:10:00.000-07:00

This Week's Focus:
"Grit: Key to Long-Term Success! Do You Have It?"

"Grit is tough because you don't get the psychic payoffs that come with an exciting discovery or a shift in direction. You rarely get big wins to celebrate. … (But) that slow, inch-by-inch progress? It's called winning."
— Chip and Dan Heath

I'm enjoying a lovely August here on the south tip of Vancouver Island. Lots of sun, not too much heat and the beach just a block from me, in case I need to cool down.

I'm using the slight summer slow-down to grind away at the rewrite of my ebook.

Thriving In Challenging Times, as it's now called, it almost done and ready to be formatted for e-readers and as a PDf. It's been a long slog since I first conceived this idea, but I think the new version is more readable and will be more engaging and useful to readers. I'm happy to have inched along—poco a poco— toward what I hope will be a win/win for me, and for you!

Grit: The Key to Creating Long Term Results and Success

Each summer, the U.S. Army puts recruits through a brutal training program. It's so arduous, it used to be called "The Beast Barracks." Many don't survive the grueling physical, emotional and psychological test. Exhausted, dispirited and out of gas, they quit.

Before and after the training, the Army conducts a mountain of tests designed to predict who will stick it out—and who will achieve long-term success. They assess I.Q., E.Q., GPA, SAT, Optimism, Tenacity, etc…. One factor out-predicts all the others combined.

Grit, defined as, "perseverance and passion for long term goals," not only accurately predicts who will do well in the Army. It also predicts who'll excel at the Scripps National Spelling Bee, who'll top UPenn's psychology grad program, and who'll stick with U.S. Special Forces' training.

Grit is key because it's not an inborn personality trait. It is a character trait. You can develop it, and apply it to creating results that matter.

Grit will help you follow through to success in your career. It'll help you complete that book you've been working on. It'll help start and succeed in the business you'd love to create. It'll help you finish that stalled home reno you'd love to complete. But to do create any of these results, you'll have to work hard, persist in the face of set-backs and sustain a deep, abiding passion for your result.

Grit In Real Life
A classic example of grit is summed up in Thomas Edison's reply to critics who asked him what it was like to fail so many times. "I didn't fail," he said. "I learned 100 ways not to make a light bulb."

Sports are full of stories of grit. Since watching the 1980 "Miracle On Ice," Tim Thomas wanted to be a pro hockey goalie. Drafted in 1994, he couldn't make the National Hockey League. He bounced around minor and European leagues until 2006. Then, the Boston Bruins, beleaguered by injured goalies, gave Tim a chance. At 31, he became a starter. In 2009, he won the Vezina trophy for best NHL goalie, and in 2011 he won a Stanley Cup ring.

Where most players would have quit, Thomas kept his eyes on the prize he so passionately desired, played wherever could and, when he got his chance, followed through to success.

The arts are also full of stories of grittiness. Among his many accomplishments, Michelangelo laboured on The Pope's Tomb for 40 years! It took him four years to paint the frescos in the Sistine Chapel. The Medici family funerary chapel in the Basilica of San Lorenzo occupied him for much of the 1520s and 1530s.

J.K. Rowling toiled at The Philosopher's Stone between 1990 to 1996, in spite of job changes, moving, marriage, a baby and difficult bouts of self-doubting. But, passionate about it, she persisted, writing whenever she could find a few free moments. The rest is history!

To write about Medieval cathedral builders, Ken Follet spent vacations in Europe for nearly 20 years, studying the great cathedrals and developing a "vocabulary of architecture." Published in 1989, Pillars of the Earth was an instant best seller, staying on the New York Times best seller list for over 18 months, and on the German list for six years. Follet still sells 100,000 copies a year!

So What Makes Gritty Folks Gritty?
Milan Raonic is a young Canadian tennis phenom who dreams of, someday, becoming number one in the world. His coach says he's seen players with Milan's talent, but none who put in the practice time he does. In a recent TV interview, when was asked how he got so good so fast, Milan said that, for years, everyday before high school and university classes, he hit 600 tennis shots.

Many years before Milan was born, when Babe Didrikson Zaharias won the British woman's golf championship, people assumed she was a natural athlete. But for thirteen years, she'd hit 1,000 balls a day, getting feedback about her stance, swing and other skills.

Research shows that Achievement = Skill/Talent X Effort!

Practice doesn't just add to your skill, it multiplies it! But it must be focused!

In fields as diverse as chess, sports, music and visual arts, K. Anders Ericsson, a professor at Florida State University found that what separated the great from the good was a minimum of 10,000 hours of "deliberate" practice.

Or, as guitarist Dave Navarro put it, "It takes 20 years of practice to become an overnight sensation."

So persistent, deliberate practice is a component of grit.

As is "task commitment"—the capacity to commit to your goal (choosing not only your result, but choosing also to do what it takes to achieve that result).

And passion! Passion helps keep you focused and willing to put in the long hours needed to create long-term results.

Passion, persistence, and practice, practice, practice are the keys to grit.

Grit Doesn't Mean Forcing Yourself
Don't get the idea that develop grit and creating big results means you have to clench your jaw and force yourself to practice. It doesn't. Successful creators consciously (or intuitively) set up an organizing framework that generates three powerful sources of energy.

By holding a clear, compelling vision of a highly desired result, they create motivation. Motivation is launch energy. It gets you moving. But it's fickle, often disappearing when the going gets tough.

So, by holding a vision of a result in mind, together with a sense of its current state, creators set up "creative tension." The workhorse energy of creative tension arises out of the gap between vision and reality. It empowers creators to act, even when they don't feel motivated!

Finally, creators learn by doing. Starting small, taking doable actions, creating multiple little successes, they build the competence and confidence that leads to momentum. Momentum is the energy inherent in movement, and increases at an accelerating pace. It's the energy creators use to follow through to completion.

By integrating motivation, creative tension and momentum in a creating framework, creators set up a path of least resistance — an energy streambed — along which energy and action flows from where they are to where they want to be. The framework empowers them to generate and maintain the energy needed to hold their vision, deal with adversity and to persist and practice over long periods, until their vision becomes reality.

This grit-developing creating framework is what some might call the "hidden scaffolding" of greatness.

The good news is, you, too, can learn to set up your creating framework, and work within it to create the results you most deeply want.

How's your grit? Would you like more? Want to get serious about creating results that matter?
Yes? Let me know. Maybe I can help!
-----------------

Next Time: "How To Build Grit and Get Creating!"
--------------------------

COACHING INFO PACKAGE AND F.REE COACHING CHAT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------–
Want to develop the grit and passion for results that leads to success?

I have space for 2 new clients in September. And 2 for Sept/Oct. I'm interviewing for Oct/Nov, and fall is filling fast. It's a great time to start coaching. Why wait 'till New Year's?

If you'd like more info, send an e-mail with "Coaching Results Package" in the subject.
I'll send you my fr.ee 7-page info package. No obligation! No pressure!

Here's what another happy client had to say about working with me:

"Coaching with Bruce means doing practice, and being accountable to yourself. It's tough sometimes, but it sure as heck was worth it for me. I just finished my book proposal and got word from my agent that two (2!) publishers are interested. A year ago, I just dreamt about a book and told myself, "It's too hard!"
Bruce's coaching helped get beyond that, down to work and making progress."
– D.S. Sprecher, Vancouver, BC

And you? What's your dream?
If not now, when?
-----------------—

VIDEO: WHAT'S YOUR GRIT SCORE?
————————————————————————–—
Caroline Adams Miller, author of Create Your Best Life talks about "grit," how to get it and how to measure it. And how to create authentic self-esteem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Tn-DgQbNSI

You can check out your "grit score" at :
http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/questionnaires.aspx

It's simple and quick and fun!
__________________________________________________

QUOTABLE QUOTES
———————————————————————————
"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity."
– Louis Pasteur

"I don't know what keeps me going. Sometimes I wonder... I think it's just pure perseverance and wanting to succeed and having that burning desire to always have success."
– Tanya Tucker

"A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success."
– Elbert Hubbard

"You don't start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it's good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it. That's why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence."
– Octavia Butler

"The real issue is not talent as an independent element, but talent in relationship to will, desire, and persistence. Talent without these things vanishes and even modest talent with those characteristics grows."
– Milton Glaser
------------—

For more on the topic of Creating What Matters Most and Simplicity and Success, check out my books and ebooks at:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity.html

Have a rich, flourishing and gritty week!

Cheers!
Bruce

Integrate Your Choices; Integrate Your Life!

2011-08-09T10:44:00.000-07:00

"Our modern approach to solving our problems tends to be rational and analytic - and thus starkly impoverished. I believe that reason by itself is not - and cannot be - our ultimate salvation, and that we must instead
call on our uniquely human capacity to integrate emotion and reason: to mobilize our moral sensibilities, create within ourselves a sense of the ineffable, and achieve a measured awareness of our place in the universe."
— Thomas Homer-Dixon, The Ingenuity Gap.

This week, I want to share some ideas about "principles to live by" that can help you integrate your choices and actions around higher-level choices that truly matter to you.

Commitment: Choice Activates Your Creating Process
Commitment means, "to pledge, involve, or bind (oneself) to a certain course."

In creating, we commit to a course by choosing the results we want, and then choosing actions that we think best support those results.

Creators make three kinds of choices: foundation choices, primary choices and secondary choices.

Foundation Choices
Foundation choices are higher-order choices about core values and principles such as health, wholeness, freedom, faith, compassion, authenticity, and, for some, living in harmony with the Earth's ecological systems.

Making such choices is basic to creating a hierarchy of values that guides all of our other choices. Such a hierarchy provides a foundation upon which to make primary choices and secondary choices.

When you're stuck about what choice to make, it helps to go up to the next higher level of the hierarchy. If you're stuck, and not sure what action to take, clarify the primary choice that you want to support. If you're not sure what result to create, examine your foundation choices.

Foundation/Highest Value Choices
^
Primary/Results Choices
^
Secondary/Action Choices

As well as the choices listed above, my clients make foundation choices such as to live in peace, be authentically successful, work for the enlightenment of all beings, and to live by the values and tenets of their faith. Jill's choices included, "Healthy in body/mind/soul."

Many people I've worked tell me they've taken action until they're exhausted, yet failed to create real and lasting results. Probing a little, I discover, for example, that some go to the gym, change their diet and take vitamins but don't choose to be healthy.

Others work hard at their writing, their business, their relationships, but fail to choose to be successful. Others long to live in peace but only hope it'll come to them. They don't make the fundamental choice to be peaceful.

When my clients learn to regularly make foundations choice, they more easily create what matters. Those who choose to be healthy (rather than just fight disease) become healthy, and find the process easier, more engaging and rewarding. Those who choose to be peaceful, find it easier to create peace around them.

Each of us chooses and commits to the foundation choices we want to make, to the values that we want to express in our visions and actions.

But all successful creators make the key foundation choice to use the creative process- to be a creator. If you want to create results, you'll want to make this foundation choice, too - to be the predominant creative force in your own life.

A Compass To Guide Your Actions
You don't act directly on foundation choices. Rather, they create a context for other choices; an orientation. They set up the deep riverbed of your life. They establish an internal compass that helps you align results and action choices with what matters.

When clients report that they are stalled or backsliding in their creating practice, I always ask, “Are you making your foundation choices? Do you have them printed out and tacked up somewhere prominent?”

The answer is usually “no.”

So I suggest they start conscientiously making those choices again. That's often all it takes to get them unstuck, on track, and moving toward their desired results.

Primary and Secondary Choices
With the compass of clear foundation choices, they're better able to orient their other life choices in accordance with their foundation choices. They choose primary choices (results) and secondary choices (actions) that support the foundation choices.

As well, they see action steps as secondary choices that support their primary/results choices. In this way, they integrate and leverage their choices in support of what matters most to them.

Their energy and action then more consistently flow along the path of least resistance set up by the alignment of their foundation, primary and secondary choices. By integrating their various life choices, they are more likely to create an integral and flourishing life.
--------------------------

VIDEO: THE IMPORTANCE OF ZEST IN AN INTEGRATED LIFE!
————————————————————————–—
Caroline Adams Miller, author of Create Your Best Life talks about how to get more zest and vitality in your life. Zest will help you be happier and more successful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP_52kqa_b8

Do you have "black holes" in your life - people who suck the zest out of you?
Caroline suggest that you search for "bright lights" - people who bring out the zest in you!
__________________________________________________

TEN PRINCIPLES TO LIVE BY IN FIERCELY COMPLEX TIMES
- by Tony Schwarz, The Energy Project
————————————————————————–—
If you're like most people I work with in companies, the demands come at you from every angle, all day long, and you have to make difficult decisions without much time to think about them. What enduring principles can you rely on to make choices that reflect openness, integrity and authenticity?

Here are ten that work for me:
1. Always challenge certainty, especially your own.

2. Excellence is an unrelenting struggle, but it's also the surest route to enduring satisfaction.

3. Emotions are contagious, so it pays to know what you're feeling.

4. When in doubt, ask yourself, "How would I behave here at my best?"

5. If you do what you love, the money may or may not follow, but you'll love what you do.

6. You need less than you think you do.

7. Accept yourself exactly as you are but never stop trying to learn and grow.

8. Meaning isn't something you discover, it's something you create, one step at a time.

9. You can't change what you don't notice and not noticing won't make it go away.

10. When in doubt, take responsibility. It's called being a true adult.
Reprinted from The Harvard Business Review HBR.org.

For an brief elaboration of each of Tony's 10 Points, click here.
-----------------------------
Tony Schwarz is one of my favourite authors on high performance. His books What Rally Matters, The Power of Full Engagement, and The Way We're Working Isn't Working inform my own life choices, and I try to share his insights and practices with my clients.
————————————————————————–—

COACHING INFO PACKAGE AND F.REE COACHING CHAT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------–
Are you living an integrated life, guided by your highest values and principles?

I have space for 2 new coaching clients in August, and 3 in Sept/Oct. I've started interviewing for Oct/Nov, and the fall looks like it'll fill fast. Early fall is a great time to start a coaching program. Why wait until New Year's?

If you'd like more info, send me an e-mail with "Coaching Results Package" in the subject. I'll send you my fr.ee 7-page info package. No obligation! No pressure!
Email to: Bruce@BruceElkin.com
-----------------------------

Here's what another happy client had to say about working with me:

"Bruce's coaching made the difference between successfully easing out of my old job and starting my small business in my basement. Then he helped me scale it up to a size that supports my family in what he calls a "sufficient" way. I couldn't have done it without him, and the excellent "creating-based" framework he taught me, then coached me to apply to my biz and other results I want to create."
– Annie Wilstonson, Seattle, WA

And you? If not now, when?
-----------------—

QUOTABLE QUOTES
———————————————————————————
"Know that tension is an integral part of growth. Instead of avoiding or resisting tension when it arises, identify the opposing forces at play. Make space for each of them to be there together and the tension will transform. "
– Neale Donald Walsch

"There are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise, and integration. By domination only one side gets what it wants; by compromise neither side gets what it wants; by integration we find a way by which both sides may get what they wish."
– Mary Parker Follett

"The road to happiness lies in two simple principles: find what it is that interests you and that you can do well, and when you find it, put your whole soul into it — every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have."
– John D. Rockefeller III

"Of all the millions of words written on happiness, this is the oldest and most enduring truth. If the principles of contentment are not within us, no material success, no pleasures or possessions, can make us happy."
– Lillian Eichler Watson

"As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble."
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Simple, clear purpose and principles give rise to complex and intelligent behaviour. Complex rules and regulations give rise to simple and stupid behaviour."
- Dee Hock
------------—

How You Can Help Me
------------------------—
Thanks for reading my blog. If you like it, please send it on to family and friends, place it on web sites, print it, duplicate it and post it freely. Knowledge is power!

Also, posting a note on Facebook and Twitter and other social media sites can sometimes give us a huge boost. If you want, cut and paste this short post:

"New blog post: "Integrate Your Choices; Integrate Your Life!"
Go to: http://www.aweber.com/archive/simpl-success

For more on the topic of Simplicity and Success, check out my books and ebooks at:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity.html

Much appreciated!
Bruce

Flourish? Or Flounder? Your Choice!

2011-06-07T14:17:00.000-07:00

June 1, 2011

This Week's Focus:
"Floundering? Or Flourishing? What's Your Choice?"

"Like any other living thing, you may either languish, barely holding on to life, or flourish, becoming ripe with possibility and remarkably resilient to hard times. People who flourish function at extraordinarily high levels - both psychologically and socially. They're not simply people who feel good. Flourishing goes beyond happiness, or satisfaction with life. True, people who flourish are happy. But that's not the half of it.

"Beyond feeling good, they're also doing good - adding value to the world. People who flourish are highly engaged with their families, work, and communities. They're driven by a sense of purpose: they know why they get up in the morning. . . Although flourishing is noble, it need not imply grand or grandiose actions. It simply requires transcending self-interest enough to share and celebrate goodness in others and in the natural world."
– Barbara Fredrikson

Beginning of June, and although it is much milder and the weather more benign here on Vancouver Island than it is in many places in the world, people still complain about our long, chilly spring.

I tend to ignore these complaints and focus instead on all those who, whatever the weather, are out doing the things they love, and enjoying the people they do them with.

I'm more attracted and inspired by those who flourish in the face of adversity than I am by those who flounder and languish, wishing the world would accommodate them and their plans. In fact, I structure my personal life coaching approach to help clients flourish, rather than flounder, or lauguish.

How about you?

Flourishing In A Creating Stance? Or Floundering In Problem-Solving?
If you see life or work as an endless list of problems to solve, obstacles to overcome, or clutter to clear, it will become an energy-sapping struggle. It will lack meaning.

Dedicating precious life energy to meaningless tasks becomes boring, pointless and, eventually, depressing.

You'll find yourself floundering, unable to clarify or create what truly matters to you.

To "flounder" is, "to struggle awkwardly to move, as in deep mud or snow; plunge about in a stumbling manner."

But if you see life and work as a series of opportunities to create what matters, your life can be an exciting, meaningful adventure.

You can embrace and transcend problems and create what matters.

You can flourish in the face of adversity and give your great gifts to the world.

To "flourish" is, "to grow vigorously; succeed; thrive; prosper; to be at the peak of development, activity, influence, production, etc.; be in one's prime."

Which state would you prefer?

Floundering in problem solving? Or flourishing in creating?

I'm going to assume you picked the latter.

Shifting Focus
In my personal coaching, one of the first things I do is help clients shift focus from solving problems to creating results that matter.

To start creating, shift your focus from getting rid of (or relief from) what you don't like and don't want to clarifying and creating what you truly do want.

Don't ignore problems or adversity. Acknowledge them. Embrace their messiness as part of current reality.

But make your desired result primary.

Put it first. Make solving problems secondary. See them as supporting actions that acknowledge reality-as-it-is and support your desired results.

When you can do this, problems will no longer drive your actions, or your life.

As you shift to creating as your primary stance, most problems dissolve. They fade away as you focus your energy on results that matter.

My "Weight Problem" Faded Away!
I once had a hefty weight problem. I'd diet, lose the "problem weight," celebrate and then slowly slip back into my weight-gaining ways. My weight problem returned.

Again, I'd diet, lose weight and repeating the process over and over in what nutritionists call "the yo-yo syndrome."

Then, I discovered the Honolulu Marathon Clinic, and running as a joyful passion. I signed up for the marathon, started training and doing short races. I loved it!

Although injury sidelined me before race day, I've kept up an aerobic exercise habit ever since, switching to walking and cycling, as I got older.

My weight "problem" faded as I focused on creating a strong, fit, healthy body, and doing what it took to create it.

Later, after fully grasping the difference between problem-solving and creating, I began to shift to a creating stance in all areas of my life.

Embrace Reality; Create What Matters Most!
"All the greatest and most important problems of life are fundamentally insoluble," said Carl Jung. "They can never be solved, but only outgrown."

Describing his clinical experience, Jung said, "Some higher or wider interest appeared on the patient's horizon, and through this broadening of his or her outlook the insoluble problem lost its urgency."

His patients' problems were not solved logically, in their own terms, "but faded when confronted with a new and stronger life urge."

Although I still have lots to learn about creating, most of the messy "problems" I encounter either fade away, or are dealt with as action steps in my creating process.

Love and Joy Motivate More Than Do Problems or Fear!
Only one out of ten post-cardiac surgery patients maintain healthy lifestyle changes beyond a year or so. But the ten percent who do sustain healthy changes are motivated, not by fear, but by a hopeful vision of an engaged, joyful life.

They envision taking long walks with breath to spare, scampering up stairs with ease, making love without discomfort and being around long enough to enjoy their grandchildren.

Love and joy are powerful motivators!

A collective example of a joy-driven approach to change is The Transition Town Movement.

In The Transition Town Handbook , Rob Hopkins describes the daunting environmental, economic, and social reality we face from dwindling oil supplies and a positive vision of what a successful world-without-oil could look like - with practical steps for creating such a world, one town at a time.

The Transition approach is creating-based. Transitonistas simultaneously hold in mind a motivating vision of a preferred future and an objective assessment of current reality. The creative tension that arises out of the gap between vision and reality generates energy for action. It empowers them to create results with less stress, and more fun.

In his Foreword to The Transition Handbook, Richard Hienberg describes Transition's approach as "more like a party than a protest march."

The Urge to Create
Einstein said we couldn't resolve problems at the same level of consciousness that created them. To succeed, he said, we'd have to shift to a higher order stance, or perspective.

Creating is a higher order stance than problem-solving. It is driven by a stronger life urge. By shifting our individual and collective consciousness to creating, we can transcend problems and create results that are currently beyond our capacity.

In creating, we acknowledge circumstances, but, because deeply desired results drive our actions, the power is in our hands, not in the circumstances.

Action-killing feelings are replaced by positive feelings that open us to creative and integrative thinking - and to more possibility!

A Tipping Point Into A "Flourishing" Life!
Positive psychologist Barbara Fredrickson says "when we experience positive emotions in at least a 3-to-1 ratio with negative emotions, we cross a psychological tipping point on the other side of which we function at our very best."

On the other side of that tipping point, you'll be happier, more creative and resilient.

"Once your ratio enters this bouyant, flourishing territory," says Fredrickson, "you'll be prepared to make the positive contributions that this world sorely needs."

What Kind Of Future Do You Want To Create?
The lasting results that comprise great cultures - art, literature, music, science, technology, architecture, business - were created, not by frightened problem solvers, but by vision-driven creators acting on a deep creative urge.

And the future we leave for our children will be created not merely by problem-solvers reacting to circumstance, but by creators, acting out of love and joy and a desire to create what matters most.

"Those who do not create the future they want," said Draper L. Kaufman, Jr., "must endure the future they get."

What kind of future do you want to create?

Which do you want to do: Flounder? Or flourish?

Are any changes needed for you to act how you'd like to act, and to create what you most want to creat?

If not now, when?
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VIDEO: Barbara Fredrikson On "Positivity and Flourishing"
———————————————————————————
In this illuminating and inspiring video, Barbara Fredrikson talks about the timelessness of her book "Positivity", including such topics as the importance of the ratio between positive and negative emotions, the tipping point and how to flourish in the face of fear and adversity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ds_9Df6dK7c

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
______________

QUOTABLE QUOTES
———————————————————————————
"Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life."
– Rachel Carson

“Individuals and organizations thrive when people see the best in themselves, share their dreams and concerns in a positive way, and when they join their voices in the same direction in order to create, not only new worlds, but better worlds.”
– David Cooperider

"Just as the tumultuous chaos of a thunderstorm brings a nurturing rain that allows life to flourish, so too in human affairs times of advancement are preceded by times of disorder. Success comes to those who can weather the storm."
– I CHING, no. 3

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

"The dedicated life is the life worth living. You must give with your whole heart."
– Annie Dillard

No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.
– Alan Watts
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Thanks for reading this blog. If you like it, please send it on to family and friends, place it on web sites, print it, duplicate it and post it freely. Knowledge is power!

We're at 1906 subscribers today. It'd be great to crack that 2000 mark soon!

One of the best things you can is post a note about this blog, or article, on Facebook or Twitter, including this link: http://www.bruceelkin.com/free.html

Thanks so much for your support. Much appreciated!

NOTE: If you received this newsletter from a friend, you can subscribe to it for yourself at
http://www.bruceelkin.com/free.html Please do!

Also, feel free to send me your questions and comments. I'll try to deal with them ASAP, directly or in the newsletter. All the best.

For more on the topic of Simplicity and Success, check out my books and ebooks at:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity.html

Have a rich, free and flourishing couple of weeks!

Cheers!
Bruce

PS: Personal Coaching Info Package and F.ree Coaching Chat
I have space for 2 new life coaching clients in June/July and am interviewing now. If you'd like more info, send me an e-mail with "Personal Coaching Results Package" in the subject.
{'ll send you my fr.ee 7-page info life coaching info package. No obligation! If not now, when?!

By the way, my personal life coaching program is robust enough to apply to creating the kind or quality of business you'd love to create. Why not give it a look?
***************************************************
Copyright (c) 2011 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.
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"Generosity, Truth and Wholehearted Creating"

2011-05-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

Generosity, a photo by photoshoparama - Dan on Flickr.

This Week's Focus:
"Generosity, Truth and Wholehearted Creating"

"A thing I learned in boyhood—not that I made any sense of it until decades later—was never to betray yourself by refusing to acknowledge what you want. The fortunate few can name their yearnings."
— Bill Kittredge, The Nature of Generosity

Spring continues to sprung in fits and starts. Sun. Rain. Sun. Rain….

Many complain about the rain, but, together with the sun, it's a key ingredient in nature's prolific yearning to create more life.

So, I try to take both as they come, and enjoy the results — daffodils, dogwood blossoms, and, this week, delicate and delightful patches of trilliums in the park across the street.

Thank you for all your emails. I appreciate the feedback and the passion so many of you have to shift from a problem-focused stance to a creating stance. And all your great questions!

I continue to get questions about how my personal life coaching approach can help folks get clear about what matters, and what to create. So, in the spirit of dialogue, here's another attempt to answer them.

GENEROSITY AND TRUTH: KEYS TO CREATING A LIFE THAT MATTERS

Part of an answer can be found in writing teacher Bill Kittredge's comment above – about not betraying your deepest yearnings.

Take time to let those yearnings bubble up into your consciousness. Name them. Envision them as completed results. Try them out in your mind, and, then, in reality.

Clarity about what matters emerges from the experience of actually creating! Doing, not just thinking!

Another thing I learned from Bill — the writing teacher, and the man — was to live generously. And truthfully. Being generous means caring about what matters to you, and creating a life that shows it.

"We are not entirely programmed by drives coded into our genetic makeup and doomed to selfishness," Bill says. "We can turn our lives into gifts. Many have. We can live in accord with our desire to take care—if we want to."'

To turn our lives into gifts requires both generosity and truth, says writer and teacher Brenda Ueland:

"When you get the hang of it, you will work … freely, pulled toward it in fascination. … (Y)ou will never be working from grim dry willpower but from generosity and the fascinating search for truth."

She's talking about writing, but her advice is true for all acts of creating. Practical, everyday creating — homes, careers, relationships, financial freedom, a cottage at the lake, a sustainable community, etc…— as well as art.

Grim dry willpower soon gets tiring. It's difficult to sustain. Sure, sometimes it's good to be the little train who thought s/he could. But consistently using willpower to force yourself to act can backfire. With my personal coaching clients, I see that it can suck up so much energy that you they burn out, say "the heck with it" (or worse) and quit.

Using conflict (or the threat of conflict) to manipulate yourself into creating doesn't work well either.

Upping the intensity of the bad feelings surrounding a problem or issue may cause you to act, but only to reduce (or get rid of) the intensity. When you get relief from intensity, there's no longer an impetus to act. The problem remains, or comes back.

Like willpower manipulation, conflict manipulation leads you to the same "the heck with it" place. Tired, dispirited, word down and out of energy, you quit.

Both of these approaches fail because they do not engage the whole self. They do not integrate your head, hands and heart in the act of creating. They are half-hearted attempts to create what matters.

Wholehearted Creating
To create results that matter, approach creating wholeheartedly. Work with generosity and a fascination for truth.

Open to your passionate yearnings. Seek truth: make reality your ally, not your enemy.

"Generosity" means giving freely. You create, not just for yourself and what you get back from it. You create because you love the creation enough to want to bring it into being — even if it is a small practice creation such as "a neat, tidy, well-organized and aesthetically pleasing bedroom closet."

You create as a way of giving your gifts to the world. Generosity has the same Latin root "gen" as genesis, generate and genius.

I find my personal coaching clients generate more motivational energy and more efficient actions if they give freely to their visions of desired results, and to the results envisioned.

Start by being wholehearted in how you imagine and describe your result. Ask:
What is it? Why do I want to create it? What does it look and feel like? What does it do? Who is it for? What will make it lovely, inspiring, appreciated — by you and whoever interacts with it?

Be generous with your passions. Name them. Describe them. Let them fill you with power and energy.

Why Halfhearted Creating Doesn't Work
When they first start working with me, some clients are reluctant to put their whole heart, their whole self and all their energy into practice creations that help them master the basic skills and structure of creating, and get them into their muscles.

"It's too small, too trivial, too simple, too… whatever!" they complain about practice creations. "I want to create a career, or a fantastic relationship, or a great business, or a best-selling novel. I don't see what creating a tidy closet has to do with anything!"

So they half-heartedly dash off a quick vision of a practice creation, kind of like they did homework in high school, and send it to me. When we talk, they apologize for not doing more. They provide excuses such as "not enough time, too hard to turn verbs into nouns, too hard to get specific…."

Some hold themselves back for fear of looking foolish, or putting in time and getting it "wrong." Others because they're timid, and only want to get one toe in the water.

"Timidity be damned!" I say. "If you're gonna get this stuff into your muscles, into your heart and hands as well as your head, you must go at it wholeheartedly."

Wholehearted Creating Works Better and Feels Better!
If you want to learn to create, plunge into it. Throw yourself into the learning. Be generous with your time and effort. Try, fail, learn, try again and again….

"The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes," said drawing teacher Nicoliades, "the sooner you'll learn to draw."

It's true — for drawing, and for all acts of creating — for the creating you want to do!

Clients who get clear about why they're creating practice creations not only do well with those creations. They get the basics into their muscles. They learn from the experience of creating something actual.

Creating small creations increases their capacity to create. As their capacity increases, they're able to scale up to larger, more complex creations.

Eventually, through practice, learning and deep mastery, they develop the capacity to stretch for the BIG creations they so deeply desire. And to do so wholeheartedly!

Working With the Truth
Creators want to know the truth about the current state of their creation.

Working with a fascinating search for truth, they are able to see what they have or don't have in relation to their result. They are honest about their reality. They neither make it out to be better than it is, or worse than it is. They strive to see reality just as it is – and to describe it, not judge it.

When their generous, passionate vision is clear and compelling and their current reality is accurate, objective and emotionally neutral, creators hold both in mind at the same time, and gently embrace the gap between them. That's where the magic happens!

Making Magic, Creating Results
Out of the gap between vision and reality, a useful creative tension forms.

Creative tension is like the energy in a big rubber band stretched between vision and reality. Creators use that energy, and the structure that gives rise to it, to energize and guide their actions. And to contain their exploring and experimenting.

Working within this structure, their actions increasingly flow along a self-created path of least resistance toward their desired result.

Along the way, creators try stuff, lots of stuff.

They experiment. They learn from their experience. They adjust their actions based on that experience, and try new stuff. They explore. They follow hunches and intuitions, and test them out by comparing their results to their envisioned result. They create and adjust, create and adjust … and build the powerful energy of momentum.

As momentum builds creators use it's added energy to follow through and bring into being the completed result they so generously envisioned.

So don't go into creating half-heartedly. Put your whole heart into it. Name your yearnings. Clarify your desires and passions. Be generous with your time and energy and effort. Seek and embrace the truth. See failure as feedback. Enjoy the process!

The rewards of generously creating what matters, to you and to the world, will be more than worth your time and effort.
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VIDEO: SUZE ORMAN ON "GENEROSITY, GIVING AND HONOURING YOUR VALUES"
========================================================
Do check out this short (3 mins) video. Personal finance expert Suze Orman responds to a young woman who asks, "How do I know how much to give?"

Her answers are more about generosity of spirt than finance. Very inspiring!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtYZZy6rTPA
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QUOTABLE QUOTES:
===============
"Writing is an act of generosity. Just turn the 'M' in 'Me' over and make it a 'We'."
– Annie Dillard

"Giving is as good for the giver as it is for the receiver. Science says it's so. We'll be happier, healthier, and even-odds are-live a little longer if we're generous.
– Dr. Stephen G. Post

“It's all in your perception. If you see your tasks in life as drudgery, then they are drudgery. On the other hand, if you see them as gifts of the Universe manifest through you, then your tasks are done in the spirit of love and generosity.

"You step out of your ordinary life and make it extraordinary. Little by little, you realize that your life truly makes a difference and you are filled with a wondrous sense of gratitude and abundant flow. A heavenly feeling, indeed!”
– Susan Jeffers

"But few have spoken of the actual pleasure derived from giving to someone, from creating something, from finishing a task, form offering unexpected help almost invisibly and anonymously."
– Paul Wiener

“One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.”
– Maya Angelou
-------------------

If you're interested in personal life coaching, email me with "personal coaching info" in the subject line.
I'll send you my fr.ee 7-page info package. No obligation!
If not now, when?
Bruce @ BruceElkin .com

Please check out my book Simplicity and Success and my ebooks Emotional Mastery and Creating Sustainable Success at:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity.html

I hope you have a rich, simple and flourishing week.

Cheers!
Bruce

What If I Don't Know What I Want to Create?

2011-05-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

"What If I Don't Know What Really Matters?"

"What If I Don't Know What Really Matters?"

"It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work.
Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier.
Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible."
– Thomas Gaines

Blue sky bluebird days here on Vancouver Island. A few sunshowers around, but mostly clear. And warming up. After a damp, chilly winter. Happy Spring to my northern friends. Happy Fall to those of you in the south!

In the last issue, I talked about the place of vision in creating, and provided tips for making your vision clear and compelling.

When vision is clear and compelling, it generates more motivational power. It makes it easier to assess current reality and set up a solid foundation for action. It makes it easier to establish creative tension as both an organizing framework and a more constant source of energy for action than just motivation.

Motivation is kind of like the spring sunshine. It's great when it's around but it often ducks behind the shifting clouds of our moods. So, crafting a vision that generates both motivation and creative tension is a critical part of creating what matters.

But, a number of people wrote in to ask, "What if I don't really know what matters?

Good question!

HOW TO GET CLEAR ABOUT WHAT TRULY MATTERS TO YOU
Someone, perhaps the philosopher Michael Polyani, once said that most of us go through life doing what is second, third… or tenth most important to us — because we're afraid to fail at what is most important.

Some of us are so afraid of failing, or looking foolish, or being laughed at, or all of the above that we won't even admit to ourselves that there is a number one, a "most important".

Then we cover up our self-deceit by becoming fuzzy about our deep desires.

Instead of following our heart's desires, many of my personal coaching clients "should' on themselves. They try to live up to goals and visions that, deep down, they don't really care about.

Or we hide behind the energy-sapping "YEAH, BUT…" way of organizing our desires and current reality. In a "Yeah, but…" approach, the "Yeah" is about something we want. It generates motivational energy.

"Yeah, I'd love to start a home based business," for example. Or, "I'd love to be fit and lean energetic enough to dance the tango late into the night."

But, then, that energy is negated by the "BUT," and what follows it.

"BUT I don't have enough time, energy, talent, money, etc…. And even if I did, I don't know where to start or what to do and I'm afraid I wouldn't get it right and…."

As a result, we fail to act on what we truly want to create. We get along or get by, but don't move toward what most deeply matters to us.

Vision Expresses Your True Desire
True vision arises out of deep, heartfelt desire. It is born of authentic passions unique to you.

“The word desire comes from de-sidere, or "away from your star." It means pulled away from the source. A desire, properly held, can set up powerful pull to get back to that source.

Sometimes, though, you have to dig down through layers of empty ideals and the dust of old desires to get at those sources – to find what you truly want.

Take Murray for example. He'd recently moved to our island but continued to work via the Internet for a high tech firm in a city 750 miles away. But he wasn't happy with his situation.

He signed up for one of my 6-week group life coaching workshops hoping to get some help creating a new career for himself. Little did he know, but Murray was to become on of my most enjoyable success stories.

Dig Deep to Uncover Authentic Desires
On the first night, I asked my personal coaching participants to draw up a list of ten things they wanted to create over the next six weeks to ten years. From that list, I asked them to pick one result that they wanted to create during the six weeks of the workshop as a practice project.

When Murray came to the second session, a week later, he was frustrated. During the week, he'd discovered he did not want any of the things on his list, or the practice creation he'd chosen. They were all, he told us, things that he thought would make his wife or his parents happy. They weren't things that'd lead to meangingful career success for him

I asked him to draw up a new list. Although it was difficult for him, he did as I asked.

When he returned for the third session, Murray again reported that, after working with the things on his new list, he had discovered that they, too, were not things that he truly wanted.

This time he'd made a list of ideals or "shoulds", things he thought a man his age with a family was “supposed” to want, if he was to appear mature, responsible, and successful.

Murray was frustrated and anxious about his failure to clarify what he wanted.

I asked him to do a short guided visualization, in which he imagined that anything he wanted was possible, and that money, skills, education, outside approval and success could all be assumed. I asked him to imagine what he would want to create under such optimum circumstances.

“I'd make up games,” he said, with a sheepish look on his face. “Board games.”

“Great,” I said. “Is that something you'd truly like to do?”

“Yes,” he said, “but…”

“But, what?” I asked.

He looked around the room at the other class members. He seemed nervous, tentative, like a frightened child.

“Is it okay to want something like that?” he asked. “I mean, it's kind of a kid's thing, isn't it? What would people think?”

“What people? Okay with who?” I said. “If it's what you want, it's what you want. It's important to acknowledge that. Just because you want something doesn't mean that you have to act on it; you always have a choice. It is, however, important to know what you do want.”

Murray nodded his head.

“Besides,” I added, “do you think the inventors of Monopoly or Trivial Pursuits care about what people think?” He grinned.

From Small Successes to Career Success and His Life's Work
During the rest of the workshop, Murray practiced his creating skills by inventing a prototype board game, which we all played on the last night.

He also got in touch with other, more deeply held desires.

One of them, the desire to brew high quality beer from scratch using organic ingredients, led him to envision and start a U-Brew business, which, over the next few years, he built into a success then sold.

Then he started a microbrewery, which he envisioned as a “zero-emissions” operation; all wastes re-cycled or turned into marketable organic products like exotic mushrooms and pond-raised catfish.

Although starting these businesses was stressful, Murray is much happier now that he is focused on what matters to him, now that his path has heart. And more fulfilled!

“It isn't always easy,” he told me, “but it is what I want to do. And that's a lot better than trying to live up to other people's expectations or “shoulding” on my myself.” I agreed.

Recently, one of Murray's "Saltspring Island Ales" won two Gold Medals at the Canadian Brewery Awards. See: http://www.gulfislandsbrewery.com/folks.html
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QUOTABLE QUOTES:
===============
"The presence of excuses in your life is evidence that you are focusing on what you can't do or don't have, rather than what you desire."
– Wayne Dyer

"It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers, but for powers equal to our tasks, to go forward with a great desire forever beating at the door of our hearts as we travel toward our distant goal."
– Helen Keller

"We are told that talent creates its own opportunities. But it sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities, but its own talents."
– Eric Hoffer

"Burning desire to be or do something gives us staying power -- a reason to get up every morning or to pick ourselves up and start in again after a disappointment."
– Marsha Sinetar

"The key that unlocks energy is desire. It's also the key to a long and interesting life. If we expect to create any drive, any real force within ourselves, we have to get excited."
– Earl Nightingale
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If you're interested in personal life coaching, email me with " personal coaching info" in the subject line.
I'll send you my fr.ee 7-page life coaching info package. No obligation!
If not now, when?
Bruce@BruceElkin.com

Also, please check out my book Simplicity and Success and my ebooks Emotional Mastery and Creating Sustainable Success at:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity.html

How Vision Can Help You Create Desired Results!

2011-03-16T15:55:00.000-07:00

"Live with vision and purpose.
Resilient people don't wait passively for the future to happen to them-
they become the future by consciously creating it."
- Joan Borysenko

VISION AND THE POWER OF CREATING
The most impactful part of my coaching is helping people discover the power in creating.

Creating is a more powerful results-generator than problem-solving. Particularly for complex, messy "life" situations.

Complex, open-ended challenges such as dealing with anxiety and depression, or creating a rich, simple and flourishing life, or a web-based home business or a thriving relationship are not problems, and not solvable.

They are mysteries to explore, challenges to rise to, and always opportunities to create — to turn dreams into reality.

Problem-solving may give you temporary relief from bad feelings you create when facing difficulties. But creating, when mastered, greatly increases your chances of crafting the real, lasting results you long for.

Creating is driven by vision, grounded in an objective, emotionally-neutral description of current reality. Holding vision and reality in mind together sets up creative tension that energizes and guides actions.

Within creative tension, you act, learn from experience and craft results you want.

Creating is senior to problem-solving, because it embraces problems in current reality and transcends them through action.

VISION IN THE CREATING APPROACH
A vision is a clear, compelling mental picture of a result you want to create.

Some clients struggle get "clear" but can't always make it "compelling". To create, you need both!

Here are tips for crafting clear and compelling visions of results.

Separate Vision From Reality
To start, temporarily separate vision from reality.

Don't worry whether your vision is realistic, or even doable. You won't know that until you actually create it.

Don't worry whether you have what it takes (time, money, talent, resources, etc…). You'll figure that out as you go.

To begin, you just need a heartfelt vision of a desired result.

Shift Focus From Problems To Desired Results
"Lose this ugly extra weight," becomes "A fit, healthy, well-toned body.”

“Quit smoking,” becomes "Clean, strong, lungs. Fresh breath.”

"Solving pollution," becomes "Clean, healthy streams, rivers, air, and watersheds."

Good start, but these are not quite visions, yet.

They're concepts - general ideas that encompass many visions. To give them power, you need to focus them into specific results.

Focus: Make the General Specific
It's fine to start with general concepts such as "health," "financial independence," "a good job," "a flourishing life," or "a healthy, resilient relationship."

But, to succeed, focus general concepts into specific results.

Take "A fit, healthy, well-toned body.” With help, a client clarified this concept with specific criteria to help her monitor progress and know when she'd completed it.

“A fit, healthy, flexible, and energetic body. Able to ski black diamond runs all day and do it again the next - even at 80! Able to cycle 100 kilometres to Sidney and back. Normal resting heart rate 60 bpm. BMI: 20. Jean size: 2. Feeling great!"

A clear, compelling vision gives you focus. Focus generates energy you can use to take action and bring your vision into being.

Which has the most power to move you to action - the concept or the vision?

Visions Grow In The Doing.
Success criteria and standards of measurement get clearer as you ground them in reality, and act on them. As you learn from experience, visions flesh out, get bigger, clearer and more compelling.

But don't assume that because you can think of the "best-selling book" you want to create that you have a clear vision of what it would look like when created.

Write it out. Make sure you're clear about your success criteria and standards.

Make Your Vision Heartfelt!
You can't fake "compelling." You have to feel it in your heart and body.

Scientific studies show that desires that are not felt - that do not register in your heart or your body - are empty. They won't motivate you, or help you set up creative tension.

When I draft a vision, I stand up and read it aloud.

If it makes the hair on my neck stand up, gives me goosebumps, or I pump my fist and say, "Yes!" — it's good enough. If it's flat, unengaging, not deeply felt — back to the drawing board!

"Make no small goals," says an old saying, "for they lack the power to stir our souls."

So make visions heartfelt. Get your visions into you heart and body, as well as your head. Let yourself feel them deeply.

Big Visions Emerge From Creating Smaller Results
But what if I don't know what I really want?

"Learning what to want," says Sir Geoffrey Vickers, "is the most radical, the most painful and the most creative art of life." That's why coaching can help!

It's best to start with small, concrete results that quickly give you a feel for the dynamics of creating. Create little creations, get the dynamics wired, then scale up.

One client became a producer of major motion pictures. When I asked her how she did it, she said, "Just like you taught me — vision, current reality, creative tension, create and adjust…. Repeat until done!

"I started with my little work nook. Then, with hubby, I created a home office. It was fun and improved our relationship, so we eventually renovated the whole house. Then we sold it and built our dream home. It was great practice!

"I did the same with films — started small and gradually made my creations bigger. It's so simple! Ha! But it took a lot of practice, and now I'm doing what, in my heart of hearts, I'd always longed to do."
-------------–

CAN COACHING HELP YOU CREATE DESIRED RESULTS?
========================================
Are you down, anxious? Stuck, stalled or drifting?
Trying to spin too many plates on spindly sticks?
In transition? Not sure what's next?
Thinking about self-employment
but don't have a solid framework to guide you?

Coaching can help you clarify what you truly want to create.
I can also help you set up an organizing framework that embraces vision and reality, helps you make good choices and take actions that make your dreams a reality – with whatever you have to work with!

Creating what matters will help you feel empowered, authentically confident, free and flourishing!

"There are very few days, if any, that pass in which the lessons I have learned from our sessions together do not play an important role in the choices I make. I wanted to let you know how much you helped me get unstuck and keep from getting stuck somewhere else, which was my purpose in choosing to work with you.

"My creating projects (fitness, business, selling the house) are moving along. I'm no longer anxious and stressed. I'm relaxed, feeling confident, and moving in the direction of my dreams. I'm "practicing!" (Thank You Bruce for drilling that into my head!!) … using the tools that work best for me and keep me moving towards what I want to create."
— J. Bronstein, MN

I have space 1 new client in March, and 3 in April 2. Interested?
If so, e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject line.
I'll send my 7-page COACHING INFO PACKAGE.
And info about my fr.ee 45-minute consult.
Email: Bruce (at) BruceElkin (dot) com
-------------

VIDEOS: "KEY TO MY WORK: Shifting From Problem-Solving to Creating!"
=====================================================
This video feature me, talking about the difference between solving problems and creating desired results. I hope you'll take a look at it, and that it'll help you grasp the difference between the two approaches.

http://conversationswithroger.blip.tv/file/3807483/

Thanks to ConversationWorks.ca for making and posting this video!
----------------—

QUOTABLE QUOTES:
===============
"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart ...
Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."
– Carl Jung

"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication.'
– Gail Devers

"Personal leadership is the process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with them."
– Stephen Covey

The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision."
– Helen Keller

"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.'
– Woodrow Wilson

"Begin with a vision and hold it fast
Reality passes but great dreams last
In time, wit and work will open the doors
To give form and body to that dream of yours
Begin with a vision and follow it through
For that is the way great tomorrows come true."
– Helen Lowrie Marshal
-------------------

Copyright (c) 2010 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.
--------------------

What Would YOU Create?

2011-01-28T11:17:00.000-08:00

If the success or failure of this planet
and of human beings
depended on who am and what I do…

Who would I be?
What would I do?
– Buckminster Fuller

Check out this excellent series of videos on "Architecting the Future". It's based on the work of Buckminster Fuller, and, although a little heady, is stuff that results in real and lasting creations.

http://vimeo.com/16279223

Very inspiring!

Also, more videos and info about Bucky and the Buckminster Fuller Institute at http://vimeo.com/buckyfuller

The Problem with Perfection: Procrastination!

2011-01-27T15:28:00.000-08:00

"We are now faced with the fact, my friends, that tomorrow is today.

"We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history, there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Life often leaves us standing bare, naked, and dejected with a lost opportunity.

"The tide in the affairs of men does not remain at flood - it ebbs. We may cry out desperately for time to pause in her passage, but time is adamant to every plea and rushes on. Over the bleached bones and jumbled residues of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words, 'Too late.'
— Martin Luther King, Jr.

Do you ever put off today what you could do tomorrow, and then do the same thing the next day. We all do.

In the quote above, Martin Luther Kind, Jr. say, 'Procrastination is still the thief of time." And it's true.

Many of those I work with struggle with procrastination. And usually some sort of "perfectionism" underlies their failure to produce the results they truly want to create.

Some never finish their desired results because they fuss and fuss with the final details until they get bored and frustrated. But others never get started!

The Problem with Perfection
Some would-be creators find that getting started on creating a results is all but impossible because they refuse to make mistakes. They demand their actions be perfect. The are afraid to try anything new. This kind of perfectionism is a curse. It prevents learning, growth, and change. It keeps you rooted where you are, held in place by fear and inertia.

Such perfectionism often arises out of a perception that actions are performances to be judged, rather than experiments to be tried out, and learned from. And from the ideal that one must perform perfectly at all times.

Albert Ellis, the father of Rational Emotive Therapy (a precursor to cognitive behavioral therapy) stated that such “musturbating” was one of the main causes not only of inaction, but also of anxiety and depression. He advised against it, and against "shoulding on yourself others or the world." It is great to desire to do well, but thinking (demanding) that you must or should do well can get in the way of actually doing anything.

Those afflicted by perfectionism are likely to think anything less than a complete and successful action is unsatisfactory. Rather than take a step-by-step, create-and-adjust approach, they focus only on their vision of a result, and demand that they achieve it perfectly — the first time they try!

They are discouraged by the reality of a less than perfect performance. Even the thought of a less than perfect performance can put many off. Therefore, they don't act. They don't try.

And if you don't try, you're not likely to produce the result you want.

The Road to Good Enough Always Runs through Better
I find that most people's procrastination arises from those idealistic "shoulds" of perfectionism, and that nasty fear of a less-than-perfect performance.

One such client came to me because, among other things, she wanted to be a “great” guitar player. Nothing less would satisfy her, she told me. He father had taught her "if you're not willing to be great at something, don't bother."

She was stuck because she couldn't face the failure she felt when she actually tried to play.

Part of her difficulty arose because she lived in a co-op house with several music students. Two were exceptional guitar players. She was inspired by their virtuosity, but also intimidated. Every time she picked up a guitar she was struck by the gap between her current ability and her demand that she be “great.” She wasn't great, so, in her mind, she judged herself as "bad." She couldn't live with "bad," so she'd quit. Later, she become inspired and want to try again, but the same pattern held.

The music students tried to encourage her but to no avail.

Then she met a man she liked who played in a country-folk band. He had no formal music training, but played well enough to make a living at it. He showed her how to play a melodic folk song she liked using three simple chords. With a little practice and his gentle coaching, she could soon play the song and sing along while she played.

That's great, I said. No! she said. Now she was really confused.

She could play a song on the guitar, but she still wasn't good, let alone great. What, she wondered, was she?

One day, while she was practicing other songs that her new friend had shown her, it hit her — she was better! She'd been a bad guitar player (in her mind) but now she was better. From that day on, she stopped criticizing herself for not being good and focused on doing what it took to get better.

I agreed with her that her insight was useful. And I recommend she clearly specify what she meant by good and better. I urged her to craft a clear and compelling vision of the kind and quality of guitar player she wanted to be.

She decided she really wanted to be "good enough to play folk and country songs and jam with friends at parties.” Getting clear about her reasons dispelled the intimidation she'd felt when she compared herself to her musician housemates. She established her own vision and took steps to move toward it.

The road from where you are to where you want to be almost always runs through “better.”

Becoming successful at anything that matters to you is a step-by-step learning process. You rarely learn something new without mistakes and setbacks. If you try to make an all or nothing leap, too often you end up with nothing.

If you define mistakes as “failure,” you'll stop yourself dead in your tracks.

However, if you simply see failure as feedback, as an opportunity for learning and a step toward progress, you can, with patience, perseverance, and plenty of practice, produce the results you want. In the creative process, there is no failure, only feedback!
-----------------------------

VIDEO: 2 SHORT VIDS ON PROCRASTINATION
===========================================================
This first vid cracked me up. It rang so true to the times when I've procrastinated. It's only a minute long, at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P785j15Tzk

The second one features comedian Ellen Degeneres talking about procrastination and also cracked me up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU-0bF_sSas

Both videos will help you feel that, if you procrastinate, you're not alone. You're normal.
---------------------------

SELF-IMPROVEMENT GIVEAWAY IS IN IT'S LAST WEEK!
=====================================
Hundreds of folks like me and some big time self-improvement gurus are giving away books, coaching, audio tapes, DVDs — some of which you might find useful. This video will explain more about the giveway. Some folks have picked up great stuff for nothing; others found it a waste of time. It's up to you to sort out the good from the hype!

Check out the video here:
http://selfimprovementgifts5.com/go/1519/vid

Even if you don't want any free stuff, I get a point for everyone who clicks the link. And for every point I get, my offer is shown to others. If no one clicks, no one sees my offer. I don't get new subs. With clicks, I get points, and subs. So it's a kind of win-win situation.

And if you have to subscribe to get a gift, you can always unsubscribe as soon as you get it. Win-win-win!

I do have to grow my list, because, as with all newsletter, "churn" runs about 30% a year. Mine is less than average at 25%, but that still means that 25% of subscribers take my advide and focus on something more important than this newsletter.

I've got more new subscribers in the last 2 weeks from this giveaway than I have in the last 2 years, trying other means. So it's important to me to do it, even if some of you think I'm selling out. Isn't this better than selling you the newsletter?

So please click the link below, if only to help me get my free ebook in front of more people, and get more new subscribers.

http://selfimprovementgifts5.com/go/1519

Thank you. I appreciate your support!
-------------------–

QUOTABLE QUOTES:
===============
"Much of the stress that people feel doesn't come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they started."
~David Allen

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."
~Sally Berger

"I don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work."
~Pearl S. Buck

"Everything you accomplish you must first attempt. So get busy making those attempts. Procrastination and excuses do not lead to achievement. The way to make it happen is to make the attempt.

"How do you get yourself to make the attempt? By connecting that attempt, and the achievement it will ultimately bring, with a real and meaningful purpose deep within you.

"When you are clear about why you must do what you must do, you'll have no trouble finding the will and the commitment to step boldly forward. Make the attempt, as often as necessary, and you will surely make it happen."
~ Ralph Marston
-------------------

If you're interested in coaching, send me an email with "coaching info" in the subject line, and I'll send you my fr.ee 7-page info package. This could be your year to create the results you long for!

Have a great and flourishing week.

Cheers!
Bruce
THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND HELP. I APPRECIATE IT!!!

The Courage To Live Your Own Life, Fully!

2011-01-12T11:23:00.000-08:00

This Week's Focus:
"The Courage To Live Your Own Life, Fully!"

Welcome to "SIMPLY SUCCESS" - January 6, 2011
==========================================
Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work --
With Whatever Life Throws At You!

Bruce Elkin
Personal Life Coach, Success Coach, Executive Renewal Coach
-------------------------------------------------------------------------–-

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone
can start from now and make a brand new ending."
-- Carl Bard

Happy New Year! I hope you survived the festive season without having to let your belt out too far. It's a new year and in the past 3 days, I've been inundated with articles and newsletters about how to make good New Year's resolutions.

In the past, I've started the year with my article on how to "Turn Resolutions Into Reality". If you'd like to read that article, which includes "The 7 Skills With Which To Create Anything," you can do so by going to:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/newsletter/news_vol2_2.pdf

Also, the last three newsletter articles on rituals for getting started and strategies for building momentum will also help you craft and practice your new resolutions, and keep practicing them until your desired results come into reality. If you missed those articles, you can read them both in the archives, to the right.

This stuff works — if you practice it!

I continue to get fabulous feedback from readers who resonated with these articles.

"I always thought rituals were rigid and bad for you. Now I see that's only if they're imposed on you by you or others. I can also see how useful self-created rituals can be. Creating some new rituals of my own is helping me get strated, and move forward quickly."
– Gandler P., Seattle, WA

Here's a note from a subscriber who recently bought the Kindle version of Simplicity and Success, and reads the newsletter regularly:

"Thanks so much for your work. I'm an old hand at "get your life in shape" books from a variety of perspectives and am impressed. Better yet - I'm learning from it and using it to my advantage."
– Anne H., Boston, MA

And another note from a long-time subscriber and former client who has created great results using the stuff I write about:

"Just wanted to check in with you and tell you that I continue to build momentum and create results that matter to me. In the past year, I left my dull but safe government job (you know, the one I whine about so much!). I started my own small business helping people with messy homes and offices go beyond decluttering to creating the environments they most want to live and work in. Sound familiar?

"Yes! It's all the stuff I learned from you, and now I'm making my living with it.

"As well, I'm creating a wonderful relationship with a new partner and have created much better relationships with my two children. We're almost friends now. And, best of all, I got myself fit and strong and lean — and have stayed that way for the past 2 years.

"I love the newsletters. They give me an extra burst of momentum every week or two, and I continue to read and re-read my copies Simplicity Success and Creating Sustainable Success. The best self-help books on my shelf, and there's a lot. And I loved the bits on "rituals." Excellent! Thanks for all your help."
– Sandy McD., Vancouver, BC

Because you, too, are probably inundated with "make resolutions" advice this week, I thought I'd step back a a bit, and suggest to you think, really think, about what really matters to you.

What would you most like to create in life, work, relationships, health, fitness… whatever?

What would you want to create in order to live your own life, fully?

I'm talking about the kind of things that you'd usually say, "Yes, but…" to, and then talk yourself out of. The kinds of things that might take a little risk and courage.

A friend of mine was just in town to bury his 90 year old mother and he shared the following quotes from APPLE founder, Steve Job, who as many of you know, is battling cancer. I thought these quotes were quite inspiring and uplifting, even though on of them reminds us that we're all gonna die.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
- Steve Jobs

"Almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
- Steve Jobs

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."
- Steve Jobs (Written by the TBWA/Chiat/Da LA Team)

And, I thought I throw in this great excerpt from Dawna Markova's I Will Not Live An Unlived Life.

“I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible;
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.
- Dawna Markova,
from I Will Not Die An Unlived Life

So, knowing your time is limited and that many people live their whole lives without really living, what would you like to create, for yourself and for the world?

Next issue, I'll share some more ways to help you create what matters more easily, effectively and enjoyably.
-----------------------------

CAN COACHING HELP YOU CREATE DESIRED RESULTS?
========================================
> Feeling stuck, stalled or drifting? In transition? Not sure what's next?
Are you successful in some areas, but not in the one that matters most?
Thinking about self-employment but don't have a solid framework to guide you?
Not yet clear about what does really matter? Or what you do want to create?

I can help you clarify what you truly want to create. My coaching will help you set up an organizing framework that embraces vision and reality. It'll help you make good choices and take the actions that will make your dreams a reality – with whatever you have to work with! And it'll help you feel empowered, authentically confident, free and flourishing!

"I worked with Bruce for a little over four months. In that time, I got out of debt, found my dream job and created a relationship that I'm pretty sure is "the One." Bruce helped me develop new skills and a framework in which to apply them. And he kicked my butt to make sure I practiced what I learned. He's tough but gentle and held me accountable for my desires. Thanks, B!"
– S. Erikson, Toronto, Canada

"Bruce's coaching is practical and powerful. He helped me figure out what mattered to me, and held me accountable for taking the actions that are making it a reality. He can be tough, sometimes, but you always know he's got you and your results in mind. And the framework he works with means you can coach yourself when you're ready. I recommend Bruce highly.
– Lorna K., Victoria, BC

> I have space for 2 new clients in Jan/Feb. A new year; a new you?
Also, if you're interested in Feb/March, now is the time to chat with me!
If you're interested, e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject line.
I'll send my 7-page COACHING INFO PACKAGE. Also consider my fr.ee 45-minute consult.
-------------

VIDEO: 2 SHORT INTERVIEWS WITH ME ABOUT MY WORK
====================================================
If you want to see me answering questions about my work and my approach to coaching, here's two short vids done for me by ConversationWorks in Victoria, BC.

View them at:
http://conversationswithroger.blip.tv/file/3807485/

and

http://conversationswithroger.blip.tv/file/3807483/
---------------------------

GIANT SELF-IMPROVEMENT GIVEAWAY!
===========================
A couple of times a year, as a way of reaching out to potential subscribers and coaching clients, and to provide a useful service to some of you, I participate in this big self-improvement giveaway.

Hundreds of folks like me and some really big time self-improvement gurus are giving away books, coaching, audio tapes, DVDs — some of which you might find useful. This video will explain more about the giveway. It's up to you to sort out the good from the hype!

http://selfimprovementgifts5.com/go/1519/vid

Even if you don't want any free stuff, I get a point for everyone who clicks the link. And for every point I get, my offer is shown to others. If no one clicks, no one sees my offer. So it's a kind of win-win situation.

So please click the link below, if only to help me get my free ebook in front of more people.

http://selfimprovementgifts5.com/go/1519

Thank you. I appreciate your support!

I'll close with one more quote I think will inspire you.

"What if this year, we resolve to love who we are, where we are,
and every step of the journey to where we are going?"
- Mindy Audlin

Have a great and flourishing week.

Cheers!
Bruce
THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND HELP. I APPRECIATE IT!!!

Living Well; Living Deeply: Quotes for a New Year!

2011-01-01T13:18:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, all! I hope 2011 brings you elegant simplicity, success in creating what matters most to you. Here's a few quotes that I've found helpful in setting out the path and walking it.

"Our first teacher is our own heart."
~ Cheyenne proverb

"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Somewhere along the line we discover who we really are, and then make our real decisions for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

"You are a product of your environment. So choose the environment that will best develop you toward your objective. Analyze your life in terms of its environment. Are the things around you helping you toward success - or are they holding you back?"
-- W. Clement Stone

"The world canot be discovered by a journey of miles...only by a spiritual journey...by which we arrive at the ground at our feet, and learn to be at home."
~Wendell Berry

"Since death is certain and the time of death uncertain… what is the most important thing?"
–Pema Chodron

"Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living."
-Bruce Barton, American author

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."
-Lao Tzu, Chinese philospher

3 Quotes on Living Fully by Steve Jobs

2010-12-30T11:18:00.000-08:00

A friend passed these quotes on to me, on the occasion of his 90-year old mother's death.

I thought I'd pass them on to you. Worth reflecting on as you consider your New Year's plans.

"Almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
– Steve Jobs

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."
– Steve Jobs (Written by the TBWA/Chiat/Da L.A. Team)

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the
courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
– Steve Jobs

Happy Solstice Everyone!

2010-12-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

Wow! Huge full moon last night and this morning. Too cloudy to view the eclipse, but the moon at 5 am was glorious!

The light is coming back! The light is coming back! Definitely something to celebrate!

"Celebration is a ritual through which we honour our blessings!"
– Salerno

Happy Solstice, everyone. And I hope you have a wonderful festive season - whatever traditions you celebrate!

See you in the New Year!

All the best!
Bruce

Momentum! The MIssing Key to Creating Real and Lasting Results!

2010-12-21T10:50:00.000-08:00

This Week's Focus:
"Momentum! The MIssing Key to Real and Lasting Results!"

Some of our most trying difficulties are caused by plain old inertia. Inertia shows itself in not wanting to move, not wanting to act -- in other words, in wanting to be a stone just lying on the road. It is all right for a stone to be inert; that is its role in life. But it is not all right for you and me to just lie down and try to avoid problems, saying, "What does it matter?"
– Mahatma Ghandi

Beautiful sunny morning, here on the west coast of Canada - after a couple of days of heavy rain and winds. The November storms! You can count on them. But even the pounding rain and almost frightening wind can be exciting - and energizing - if you dress right.

I live near the ocean, and like to walk down to the edge and experience the awesome power of the big waves breaking over the seawall. Wow! Be nice to harness that power, somehow.

In the last two issues, I've showed how setting up rituals - simple, easy to do habits — can make creating results simple, easy and effective." If you missed those articles, they are archived on the right.

I continue to get fabulous feedback from readers who resonated with these articles. Here's a note from a subscriber who used the info in the article to make wonderful changes.

"Hi, Bruce. Just wanted to let you know that I've started using rituals as you suggest. I set up rituals for my fitness routines. I set up rituals for putting first things first at work. And I've set up rituals to help me with my meditation, simplifying my life, and be grateful for what I have. AND everything is changing! I'm taking action. I'm creating results. I feel freer and energized and satisfied with my days. This stuff really works. Thanks!"
— E.M. Butra, Calgary, AB

So the last 2 weeks were about how to get started. This week is about how to keep going — the key ingredient that separates successful doers in all walks of life from the dabbling wannabes. Enjoy!

Building Momentum, Creating Success

The motivation industry would have you believe that motivation
alone is what gets you success. But it won't.

Momentum– energy generated by moving – will get you through times
of no motivation better than motivation will get through times of no
momentum.

Build momentum by taking action. Learn from results and take new
action. Actions lead to successes, and a pattern of success leads
to momentum.

Even mistakes can lead to momentum. In "creating," setbacks
increase the energy of creative tension and make it easier to act.
After a setback, clarify vision, describe current reality, and
choose action that supports your result. Then take it, note your
results, make adjustments, and try again…

Innovate. Improvise. Play around and see what emerges. Come at it
from a different angle. Or, do more research; develop new skills.
Keep moving. Build momentum.

Three Main Ways To Keep Momentum Building.
1) Take action. It's easier to change direction and correct
mistakes when moving than to lose momentum, and have to start
again from a dead stop.

When I stuck or can't get started (not motivated, don't feel like it)
I'll often juggle for 5 or 10 minutes.

The action gets me moving, and once I'm moving, I find it easier to
transfer that movement to what I want to work on. Great cure for
writer's block!

2) Know your next steps. Get materials in place for the next phase
of your creation, even as you work on the current stage. When you
finish one phase, you're ready to move on to the next. Momentum
builds.

3) Describe reality objectively. Following setbacks, don't say, "
I'm a klutz. There's no point." Such negative judgments destroy
momentum.

In Simplicity and Success, I describe how an executive team on a
mountain retreat learned to change judgments into descriptions by
adding "yet" to "I can't do this."

When stymied, add "yet" to your description of the situation. "I
can't do it, yet." "I don't have the money, yet." "I don't have the
skill, yet."

See the difference? Adding yet opens you to possibilities you may.
It adds hope; it builds momentum.

The Power of Momentum: A Fifteen Minute Test
Like any author, I sometimes find it challenging to practice what I
preach. But, when I do, I get results like those I describe below.
I wrote the following one morning when couldn't get started on a
different piece:

Thanksgiving morning. A good time to write. No interruptions. No
calls. I'm alone. The house is quiet.. Nothing to do but write.
But, "Nooo!" an inner voice whines, "I don't feel like writing. I'm
tired. It's a holiday. I shouldn't have to work."

I'm confused. My head says I want to write; but the rest of me says
"No, I have nothing to say. I'm not in the mood. I don't feel like
it."

I'd pushed hard to finish a short story for a contest. Now I'm in a
lull. I've got stuff to revise, but I want to write something new.
"Just write," I tell myself. "Put words on paper." But self says
"that's a waste of time." I make myself a pot of tea and flip on
the TV.

A talk show about aliens reminds me of Ray Bradbury, the science
fiction writer who told wannabe writers, "If you want be a writer,
write a million words."

I switch off the TV. Putting words on paper, even bad words, moves
me closer to my million. Closer to being the writer I want to be.
Quality will emerge from quantity.

I go back to my desk and start writing.

But, halfway through the first page, I feel stuck. "This is crap,"
sneers my judgmental self. "You should write better than this." I
delete, and get up from my chair, unable to face my limitations.

I discover an abundance of reasons not to write. My wrist aches, so
do my forearms and back. I'm not inspired. "Why not read a book on
writing? says self "Maybe that'll inspire you."

No? Maybe a diversion? Go to the Cafe; make notes. No! Too much
like writing. I feel like going to the pub for a beer, but
it's 9 AM. Frustrated, I pace the hallway outside my office.

What to do? What to do?

The Fifteen Minute Test
Before I invented The Fifteen Minute Test, I would have succumbed
to my conflicted feelings. I would have figured out a way to quit.
Now, I do an experiment, a test. I choose to write for fifteen
minutes, even if only about not wanting to write. This simple test
led to great results.

I use this momentum-building technique to overcome depressing
moods that used to get in the way of creating results. Not only in
writing, but in all areas of my life and work.

I came it by from two disparate sources: my experience as a runner,
and a quote about mood from writer Joyce Carol Oates. In a Paris
Review interview, Oates said,:

One must be pitiless about this matter of 'mood.' In a sense the
writing will create the mood. Generally I have found this to be
true: I have forced myself to begin writing when I've been utterly
exhausted, when I've felt my soul as thin as a playing card, when
nothing has seemed worth enduring for another five minutes and
somehow the activity of writing changes everything.

Activity sustained creates momentum – the missing ingredient that
separates the successful from the wannabes!

As a runner facing daily training runs, I often struggled with the
I want to, but I don't feel like it dilemma. Sometimes, I'd come
from work frustrated and fatigued. I'd say to my wife, "I'm too
tired to run today. I'm gonna put my feet up and have a Scotch."

A frown would work its way across her face. "Go for your run,
honey," she'd plead. "It always makes you feel better."

She was right. But the prospect of pounding pavement for ten or
more miles on a damp, chilly evening felt overwhelming. "There's no
way!" I'd say. "I couldn't run two miles tonight, let alone ten, so
what's the point?"

I'd work myself into an all-or-nothing conundrum. Run it all, or
stay home, and drink Scotch. The Scotch was easy, convenient, and
immediately pleasurable. It often won out.

Sometimes, when I really didn't feel like running, I'd play my Ace
of Health.

"I feel I'm coming down with something," I'd whine. "Maybe I should
rest, have a wee dram for medicinal purposes."

One night, having just played that ace, I was about to open the
Glenfiddich, when a voice in my head said, "Why don't you check it
out?"

"What? Check out what?"

"Check out whether you really are fatigued," the voice said. "Maybe
your blood sugar's just low. Try running for fifteen minutes. See
what happens."

"Fifteen minutes?" I said.

"That's what its to get take your blood sugar up to normal," said
the voice. If you don't feel better, perhaps there is something
wrong. Then quit, walk home, and have a drink without guilt. See it
as an experiment."

"An experiment? Huh!" I fingered the cap on the bottle. "What could
it hurt?"

I left the Scotch on the counter, just in case. Then I changed,
stretched,band slipped into my rain suit. Outside, I lumbering
toward the park. Night was coming; the early autumn air was cool
and damp. Clouds hung in treetops. My muscles ached. I had no
energy. Each step jarred my head. "This, I thought," turning into
the park, "is a mistake."

I labored around the cinder path, scanning every muscle, organ, and
nerve ending for signs of illness or injury. Instead, I felt myself
relaxing. After fifteen minutes, I felt a surge of energy.

As Icame out onto the trail along the bluff, momentum built with each
step. I felt the cares of the day slip away. I stretched out my stride,
picked up my pace. "I'll go another fifteen minutes," I said.
"See how it goes."

I didn't check my watch again for over an hour. I ran all the way
to the footbridge, crossed the river, powered up and down the hilly
trails that criss-crossed a Douglas Fir forest. Dropped down to the
river path and ran hard to the island. I giggled as I walked home.
I'd just run twelve miles! And felt great.

I'd also taught myself a valuable lesson. Now, whenever I don't
feel like doing what I do want to do, I try a Fifteen Minute Test
to see if my mood shifts, if momentum leads to motivation. If it
doesn't, I try another fifteen minutes, or give it up and do
something else.

Nine out of ten times I keep going. The activity does change
everything. Often I surprise myself with results like the
twelve-mile run. Moreover, on those rare occasions when I do quit,
I feel no guilt. I checked it out. I know quitting's right. And
because of that, the Scotch tastes much better.

About Thanksgiving morning?

It took me less than an hour to write the first draft of this
piece. Then I switched to the project that had me stumped. The
momentum I'd produced with this piece fueled a full, productive and
satisfying day of writing. And got me a couple of thousand words
closer to my first million.

So, yes, motivation is important. But so is momentum.

When in doubt, or scared, or stuck - do something, anything. The
momentum you generate will to renewed motivation, increased energy
and results you can build on.

That's what successful folks do!
-----------------------------

CAN COACHING HELP YOU CREATE DESIRED RESULTS?
========================================
> Feeling stuck, stalled or drifting? In transition? Not sure what's next? Or why?
Do you feel you're successful in some areas, but not in what matters most?
Does the complexity sweeping over all of us frighten you? Stress you?
Thinking about venturing in self-employment but don't have a solid
organizing framework to guide your thinking and doing???

> Would you like to do more with less, create desired results and integrate life and work?

> I can help you clarify what you to create. My coaching helps you set up an organizing framework that embraces vision and reality. It helps you act to make dreams a reality – with whatever you have to work with! And it helps you feel empowered, authentically confident, free and flourishing!

"I worked with Bruce for a little over four months. In that time, I got out of debt, found my dream job and created a relationship that I'm pretty sure is "the One." Bruce helped me develop new skills and a framework in which to apply them. And he kicked my butt to make sure I practiced what I learned. He's tough but gentle and held me accountable for my desires. Thanks, B!"
– S. Erikson, Toronto, Canada

> I have space for 4 new clients in Jan/Feb. A new year; a new you?
If you're interested, e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject line.
I'll send my 7-page COACHING INFO PACKAGE.
Also consider my fr.ee 45-minute consult.
Email: Bruce@BruceElkin.com
-------------

VIDEO: "A HARMONICA IN CARNEGIE HALL!"
===========================================================
If this short, uplifting video doesn't lift your sprits, check your pulse!

Notice how the player starts small, with simple riffs and builds momentum with each new bit, finally achieving the crescendo that brings the audience to their feet.
Impressive. Do check it out!

View it at: http://www.wimp.com/harmonicacarnegie/
---------------------------

QUOTABLE QUOTES
========================================
"One way to create momentum is by creating a series of small successes. So pick small goals, goals that are easy to create and then create them. Think of each success you create as a warm up exercise for bigger creations. Just like musicians practice and athletes practice, practice creating. All of the things you create will give you even more skill and more momentum."
– Robert Fritz

" The world is wide, I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum."
–Frances Willard

"There's an overhead of starting and an overhead of stopping a project because you kind of lose your momentum. And you've got to bracket and put aside all the things you're already doing."
– Bill Joy

"Success comes from taking the initiative and following up... persisting... eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?"
– Tony Robbins

"When you're ... successful, things have a momentum, and at a certain point you can't really tell whether you have created the momentum or it's creating you.
– Annie Lennox

"Success requires first expending ten units of effort to produce one unit of results. Your momentum will then produce ten units of results with each unit of effort."
– Charles J. Givens
----------------

I'll be taking a break from this Friday, Dec 17 to January 4, 2011. But I will respond to requests for coaching info. If you're interested in my Coaching Info Package, or my fr.ee 45-minute chat, please email me.

Also, if you have some time, you could give me a great Christmas present by sending friends to my blog (see below) or posting the blog URL or the "Free Ebook" URL on your Facebook page. (also see below)

These things make a HUGE difference in subscriber numbers, which frankly could use a bit of help right now. I'd really appreciate it.

Thank you, and have a wonderful Christmas and festive season, whatever your traditions.
Cheers!
Bruce

3 WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THIS BLOG/NEWSLETTER – AND ME!
===============================================
I've been sending out the newsletter for nearly 8 years. And it's all self-supported.
No ads. No affiliates. No begging for money. (OK, I tried that, and it didn't work.)
I love doing this, because I love writing. And I love your feedback, good or bad: it's all good!

So the main way you can support me is to send comments and other feedback. I take them all to heart, and post some of them so others can read them.

AND I'D REALLY LOVE YOU TO HELP ME GET THE WRITING OUT TO MORE FOLKS!
Here's a couple of ways that you can support me, and my writing — and gain my undying appreciation!

1) SIMPLE, EASY WAYS TO SHARE ARTICLES AND/OR THE NEWSLETTER:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>In spite of the great feedback I've been getting on recent articles, our subscriber total has dropped. ;-(

Please help me get it growing again!

If you enjoy these posts, please, please, please pass them along to friends and colleagues.
A simple, easy way to do it is to just send them the link to my blog:

http://createwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com/

The current newsletter's feature article is usually posted within a week. Thanks!

I also have back issues and articles archived on the blog, and at
http://www.bruceelkin.com/writer.html
and
on Hub Pages at http://hubpages.com/profile/Bruce+Elkin

> Did someone forward you this newsletter?
Subscribe here, and get your own delivered every 2 weeks.
AND a free copy of my new ebook Staying Up In Down Times and Beyond!
-------

2 ) YOU CAN SUPPORT ME BY HELPING ME GIVE AWAY MY FREE E-BOOK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My 90-page e-book Staying Up In Down Times & Beyond! is about taking what life throws at you, and using it as raw material with which to create what you most want in life and work.

"Bruce's approach goes beyond coping with hard times. He helps you embrace life's complexity, and use it as raw material to create results. ... I use some of Bruce's tools and can testify to their power."
—Vicki Robin
Million-Selling Coauthor of Your Money Or Your Life

It's free. And you can share it with friends, family, colleagues . . . whoever you think would appreciate it. Just send them this link:

http://www.bruceelkin.com/staying-up-e-book.html

>Also, every time one of you posts the link on Facebook, 10 to 30 people grab the free offer, and sign up for the newsletter. So, please do post the link on Facebook. You can also post it on Twitter, LinkedIn, Digg, etc… It all helps. Thanks!!!
------–

3) YOU CAN SUPPORT ME BY BUYING MY BOOKS AND E-BOOKS! THINK GIFTS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I have one thing to say after reading Simplicity and Success. WONDERFUL!"
- Eartheasy Magazine

I have more info and testimonials about Simplicity and Success: Creating the Life You Long For and the follow-up ebooks on my website. Please check it out!
Go to: http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity.html
------

THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT AND HELP. I APPRECIATE IT!!!
----------------------------
Copyright (c) 2010 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.
--------------------

Creating Habits; Creating Lasting Success

2010-11-23T10:40:00.000-08:00

This Week's Focus:
"RITUALS/Pt 2: HOW TO CREATE RESULTS SIMPLY AND EASILY!"

"First steps are hard . . . It's vital to establish some rituals – automatic
but decisive patterns of behavior – at the beginning of the creative
process, when you are most at peril of turning back, chickening out,
giving up, or going the wrong way."
– Twyla Tharp

Hi All,
In the last issue, I talked about "setting up rituals that make creating results simple, easy and effective." If you missed it, you can read it on my blog: http://createwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com/

Here's a note from a new subscriber that touts the usefulness of that piece. It's in response to a request to share how she found me.

"Believe it or not, I found out about you from a friend who lives in Australia! The irony is I live in Vancouver.

"She sent me a newsletter you had written on Rituals: Make Results Simple and Easy to Create and it really resonated with me. Making a resolution to lose weight, or exercise, or save money, or find a new job, are such large enormous steps ... your article really pointed out how creating the small ritual can help make the big thing happen. So thank you for that!

"I love it how a friend halfway across the world, tells me about a guy across the pond! Looking forward to learning more about your approach."
– K. K., Vancouver, BC

So last week was about "why rituals?" This week is about "how." 5 key steps can help you set up rituals that help you get started, keep moving and follow through to completed results.

RITUALS - PART 2: KEYS TO CREATING EFFECTIVE RITUALS

New research shows that as little as 5 percent of our behaviour is consciously self-directed. "95 percent, say Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, "occurs automatically or in reaction to a demand or an anxiety."

We are creatures of habit. To create what we really want, we have to change habitual patterns.

Instead of relying on unconscious habits to guide daily behaviours, we do best when we consciously develop supportive habits and routines that become automatic. Fueled by conscious desire and a clear sense of purpose, such habits – rituals – can help us more easily create the results we want.

Rituals help on four levels.

1) They help us manage our time, effort and resources in support of what we want to create.

2) They reduce the draw on our precious conscious processing abilities (7 +/- 2 bits of info at a time!).

3) They make it less likely that we'll try to force change, using our limited will, or, worse conflict.

4) Rituals are a powerful way to align visions, values and priorities with daily actions.

So, how do you set up such rituals, and make them automatic habits?

Five Steps To Set Up Simple, Easy Rituals

1) Give Your Self Short Assignments!

Don't bite off more than you can chew. You'll choke, and likely quit.

Writing teachers recommend you don't try to do an entire article or story at one go. "Write the first paragraph, or just the first sentence," they suggest.

When my clients start to craft visions of end results, I suggest they ask, "What do I want to create? Why do I want it? What would it look and feel like if I created it."

The first question is easy to answer. The second a little harder, and the third harder still. But answering the first and second make answering the third question easier, simpler.

As well, before they write out a formal answer to the third question, I suggest using "a vision crafting cluster" – a simple mind-mapping technique – to map the key elements of their result, and a few details.

The easy questions and the cluster get them going. They build momentum. They make it easier to draft a vision. Then as they revise that draft,they gradually shape it into a clear, compelling word picture (vision) of a desired result.

I made this process into a ritual with which I begin each new creating project, each new writing project.

So start small, succeed at easy steps, build momentum and use the energy and confidence you create to scale up to larger, more complex steps. That way, you make the complex simple!

Also, don't take on too many new tasks at one time. Create one or two rituals at a time. Too many will overwhelm you and lead to frustration, lack of energy and … not success!

The time it takes to create a new ritual is not fixed; it's dependent on the complexity of the new behaviour. The more complex it is, the longer it'll take to wire it in. And wiring is key.

As the old African proverb cautions, "Knowledge is just a rumour until it gets into your muscles."

2) Be Precise and Specific About Your Rituals

Rituals Are Best Performed In "Ritual Space."

That doesn't mean a church or a temple. It can be any place that has meaning for you. For Twyla Tharp, a "ritual space" was the back seat of a NYC cab.

One of my clients tried for weeks to find a place to practice creating. A father of two kids under 5, married to a high-powered professional, their lives were so busy he couldn't fit in 15 minutes of practice a day.

Then, one day he missed the memo that a blizzard was imminent and people should stay off the roads. He sailed down an empty freeway, arriving at work 15 minutes early. He knew that if he went up to the office, he'd get sucked into the day's talk about markets and what was happening in Japan and London.

So, he stayed where he was, in a warm, heated, well-lighted underground garage. He had all his creating work in his briefcase. He had mellow music on the CD player. And he had a full cup of coffee he'd brought from home. Perfect set-up. And it worked.

Thereafter, he managed to leave home 5-7 minutes early without upsetting his wife, and snuck in 5 -7 minutes late at work. He carved out a daily 15-minute practice ritual, in a specific, ritual space.

Be Precise About When And Where!

Research reported by Tony Schwartz shows that people who merely say they are going to complete a task — a college essay, or a jogging program … — are less likely to follow through to completion than those who set a specific time and place to practice their ritual. Those who set precise times and places to do their tasks or practice were up to 8 times more successful than those didn't.

And, the more complex the task/creation you're working on, the more important is precision and specificity.

Sometimes, you need to set very hard times and stick to them. When I was first writing Simplicity and Success, I floundered, made little progress. Then I got specific and precise.

I chose to write from 9 to 12 each morning. I set up another desk in my office dedicated to this project. I gathered all my materials so they were close at hand. And I set myself a precise target of 1000 words a day.

I eased into this new ritual slowly. I'd go to my room and sit at my desk, but, at first, I didn't write. I was scared, or tired, or bored, or nothing seemed to be worth writing. But I sat there from 9 to 12, with a 10 minute break mid-way, mostly doodling and flipping through books and magazines I'd marked up.

After a few days of sitting and not writing, I decided to vent my frustration by writing about not being able to write. After 15 minutes, I felt warmed up. Ideas appeared and I wrote them down. Gradually, I went from writing about 30 minutes out of that 3 hours to writing or editing almost the whole time. (With breaks!)

Within a month, all I had to do was go to my room, sit at my desk, and let the words flow. That's the power of precision and specificity.

3. Your Ritual Should Focus On Something Positive That You Do

It is critical that you work toward something you want, not away from something you don't want.

Most diets, for example, focus on getting rid of unwanted pounds. Decluttering focuses on getting rid of clutter. But what we resist persists!

Focus on what you want to achieve: "A fit, healthy body with energy to spare," or "A spare bedroom with a warm, inviting and minimalist feel, with just a few things, all in their proper place."

Don't focus on what you don't want. Do focus on creating what you do want!

I have an unhealthy tendency to get over-excited in conversation and interrupt others. To help me create the result I want — mutual understanding and respect – I'm learning to activate the ritual of taking a deep breath just when I feel the urge to blurt out.

Instead of trying to "stop" interrupting, learning to pause and breathe is something I can work toward. It's positive, gives me time to think about what I want to say, and makes my conversations more rich, and engaging.

4. Expect "Resistance"

At the beginning of doing almost anything new, you will encounter inertia, resistance, a threshold of effort you must surmount to get moving on your result.

Just understanding that a threshold exists goes a long way to helping you get beyond the inertia that keeps you on the couch watching re-runs of Ellen.

One key reason why rituals help so much is that they're simple, easy and repetitive. Because you can do them, they give you a sense of comfort and confidence, and that helps you take the action that gets over the threshold of change.

Also, we fear change.

"What if I can't do this?" "What if I fail" "What if people think I'm a loser?"

Part of the creating process is to identify the fears, and objectify them. Instead of saying "I'm afraid…" say, "I have a fear that …" This simple grammatical shift turns the fear into an object you can examine.

You can ask, "Is this fear realistic? True? Absolutely true?" You can turn it around in your mind, look at from different perspectives. You can do the same with long-held beliefs that get in your way.

I had, for example, a client who was failing to do her creating practice, and, thus, making little progress in creating what mattered to her. In one of our chats, she said, "Well, I am just a lazy person!" as if that explained it all. Then, out of the blue, she added, "But I knock myself out for other people."

I pointed out that one of those statements had to be false. She was stunned at first, but gradually thought through what she was saying, and came up with a more functional statement.

"When I'm doing things for others, I have lots of energy and am willing to knock myself out to help them. But when I'm doing things for myself, I say I'm lazy and then don't do it. So saying I'm lazy is just an excuse, a thought that doesn't support my desired results."

I agreed. I helped her make a list of times when she'd knocked herself our for herself. She'd done a lot, but mostly disregarded it. Armed with this list, I helped her practice a new thought,"When I want to, I knock myself out - for others and myself."

She made a ritual out catching herself ruminating on her fears, and then examining them objectively. Her creating practice became consistent, and results followed!

5. Enlist the Support of Others

You might create results alone, but it's easier and often better to get support from others. People who sign up for a half-marathon together are much more likely to complete it. Writer's form writing groups to gain support and new ideas and to try out their writing on a knowledgeable yet critical audience.

Whether, it's a buddy, or a loose group of friends, or a tightly ritualized support group, research shows that having someone - even a coach! - to hold you accountable for your dreams makes it much more likely that you will achieve those dreams.

6. Keep It Fresh (The Bonus Key!)

Don't let your rituals get old and out of date. Instead of helping you, then, they hinder you.

After the first part of this piece, I got a note from a reader saying:

"Thanks for this. When I took a look, I realized I had lots of rituals that I'd put in place years ago. And, they'd worked, for a while. But over time, they became habits with no meaning. I think it's time I do a little ritual housecleaning, and create some new habits focused on getting me toward what I want to create now."

I couldn't have said it any better!
-------------------—

CAN COACHING HELP YOU CREATE DESIRED RESULTS?
========================================
> Feeling stuck, stalled or drifting? In transition? Not sure what's next? Or why?
Do you feel you're successful in some areas, but not in what matters most?
Does the complexity sweeping over all of us frighten you? Stress you?

> Would you like to simplify: do more with less, create desired results and integrate life and work?

> Coaching helps you clarify what you to create. It helps you set up an organizing framework that embraces vision and reality. It helps you act to make dreams a reality – with whatever you have to work with! And by doing so, it helps you feel empowered, authentically confident, free and flourishing!

"I worked with Bruce for a little over four months. In that time, I got out of debt, found my
dream job and created a relationship that I'm pretty sure is "the One." Bruce helped me develop new skills, habits and a
framework in which to apply them. And he kicked my butt to make sure I practiced what I learned, and made those skills into
habits. He's tough but gentle and held me accountable for my desires. Thanks, B!"
– S. Erikson, Toronto, Canada

> I have space for 1 new client in Nov/Dec.
And I'm booking for Jan/Feb. A new year; a new you?
If you're interested, e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject line.
I'll send my 7-page COACHING INFO PACKAGE.
Also consider my fr.ee 45-minute consult.
-------------

VIDEO: TONY SCHWARTZ ON RITUALS, AND WHY THE WAY WE WORK ISN'T WORKING!
====================================================
Tony is the author of "The Way We Are Working Isn't Working" and the guy I learned most of what I know about rituals from. In this 2 min video, he tells us how to optimize our energy by using rituals. Great stuff!

View it at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rd6huAvMc4
---------------------------

QUOTABLE QUOTES
========================================
"Healthy rituals straddle the territory between the comfort of the past and the challenge of the future. Used to best advantage, rituals provide a source of security and consistency without thwarting change or undermining flexibility."
– Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz

"Habit is necessary; it is the habit of having habits, of turning a trail into a rut, that must be incessantly fought against if one is to remain alive."
- Edith Wharton

"Good habits are as addictive as bad habits, and a lot more rewarding."
– Harvey Mackay

"Creativity is not just for artists. . . . I will keep stressing the point about creativity being augmented by routine and habit. Get used to it. . . . creativity is a habit, and the best creativity is a result of good work habits. that's it in a nutshell."
– Twyla Tharp

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not a singular act, but a habit."
– Aristotle
----------------

Remember, if you're interested in my Coaching Info Package, or my fr.ee 45-minute chat, please email me.
I'd love to talk with you about creating what truly matters to you.

Have a simple yet rich, joyful and flourishing week.
Cheers!
Bruce

RITUALS CAN MAKE RESULTS SIMPLE AND EASY TO CREATE!

2010-11-10T13:40:00.000-08:00

This Week's Focus:
"RITUALS THAT MAKE RESULTS SIMPLE AND EASY TO CREATE!"

Begin and end your writing sessions with routines to demarcate work time. Writing rituals can range from tidying your desk, to reading inspirational quotes, to listening to a favorite song. Use your imagination to create a personal way to start and finish each day.
– Mary McKinney

Hi All,
It's fall on the souther tip of Vancouver Island on Canada's far west coast. Heavy rains and wind the other day. Then sun. And now, it looks as if another storm off the Pacific is gathering strength. Still, in spite of the ups and downs of the weather I endeavour to maintain my fitness rituals. Indeed, I try harder in the fall and winter because that's when, like a big old bear, I'm prone to pack on the pounds.

So I pay more attention to my morning walks, my between-client movement breaks and walks, and my late afternoon long walk, or bike ride. These things are nearly automatic now, after many years of practicing them. So, I have come to think of them as "my fitness practice." And that practice serves me well.

In this issue and next, I thought I'd share a bit about the importance of rituals in creating simple yet rich success in life and work.

Rituals: Making Results Simple and Easy To Create

Twyla Tharp, choreographer par excellence and author of The Creative Habit, begins every morning with a simple ritual. After getting up, dressing for dance, she walks outside, hails a cab and asks the driver to take her to her gym, where she works out for 2 hours before joining her dancers.

"The ritual," she says is not the workout. "The ritual is the cab. The moment I tell the driver where to go, I have completed the ritual."

No agonizing over should I stay in bed, should I go to the little coffee place instead, should I . . .?
Nope, just get in the cab, give the driver the gym address, then sit back and relax.

Her small, easy-to-do act – habitualized through practice – made a complex choice simple.

My Own Simple Ritual For Working Out Easily

I didn't know it at the time, but I, too, created a simple but powerful ritual to help me work out, and get fit.

I used to work at Simon Fraser University. At the end of day, I'd drive down the mountain, across the bridge and swing left, up the cut, to my home in North Vancouver. But although I lived just a few of blocks from an community centre with the best fitness gear, and intended to use it, I didn't.

I'd think, "I'm too tired today. I think I'll have a Scotch." Faced with the choice between walking to the centre and working against resistance for 40 minutes or putting my feet up and having a Scotch, the Scotch usually won out.

Then I discovered a rec centre that I could access by turning right off the bridge. Packed with cars, buses and big trucks, it was hard to change lanes on that high-speed, 6-lane bridge. So to make the turn, I had to get in the right hand lane early. That became my ritual.

As I came off the mountain and turned on to freeway, I chose to "stay in the right hand lane." That's all. Nothing about choosing to go for a workout, or swimming or pushing weights. Just "stay in the right hand lane." Easy. Simple. Done.

The right lane looped me on to a road that led up to the rec centre. There, I could decide to go in and workout, or, sometimes, just walk the cedar chip trail in the woods. Nine times out of ten, I'd work out. Occasionally, I'd walk the trail, decide I was too tired and then drive home and have a Scotch. All along the way, I made only small, easy decisions, and took simple, easy-to-do actions. By doing so I made a complex choice simple. And created a successful result!

Making the first steps of complex actions simple is key to creating successful results. Simple, easy rituals get us going, and build the momentum that keeps us going.

"It's vital, "say Tharp, "to establish some rituals – automatic but decisive patterns of behavior – at the beginning of the creative process, when you are most at peril of turning chickening out, giving up, or going the wrong way.

Examples of Simple, Easy Rituals

Here's some other examples of rituals used by successful creators to jump start their process:

Beethoven started each day with a morning walk during which he scribbled musical ideas and notes into a pocket sketchbook. Then, on a roll, he'd return to his room and work.

Golfers, tennis players or b-ball players have simple rituals that they've done thousands of times in practice – wagging the club, plucking the strings of the racquet or bouncing the ball a certain number of times. Doing so makes the first steps of the sequence automatic. It builds momentum and replaces fear and doubt with routine and comfort.

Tharp tells of a hard-nosed, pragmatist "with not a spiritual bone in his body" who does yoga each morning to relieve back pain. He starts each 90-minute session by lighting a candle as a ceremonial and symbolic gesture that he's taking his practice seriously. "Candle. Click. Yoga." says Tharp. "An automatic three-step call and response mechanism that anchors his morning. When he's done, he blows out the candle and goes on with the rest of his day.

Sometimes the ritual is a way of shifting out of one way of being in the world to another way – one more conducive to creating.

One of my writing teachers, a novelist, taught 5 courses a week at a college in the US west. As well, he singlehandedly raised an adopted son who suffered from "fetal alcohol syndrome."

When Craig returned from a long day, he got dinner ready for him and his son, spent time with the boy talking about his day, dealing with issues and seeing that homework got done. Often, they did "homework" side by side, Craig grading composition papers while his son worked on school assignments. By the time he got the boy to bed, Craig was weary – "wiped!"

But he still wanted to write for a couple of hours before bed. Although not normally a drinker, Craig's ritual was to pour himself two small glasses of Scotch and take them to his desk. He quickly drank the first glass, and relaxed into writing. The second glass he sat on shelf beside his desk, and rarely drank.

"The point of the Scotch," he told me, "was to create a break from my role as teacher/father to that of writer. It wasn't alcohol I wanted; it was the shift in attitude and perception. Drinking one glass achieved that. Not drinking the other reminded me I was not a drinker."

Craig's simple ritual had a powerful effect. His novel Winterkill was highly praised by reviewers and won the Pacific Northwest Booksellers Association award.

So simple rituals are important to your success.

Next time, I'll outline five steps for creating rituals that can help you make complex choices and actions simple, easy-to-do and successful.

But, for now, I suggest you survey your own life and work, looking for rituals that you may have already put into place. Making them conscious will make them more effective.
-------------------—

CAN COACHING HELP YOU CREATE DESIRED RESULTS?
========================================
> Are you stuck, stalled or drifting? In transition?
Not sure what truly matters? Or why?

Are you successful in some areas, but not those that matters most?

Does the chaos of change sweeping over us frighten you? Stymie you? Stress you?

> Would you like to do more with less, create results and integrate life and work?

> If so, coaching help you clarify what you want to create. It can help you set up an organizing framework that embraces vision and reality. And it can help you take then action to make your dreams a reality – with whatever life gives you to work with!

"With Bruce as my coach, my life and work have become simpler
yet my results - fitness, income, health . . . - have gotten better."
– Danielle Vickers, BC, Canada

> I have space for 2 new clients in Nov/DEC.
If you're interested, please e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject line.

I'll send my 7-page COACHING INFO PACKAGE. Also consider my fr.ee 45-minute consult.
-------------

VIDEO: A WRITER TALKS ABOUT HER RITUALS
==================================================
This weeks video is a short Q & A with writer Kresley Cole, in which she describes some of the rituals that help her get started and keep working on her writing. Quite funny in places. (2+ mins)
View it at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqTgA7eUnL0
---------------------------

QUOTABLE QUOTES
====================================
“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.”
– Mike Murdock

I have found that it does not help, in the long run, to begin my inquiries from the standpoint of the world as a problem to be solved. I am more effective, quite simply, as long as I can retain the spirit of inquiry of the everlasting beginner.
- David Cooperrider

When we are mindless, our behavior is rule and routine governed... In contrast, when mindful, our behavior may be guided rather than governed by rules and routines, but we are sensitive to the ways the situation changes. ”
– Ellen Langer

"Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Novelists do not write as birds sing, by the push of nature. It is part of the job that there should be much routine and some daily stuff on the level of carpentry.”
– William S. Golding
----------------

Remember, if you're interested in my Coaching Info Package, or my fr.ee 45-minute chat, please email me. I'd love to talk with you about what truly matters to you.

Have a simple yet rich, joyful and flourishing week.
Cheers!
Bruce

AND THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT AND HELP.
I APPRECIATE IT!!!
----------------------------
Copyright (c) 2010 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.
--------------------

Build Momentum; Create What Matters Most!

2010-10-14T10:58:00.000-07:00

This Week's Focus:
"BUILD MOMENTUM; CREATE WHAT TRULY MATTERS!"

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important
as what you become by achieving your goals."
- Zig Ziglar

Hi all,
Can you believe it? We're into the last quarter of this year; less than 90 days until New Years!

For many it's a busy time, rushing, pushing, shoving things into place, trying to get ready for Thanksgiving (here in Canada, this weekend, and later, in November, in the US). Then Christmas and other holidays coming up quickly. Rush, rush, rush! Whew! But, are you building momentum and creating what matters most?

But, whoa! This is a good time to slow and take stock of what you have done so far, to note what you have created this year. Doing so will help you re-charge, energize and increase your sense of competence and confidence. It'll help you build momentum toward what truly matters. Then you'll be better able to ease though the rest of this year, and into 2011, doing more with less. Sound good?

"I did it; I can do!"

If so, I recommend that you take 10 or 15 minutes. Find a quiet place. Pour yourself a cup of tea or a glass of wine. Write down the results that you completed/created in the last 270 days, or so. Write them all down - big, small, in-between - write them down.

Then read over your list. Think about each result you created. Say, "I did that, I did that…". And say "thank you" to yourself for creating each time, and to the universe for helping you. Just say a simple "thanks" and feel grateful. Then, when you've read the whole list, pause, and notice how you feel.

Good, I hope. Confident, I'll bet. Because confidence, true confidence, authentic confidence arises out of demonstrated competence — and your list is a demonstration of your competence.

A series of "I did it, I did it…," quickly leads to the realization that "I can do!" And to a burst of confidence and energy that you can apply to new things that you want to do/create.

Three Results In 90 Days!

Here's an exercise I use with my personal life coaching and professional clinets to help them build momentum, and follow through to results.

Firs, think about what you set out to create/do this year, but didn't finish. Make a list.

Then break it into two lists.

On one, write down all the things that you think you can reasonably do/create in the next 90 days.

On the other, write down bigger things, things you don't think you can create (or don't really want to create) in the next 90 days. Label that list "Possibilities for 2011 and Beyond," and park it. Put it aside.

Go back to the list of things you think you can or want to complete in the next 90 days. Pick the three most important one, the three things that will make you most happy, most proud, most fulfilled and/or provide the most good for you, your family and the world.

Write them down on a separate list. Add "by when?" to each. A date. Or something such as "within 3 weeks." Some of us work best with specific dates; others work best within specified blocks of time.

Then, for each of your three results, craft a clear, compelling vision of what that result would look and feel like if you completed. Put in the present tense. "I'm lean, strong, fit and weigh x pounds. I can hike up Mt. Douglas and back with ease. I feel great!" Something like that.

Then, carefully — accurately, objectively and emotionally neutrally — assess the current reality, the current state of your result. Be honest! Describe the current reality; don't judge it. Don't say, "I'm fat!" Say, "I weigh x+ pound. I can only walk half way up Mt Douglas before my knees hurt."

(If you're not sure about how to do this, check out Chapters 8 and 9 in Simplicity and Success, or Chapters 6, 7 and 8 in Staying Up In Down Times & Beyond.) Links are below.

Use Creative Tension to Energize Your Actions

When you have a clear vision and a carefully assessed current reality, try to imagine the gap between where you are now, and where you want to be by the time you set. Sit with that gap for a bit.

Try to see both vision and current reality at the same time — as if you were seeing them on a split screen. When you can, you'll feel a kind of creative tension, a kind of excitement and anticipation - energy! As you let that energy fill you, let action steps emerge for you. Write them down.

Simple actions that can do today, do! Or put them on your calendar or to do list to do another day. But write them down, and do them soon.

Actions that are too big to be done today can be considered sub-results. Transpose the action, "Run the New Year's half-marathon" (which is a verb, a process) into a noun, a thing: "NY's 1/2 Marathon completed."

Then repeat the process above for vision, current reality and actions. Repeat for each large action/sub-result until have a whole bunch of small sub-sub-results and easy to do actions. Then do those actions.

The small actions will add up to small results. Several small results will accumulate into medium sub-results and creating the sub-results that you have identified will (usually) result in you completing the final result you want. This is how you build momentum, step by step, poco a poco (little by little).

But as it builds, momentum will help you overcome adversity, deal with obstacles and help you follow through to final results!

Creating Your Way Into Your Own Greatness

So, last 90 days of 2010.

Are you just going to coast into Christmas, lamenting that you didn't get much done or created this year? Or are you going to take stock, remind yourself of your competence and confidence, pump up your energy and create the last couple of key things you want to create this year?

Think of the momentum that will build for you. Think of the jump that will give you going into 2011. Think of how great it will feel to create those results, and feel that rising confidence.

Imagine yourself creating your way into your own true greatness, and, in time, creating what matters most for you. Truly matters!

"If not you, who? If not now, when?"
-------------------—

CAN LIFE COACHING HELP YOU CREATE DESIRED RESULTS?
===================================================
> Are you stuck, stalled or drifting? In transition? Not sure what truly matters? Or why?

Are you successful in some areas, but not in those that matters most to you?

> Would you like to do more with less, create desired results and integrate life and work?

> If so, personal life coaching help you clarify what you to create want. It can help you set up an organizing framework that embraces vision and reality. And it can help you take then action to make your dreams a reality – with whatever life gives you to work with!

"Working with Bruce has helped me do more, much more with less. He helped me get clear about what mattered to me and showed my a framework that I could use to create almost anything that I wanted to create. You can't get better value than that from a personal life coach."
– Allison Girard, London, England

> I have space for 2 new personal life coaching clients in Oct/Nov. Professional and executive coaching, too.
If you're interested, please e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject line.
I'll send my 7-page LIFE COACHING INFO PACKAGE. Also consider my fr.ee 45-minute consult.
-------------

VIDEO: POSSIBLY THE BEST TED TALK I'VE EVER SEEN!!!
===================================================
This weeks video is a TED Talk by Benjamin Zander, co-author of The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life.

In it he uses a demonstration of a Chopin Prelude to link together, music, passion, community, leadership and love. It's brilliant.

Watch when you want to feel uplifited, inspired and just to feel good about the world and yourself.
View it at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LCwI5iErE
---------------------------

MOMENTUM BUILDING QUOTES
========================================
"Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
– St Francis of Assisi

"There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by."
– Annie Dillard

"We are told that talent creates its own opportunities. But it sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities, but its own talents."
– Eric Hoffer

You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. You must want it with an inner exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world.
– Sheila Graham

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create."
– Albert Einstein

“Your entire life has been getting you ready for this moment. Use everything you've got to create a future that is your dream.”_
– Barbara Winter
----------------

Remember, if you're interested in my Personal Life Coaching Info Package, or my fr.ee 45-minute life coaching chat, please email me. I'd love to talk with you about what truly matters to you.

Have a simple yet rich, joyful and flourishing week.
Cheers!
Bruce

PLEASE SUPPORT ME. HELP ME GIVE AWAY MY FREE E-BOOK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My 90-page e-book Staying Up In Down Times & Beyond! is about taking what life throws at you, and using it as raw material with which to create what you most want in life and work.

"Bruce's approach goes beyond coping with hard times. He helps you embrace life's complexity, and use it as raw material to create results. If life gives you lemons, you don't just make lemonade–you make a delicious lemon soufflé. Your life isn't just less bad or a little better - it's energized in a whole new way. I use some of Bruce's tools and can testify to their power."
—Vicki Robin, Million-Selling Coauthor of Your Money Or Your Life

It's free. And you can share it with friends, family, colleagues . . . whoever you think would appreciate it. Just send them this link: http://www.bruceelkin.com/staying-up-e-book.html

>Also, every time one of you posts this link to their Facebook page, between 10 and 30 people take advantage of the free offer. So, please do post the link on Facebook. You can also post it on Twitter, LinkedIn, Digg, etc… It all helps. Thanks!!!

Here's the link, again:
Staying Up In Down Times & Beyond! A free ebook about creating resilience, results and real reward - with whatever life throws at you!
http://www.bruceelkin.com/staying-up-e-book.html
-------–

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY BOOKS AND E-BOOKS! THINK GIFTS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My book Simplicity and Success: Creating the Life You Long For! has helped numerous people take a good look at their lives and work – and simplify both. It's not about going to the woods and living in a tent; it is about the skills and structure for creating better results with less stress, strain and drain on resources.

"Bruce Elkin does a great job showing that voluntary simplicity doesn't mean doing without - rather, simple living is about fine-tuning your life to achieve your most important dreams."
- Janet Luhrs, The Simple Living Guide

My other e-books – Emotional Mastery and Creating Sustainable Success – have helped many get unstuck, on track and moving in a direction that matters to them. They're cheap but good, in PDF format and easy to read.

"Using the insights and exercises in Emotional Mastery has helped me change my mood from dark and miserable to relaxed and mostly happy. It's a great book for understanding the cause of depression and anxiety and for overcoming depression!"
- Helen Astikkosh, HR Consultant, Vancouver, BC

I have more info and testimonials about my book and ebooks on my website.
Please check them out! Go to: http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity.html

AND THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT AND HELP. I APPRECIATE IT!!!
----------------------------
Copyright (c) 2010 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.

"THE POWER OF "YET!" - SHIFT FOCUS, CREATE RESULTS!"

2010-09-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

"Try again. Fail again. Fail better.'"
~ Samuel Beckett

Hi ,
First day of fall. And after a kind of rainy September so far, we have had a glorious return to summer.

It's so nice that I find it hard to work. So I'm taking lots of breaks, walking by the beach, strolling in the park and getting out on my bike for some more serious exercise.

I'm hoping this spell of bright, sunny weather lasts. And I'm aware that all things must end, and the fall storms and grey skies are inevitable. I'm also aware that getting out gets harder in those more trying conditions. But one of the things that helps me get out during the rainy months is remembering "the power of yet."

In the article below, which is a revised excerpt from Chapter 9 of Simplicity and Success: Creating the Life You Long For! I explain how the simple word "yet" can make something difficult a lot easier, and more successful.
-------------

THE POWER OF "YET"
=========================
Have you ever been in a discussion and someone dismissed your point, saying, "It's just semantics, just words"? Well, it's not.

Such a ploy belies the importance of words as maps of our world. We need accurate maps. If I tell you to meet me in Montreal but I really mean Montreux, is it just words? No! One is in Canada. The other is in Switzerland. Thinking "it's just words," we're not likely to meet.

Words can make a big difference in whether we get to where we want to go!

One Little Word Can Make A Big Difference
Let me illustrate this by pointing out the difference that one little word - "yet"- can make.

I once ran an Executive Retreat program in the Rockies. Although not much of a climber, I coached participants in applying creating skills to challenging situations, such as when an executive failed to complete a practice climb.

“That's impossible,” I'd hear a frustrated exec say. “I can't do that.” A string of excuses often followed as a justification for the failure.

Such a “failure” is difficult for hard-charging executives to accept, especially men. I could have accept their excuses, or challenged them, or giving them a "rah, rah!" pep talk, or done something else to manipulate them into trying again.

Instead, I'd look them in the eye and then simply, gently say, “Yet!”

"Yet?" they'd ask, looking at me strangely. “What do you mean?”

Describe Reality, Don't Judge It!
I'd point out that, “I can not do it,” is not an accurate description of reality. It is a judgment about reality. And judgments carry an emotional charge that distorts our thinking and action.

Moreover, the judgment is absolute. It implies that, “not only can I not do this now, I will never be able to do it.”

Absolutes increase the emotional charge – fear! – and further distort thinking and doing.

The fear that they would never succeed at the task upset the executives more than not succeeding. (That and the deeper fear that their buddies would succeed.)

"All you really know," I'd tell them, "is that you cannot do the practice climb, yet."

After a quick review of the difference between describing reality and judging it, I'd have them practice saying, "I can't do it, yet." Doing so changed how they thought about the task. It reduced the fear. And almost always, they would choose to try the short climb again. Almost always, they succeeded.

When they came down, they'd smile and say, “You were right. I couldn't do it, yet.”

Applying the "Yet" Lesson
“I can't do it, yet,” is an objective description of current reality. It doesn't say anything about the future. Being objective about reality in the face of difficulty, setbacks or failure is a powerful way to keep up momentum and make progress toward desired results.

Judging reality distorts it, making it even more difficult to progress toward results.

During the retreat wrap-up, executives reported that the “yet” lesson was one of the most powerful they learned — personally, professionally and organizationally. When I followed up six months later, the President assured me that things were going well.

"We aren't completely, there yet," he said, "but we're making good progress. Thanks to you, and "yet!"

Try It Yourself
You do not have climb rock faces to learn how the “yet” lesson applies to you. Try this exercise yourself.

First, make a mental picture of something you have tried to do, or change, or accomplish but could not succeed at.

What you want could be anything: doing spreadsheets on a computer, running 10 miles in under forty-five minutes, drawing human faces, making flaky pie crusts, fitting into a size six dress, bench pressing 250 pounds, jump-starting your home business, whatever…

Once you have a result you want to produce, then envision yourself trying it and not succeeding. See yourself failing at it. This might be hard for some but do it anyway. Let yourself imagine trying and failing. Then say, “I cannot do that,” and note how you feel.

In workshops, almost everyone reports feeling “down,” “depressed,” “frustrated,” “despairing,” “hopeless,” or “like giving up.” Their body language tells a tale of deflation and defeat.

Then I ask them to visualize the same situation again, to imagine themselves trying what they want to do and not succeeding. This time, I ask them to say, “I can't do that, yet.”

When I ask them to note how they feel, they report things such as, “pumped,” “hopeful,” “excited,” “motivated,” “committed,” “like I should practice more,” or “maybe if I got some coaching…?” They sit up straighter. Their faces are more alert. Most are smiling.

Now, you try it, with the result you've chosen. See yourself trying and still failing, but this time say, "I can't do that yet," and notice how you feel. See a difference?

Objective Description Can Change Threats Into Challenges, Failure Into Success
Adding “yet” to “I can't do it" turns a judgment into a description. It can turn a a threat into a challenge; it adds hope and possibility to the situation. Hope is critical in creating what matters.

So, the next time you find yourself frustrated because you cannot do what you want to do, just add the word "yet." See for yourself the difference that saying, "I cannot do it, yet" makes to both your process and your result.
-------------------—

CAN COACHING HELP YOU CREATE DESIRED RESULTS?
========================================
> Are you stuck, stalled or drifting? In transition? Not sure what truly matters? Or why?
Are you successful in some areas, but not in those that matters most to you?

> Would you like to do more with less, create desired results and integrate life and work?

> If so, coaching help you clarify what you to create want. It can help you set up an organizing framework that embraces vision and reality. And it can help you take then action to make your dreams a reality – with whatever life gives you to work with!

"I was kind of lost when I started working with Bruce. He helped me figure out what really matters, and in just 8 weeks I've started to bring friends and health into my life with a focus I didn't believe possible. Bruce has taught me many invaluable skills that I will gratefully carry with me for the rest of my life. This stuff is the core of creating a happy and fulfilling life and the benefits of the coaching continue to grow exponentially for me."
– Jason Howard, MA, USA

> I have space for 3 new clients in Oct/Nov.
If you're interested, please e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject line.
I'll send my 7-page COACHING INFO PACKAGE. Also consider my fr.ee 45-minute consult.
-------------

VIDEO: A KEY TO MY WORK: From problem solving to "creating results that matter."
===========================================================
This weeks video is a short interview with me, discussing the key to my work. In it I describe how I help people shift their focus from problems — what they don't like and don't want — to creating what they truly do want in their lives, work, relationship and other key areas.
http://conversationswithroger.blip.tv/file/3807483/
---------------------------

QUOTABLE QUOTES
========================================
"Two little words that can make the difference: START NOW."
-- Mary C. Crowley

"Better than a thousand useless words is one single word that gives peace."
-- Buddha

"Watch your thoughts: they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch you actions; they become your habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character for it will become your destiny."
-- Frank Outlaw

"You're alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act."
-- Barbara Hall

"No mistake or failure is as bad as to stop and not try again."
-- John Wanamaker

“I have learned to use the word 'impossible' with the greatest caution."
-- Wernher von Braun
----------------

Remember, if you're interested in my Coaching Info Package, or my fr.ee 45-minute chat, please email me. I'd love to talk with you about what truly matters to you.

Have a simple yet rich, joyful and flourishing week.
Cheers!
Bruce
***************************************************
BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional Life/Work Design & Transition Coach
Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
****************************************************

SOME WAYS THAT YOU CAN SUPPORT THIS NEWSLETTER – AND ME!
===============================================
I've been sending out the newsletter for nearly 8 years. And it's all self-supported.
No ads. No affiliates. No begging for money. (OK, I tried that, and it didn't work.)
I love doing this, because I love writing. And I love your feedback, good or bad: it's all good!

AND I'D REALLY LOVE YOU TO HELP ME GET THE WRITING OUT TO MORE FOLKS!
Here's a couple of ways that you can support me, and my writing - and gain my undying appreciation!

YOU CAN SUPPORT ME BY SHARING ARTICLES AND/OR THE NEWSLETTER:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>If you enjoy these posts, please pass them along to friends and colleagues. Thanks!

> Did someone forward you this newsletter?
Subscribe here, and get your own delivered every 2 weeks.
AND a free copy of my new ebook Staying Up In Down Times and Beyond!
--------

YOU CAN SUPPORT ME BY HELPING ME GIVE AWAY MY FREE E-BOOK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My 90-page e-book Staying Up In Down Times & Beyond! is about taking what life throws at you, and using it as raw material with which to create what you most want in life and work.

"Bruce's approach goes beyond coping with hard times. He helps you embrace life's complexity, and use it as raw material to create results. If life gives you lemons, you don't just make lemonade–you make a delicious lemon soufflé. Your life isn't just less bad or a little better - it's energized in a whole new way. I use some of Bruce's tools and can testify to their power."
—Vicki Robin, Million-Selling Coauthor of Your Money Or Your Life

It's free. And you can share it with friends, family, colleagues . . . whoever you think would appreciate it. Just send them this link: http://www.bruceelkin.com/staying-up-e-book.html

>Also, every time one of you posts this link to their Facebook page, between 10 and 30 people take advantage of the free offer. So, please do post the link on Facebook. You can also post it on Twitter, LinkedIn, Digg, etc… It all helps. Thanks!!!

Here's the link to share, again: http://www.bruceelkin.com/staying-up-e-book.html
-------–

YOU CAN SUPPORT ME BY BUYING MY BOOKS AND E-BOOKS! THINK GIFTS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My book Simplicity and Success: Creating the Life You Long For! has helped numerous people take a good look at their lives and work – and simplify both. It's not about going to the woods and living in a tent; it is about the skills and structure for creating better results with less stress, strain and drain on resources.

"Bruce Elkin does a great job showing that voluntary simplicity doesn't mean doing without - rather, simple living is about fine-tuning your life to achieve your most important dreams."
- Janet Luhrs, The Simple Living Guide

My other e-books – Emotional Mastery and Creating Sustainable Success – have helped many get unstuck, on track and moving in a direction that matters to them. They're cheap but good, in PDF format and easy to read.

"Using the insights and exercises in Emotional Mastery has helped me change my mood from dark and miserable to relaxed and mostly happy. It's a great book for understanding the cause of depression and anxiety and for overcoming depression!"
- Helen Astikkosh, HR Consultant, Vancouver, BC

I have more info and testimonials about my book and ebooks on my website. Please check it out! Go to: http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity.html

AND THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT AND HELP. I APPRECIATE IT!!!
----------------------------
Copyright (c) 2010 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.
--------------------

"Working The Learning Curve; Creating Results!"

2010-09-15T14:03:00.000-07:00

"True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new."
– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

September. A time of renewal. For us in the northern hemisphere, time to start school, ramp up new work projects and recommit to personal health, fitness and other programs.

In the south, spring has (or is about to) sprung. It's a time to plan summer projects, slow down, relax and take a look at what you're been doing, and what you truly want to do.

September, for many, is time to set goals. Energy swirls, and we want to channel it. It's a time to embrace the gap between where we are and where we want to be, and then lay out actions to get from here and there.

But, like New Year's, in spite of good intentions, many don't follow through. After motivation's initial energy fades, or reality puts up roadblocks, many drift off course, quit and revert to old habits.

Why?

Where's the Foundation for Action?
Because many don't have a solid foundation for action. We lack an organizing framework – a structure – that enables us to try things, learn from experience, make adjustments and follow through to desired results – with whatever reality puts in our way!

I just spent a great summer: reading, researching a book idea and working on a memoir piece for another book. I sat on my deck, sucked up sun. I read interviews with and memoirs by some of my favourite writers. I made notes. I wrote rough out bits of a book proposal and scribbled chunks of the memoir in my journal. Nothing serious. Playful experimentation. Great fun!

Then, I sat at my writing desk and tried to turn my notes into a structured first draft of a proposal.

Ugh! Not so fun. After my dreamy, playful summer, reality reared its ugly head. It's not working. The gap between where I am and where I want to be is HUGE!! What will I do? This is WAY harder than I thought. It's gonna to take WAY more work than I imagined. I don't think I can pull this off?

Before I learned the creating structure I now use, teach and coach other people to use, seeing reality like this would put me off. I'd lose energy. Motivation would fade. I'd drift, give in to distraction and rationalize that, "I don't really want this book. Those grapes are probably sour."

But, now, my experience with the creating structure reminds me that, "Beginnings are always filled with doubts and difficulties."

Understanding How The Learning Curve Can Work For You!
I know – and accept – that I am at the start of a long, flat learning curve. [Go to http://bruceelkin.com/writing/ebook.pdf – page 183 for a diagram of "the learning curve."] Or, imagine a hockey stick lying on it's side with the blade sticking up on the right. Long flat handle on the left, blade rising steeply on the right.

I know I'll struggle to cross the first, flat 80% of the curve. I know my time and effort will only generate 20% of my results. I also know, that if I work my way across the flat, I'll eventually hit the steep. There, the curve turns upward, and the next 20% of effort will generate 80% of my results. Yahoo!

But how to slog my way across that long, difficult and often frustrating flat part? How to make the 80/20 rule work FOR me, not against?

Using the Creating Structure To Keep Working Across the Flat Part of the Curve

That's where creating comes in. It's structure is driven by vision, grounded in reality and generates three powerful sources of energy for action, learning and crafting results.

By holding a vision of my desired result in mind with the current state of that result, I set up a second source of energy to complement the motivational energy generated by a clear, compelling vision.

Holding a vision of the completed proposal/book in mind at the same time as I embrace the reality of their current state generates creative tension. Embedded within that tension, I'l find the energy to keep slogging across the curve – even when motivation fades, or adversity sets me back.

I use creative tension to take action, learn from my experience and teach myself what I need to know and do to cross the handle of the hockey stick.

I know that when I hit the steep part, results will come fast and furious. I know momentum (the third source of energy) will build. And, I as I close on my result, I know motivation will reappear and, together with momentum, pull me up the exhilarating, reward rich steep of the curve.

I don't know how long this will take. I don't know if I can do it. That generates the "doubt and uncertainty." But I know that working within the creating structure will greatly increase my chances of success.

So when the gap between vision and reality reared it head, I took time to clarify and articulate (write!) my vision the book and the proposal, and specify criteria for success.

Then I wrote a clear, accurate and objective assessment of my current reality. I described it; didn't judge it. No "huge" or "way harder." No drama. Just as I want my vision passionately emotional, I want current reality emotionally neutral. That sets up creative tension and generates the energy to act.

With an energized vision and a neutral view of reality, the natural course of action is to start where I am, take small actions and gradually move across the flats of the learning curve toward the the results that come on the steep part.

So, powered by the energy of motivation and creative tension, I pounded out what one of my writing mentors calls "a shitty first draft." I got down what I think are the basic ideas. I didn't worry that it's rough and incomplete. I know that a big part learning involves create and adjust, create and adjust …

Using the creating structure increases my chances of completing results. In spite of fear, doubts and uncertainty, I know that, if I put in that first 80% of time and effort, the next 20% will come easily. And, I'll reap the rewards as momentum lifts me up the steep part the curve.

So, back to work I go. Poco a poco – little by little – I work my way across the curve to the results I had so much fun imagining. Gradually, as I progress, the work itself becomes fun.
And, in the end, the results!
-------------
From Bruce Elkin's Simply Success e-newsletter.
To subscribe, go here.
-----------------------------------------

CAN COACHING HELP YOU CREATE DESIRED RESULTS!
========================================
> Are you stuck, stalled or drifting? In transition? Not sure what really matters to you? Or why?

> If so, coaching help you clarify what you truly want. It can help you set up an organizing framework that embraces vision and reality, and take then action to make your dreams a reality – with whatever life gives you to work with!

"I've had other coaches, Bruce. But none helped me develop a structure for creating what matters — with whatever I have to work with! Working in the framework you taught me enabled me to create a new studio/writing room, a part-time job I love, and I'm half-way through a memoir. I'm learning tons about myself and my new process of creating. Thanks so much!"
–Sonja Simons, Chicago, IL, USA

> I have space for 3 new clients in Sept/Oct. And am interviewing for Oct/Nov.

If you're interested, please e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as subject line.
I'll send my 7-page COACHING INFO PACKAGE. Also consider my fr.ee 45-minute consult.

-------------

VIDEO: "My Son Ruined My Life!"
==============================
James Baraz is the author of Awakening Joy: 10 Steps That Will Put You on the Road to Real Happiness.
In this funny and moving short video, his mother Selma tells how one of his exercises helped her overcome her Jewish mother tendency to complain - "kvetch" - and ruined her life.
Why? You've gotta hear Selma tell you that herself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRbL46mWx9w
---------—

VIDEO: A Journalistic Learning Curve
=============================
American Journalism and Literary Greats Nora Ephron and Pete Hamill discuss how their mentors helped and coached them along the journalism learning curve. Poco a poco! Little by little!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9kPjCaCgRI
---------------------------

QUOTABLE QUOTES
========================================
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
- George Bernard Shaw

"Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich."
– Sarah Bernhardt

"A man of good will with a little effort and belief in his own powers can enjoy a deep, tranquil, rich life -- provided he go his own way. He need not and should not think of making a good living, but rather of creating a good life for himself. To live one's own life is still the best way of life, always was, and always will be."
– Henry Miller

Realize that now, in this moment of time, you are creating. You are creating your next moment. That is what's real.
– Sara Paddison

"Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down."
– Charles F. Kettering

"Live with vision and purpose. Resilient people don't wait passively for the future to happen to them-they become the future by consciously creating it."
–Joan Borysenko

"Hasten slowly and ye shall soon arrive."
– Milarepa
----------------

Remember, if you're interested in my Coaching Info Package, or my fr.ee 45-minute chat, please email me. I'd love to talk with you about creating what truly matters to you.

Have wonderful September!
Cheers!
Bruce

PLEASE ALSO CHECK OUT MY BOOKS AND EBOOKS!
=====================================
I have more info and testimonials about my book and ebooks on my website. Please check it out!
My Staying Up In Down Times & Beyond! ebook is FREE!

For info please go to: http://www.bruceelkin.com
----------------------------
Copyright (c) 2010 by Bruce Elkin. All rights worldwide reserved.
--------------------

Where's My Power? In Motivation? Momentum? Both!

2010-07-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

This Week's Focus:
Where's My Power? In Motivation? Momentum? Or Both?

“Most of life is routine - dull and grubby, but routine is the momentum that keeps a man going.
If you wait for inspiration you'll be standing on the corner after the parade is a mile down the street.”
–Ben Nicholas

Summer has settled nicely into our area. I hope it is doing the same in yours, or if you're in the southern half of the globe, that you're enjoying sliding into a pleasant fall.

Recently, I have worked with a couple of clients who had major breakthroughs in their ability to create results that mattered – after grasping the power of momentum as a source of energy every bit as powerful, or more, than motivation.

So I thought a few words on that topic might be in order.

Did you know that billions of dollars are spent every year by people like you and me who want to get motivated?

But, I often wonder, if all the motivational books, talks, tapes, CDs and DVDs worked, why do we buy more of them? Why is the motivational industry so robust?

Perhaps it's because many of us that think motivation is all that's needed to generate results. It's not!

Motivation is only one of three sources of energy that creators use to create real and lasting results. Motivation is a a bit like the booster rocket on shuttle space ships. It's big and powerful and useful in getting the shuttle launched, but quickly burns out and falls away.

Think of motivation as being like the sun.
It's brilliant and energizing when it's out. But when it goes behind the clouds, our energy can quickly fade.

In creating, the motivational power of a clear, compelling vision of desired results is a necessary source of energy. But it's not usually enough to keep you going long enough to bring a completed result into being.

To complete real and lasting results, you also need the energy of creative tension that forms in the gap between vision and current reality; between where you are and where you want to be. That's the primary energy that keeps you going once motivation fades. It's the energy that empowers your initial actions. Taking those actions, creating small successes builds the third source of energy: momentum.

The Power of Momentum
Momentum is a powerful, but often overlooked force.

Momentum will get you through times of no (or low) motivation better than motivation will get you through times of no momentum. And through times of adversity, set-backs and stuckness!

When you are stuck or stalled – in your car, or in life or work – it is difficult to get motivated.

That's when you need momentum, which my dictionary says is, “the power to increase or develop at an ever-growing pace."

I grew up in Edmonton, Alberta. Cars were always stuck there, in snow in the winter, and in mud in the other seasons. To get them unstuck, we rocked them back and forth. A little back, a little forward. Then back again, building momentum. With each rock of the car, momentum grew until popped the car out of whatever it was stuck in.

"2 Minute Miracles and 15 Minutes Tests"
You can do the same in you life in work. If you're stuck, stalled, lacking motivation, or just not in the mood, it can help to just do a little of what you want to do. Just enough to get started. Then do a bit more.

Drawing teacher Betty Edwards talks about "the 2 minute miracle." When drawing students are stuck and can't draw, she tells them to just draw for 2 minutes, and then stop. That seems easy enough. But when students draw for 2 minutes, they usually feel like continuing. They've got themself across the "threshold of effort" and generated the energy of momentum, which keeps them going.

Similarly, in her book Bird By Bird: Some Advice On Writing and Life, writing teacher and novelist Anne Lamont gives her students two basic rules for getting started and building momentum:

"1. Give yourself short assignments, and
2. Write shitty first drafts."

Breaking large tasks down into smaller tasks makes them less threatening, less overwhelming and easier to tackle. Purposefully writing bad first drafts means you can't fail. Fear of failure often gets in the way of getting started and generating the momentum needed to keep going.

In technology development their is a technique know as "rapid prototyping."

Instead of trying to design the perfect piece of technology, designers build prototypes, test them and learn from the experience. Then they apply their learning to another prototype and test it. By doing this quickly, they learn quickly and as the prototypes evolve, they work better. Learning by doing is usually superior to learning only from books!

"But, I don't feeeellll like it!"
Another thing that gets in the way of building momentum is letting ourselves be ruled by our moods. How many times have you to wanted to do something but didn't do it because you said to yourself, "I don't feel like it."

If we waited until we felt like doing everything we want to do, we'd hardly ever get anything done. One of the differences between professional creators and dabblers is that professionals know how to take action – even when they don't feel like it – and dabblers depend on their feelings to motivate them. Good luck!

Writer Joyce Carol Oates described the power of momentum to overcome moods when she said:

“One must be pitiless about this matter of 'mood.' In a sense the writing will create the mood. . . . Generally I have found this to be true: I have forced myself to begin writing when I've been utterly exhausted, when I've felt my soul as thin as playing card, when nothing seemed enduring for another five minutes . . . and somehow the activity of writing changes everything.”

So, when you're stuck, try using momentum - taking small but ever-increasing actions - to gently rock yourself out of your stuckness and into successful results.

I use what I call "the 15 minute test". If I want to do something but don't feel like it, I try it for 15 minutes. I test the waters, without committing myself. If, after 15 minutes I want to quit, I do. But 9 times out of 10, doing the 15 minute test shifts my mood, generates momentum and I feel like continuing.

Not only does momentum lead to results; those results energize you further. They motivate you to create new results. Success leads to success.

For more on "the 15 minute test" and getting past your "I don't feel like it" moods, see my article, “This Matter of Mood” at http://www.bruceelkin.com/writer.html
Scroll down to “Creating Optimism and Resilience.” Enjoy!
-------------------

CAN COACHING HELP YOU CREATE DESIRED RESULTS!
========================================
> Are you stuck, stalled or drifting? In transition? Plateauing? Not sure what really matters to you? Or why? Or where to go next?

> If so, coaching help you clarify what you truly want. It can help you set up an organizing framework that embraces vision and reality, and take then action to make your dreams a reality – with whatever life gives you to work with!

"I've been successful in most things I've taken on. But as I got married, had kids, moved up the organizational ladder, things got more complex, more complicated. I got in a rut; stuck. And started to stress myself, which made things worse.
"But working with Bruce and the organization framework for creating desired results - with whatever you have to work with - helped me get unstuck, moving again, and, eventually onto a track that I totally loving. This is powerful stuff!"
– R. Dorsett, Hawaaii, USA

> I have space for 2 new clients in August. And 3 in September.
If you're interested, please e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as subject line.
I'll send my 7-page COACHING INFO PACKAGE. Also consider my fr.ee 45-minute consult.
I'd love to chat with you about creating the results you long to create!
-------------

VIDEO: MORE ABOUT ME, AND HOW I WORK!
===============================
In this short (2 min) video I describe how it's not always simple to create a simple yet rich and flourishing life and work. But, if you can increase your own capacity to create what matters to the point where it matches the complexity of the challenges you face, you will be able to create the simplicity on the other side of complexity. And that's where deep satisfaction and fulfillment lie!
Check it out at:
http://conversationswithroger.blip.tv/file/3807485/
---------------–

HELP ME GIVE AWAY MY EBOOK
- Staying Up In Down Times & Beyond!
========================================================
Here's another testimonial from a happy reader:

"Bruce's approach goes beyond coping with hard times. He helps you embrace life's complexity, and use it as raw material to create results. If life gives you lemons, you don't just make lemonade - you make a delicious lemon soufflé. Your life isn't just less bad or a little better - it's energized in a whole new way. I use some of Bruce's tools and can testify to their power."
-Vicki Robin, Million-Selling Coauthor of Your Money Or Your Life

If you liked Staying Up In Down Times, please post this link in your Facebook "status" bar:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/staying-up-e-book.html

Every time someone posts the link, we get between 10 and 30 new subscribers! Yahoo! Without new subscribers, we can't survive. With subscribers, we can thrive!

>If you don't have your own copy, download it free at http://bit.ly/9HUvms
---------------------------–

THIS WEEK'S QUOTES:
====================
‘Try again. Fail again. Fail better.’
--Samuel Beckett

"One way to create momentum is by creating a series of small successes. So pick small goals, goals that are easy to create and then create them. . . . (P)ractice creating. All the things you create will give you more skill and more momentum."
-- Robert Fritz

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.”
-- Alan Cohen

“If you're coasting, you're either losing momentum or else you're headed downhill.
-- Joan Welsh

“Success requires first expending ten units of effort to produce one unit of results. Your momentum will then produce ten units of results with each unit of effort.”
-- Charles J. Givens

“When you're that successful, things have a momentum, and at a certain point you can't really tell whether you have created the momentum or it's creating you.”
- Annie Lennox

-------------

Remember, if you're interested in my Coaching Info Package, or my fr.ee 45-minute chat, please email me. I'd love to talk with you about what truly matters to you.

Have a simple yet rich, joyful and flourishing week.
Cheers!
Bruce
***************************************************
>BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional Life/Work Design & Transition Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!

Worldchanging: Bright Green: Bill Gates: the Most Important Climate Speech of the Year

2010-07-14T10:36:00.000-07:00

Worldchanging: Bright Green: Bill Gates: the Most Important Climate Speech of the Year

Is This All There Is To Life? No!

2010-07-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

This Week's Focus:
Is This All There Is To Life? No!

It's a lovely early summer morning here on the Island. Sitting out in the sun, on my deck, my morning writing practice prompted me to think back to a difficult and stressful time that I struggled to deal with.

I'd just got a new website up, and mostly debugged. I moved the site to a new host. I changed my email address. I also got a new computer, with a new operating system and new programs. All of this newness stressed me out, but not in a bad way.

It wasn't until I switched my newsletter mailing system that the stress got to me. During the change, I lost half of my subscriber list. One day I had over 1000 subscribers; the next I had 480. Gone! Nothing I could do to recover them.

This was a major blow to someone who makes his living by providing content to subscribers. I was frustrated, angry (and not sure who to blame). There were even a few moments when felt like quitting.

But, I didn't.

I let go of my desire to blame. I dug down and tapped into the resilience and persistence that I'd worked hard to develop. I learned to operate my new computer's operating system. I learned to manage the new mailing system. And, after a long, slow slog along the flat part of the learning curve, I rebuilt my list. It's now 50% larger than before I the big loss.

It wasn't easy, but by persisting, and practicing what I preach about "emotional mastery" and "creating desired results," I worked my way across the frustrating flats of the learning curve to the steep part where big results come from small efforts.
[For an explanation of the learning curve: http://bruceelkin.com/writing/ebook.pdf]

Once, the curve turned up, I started enjoying the flow, looking forward to creating better results all the time, which included finding time to write each morning.

This morning, thinking about the stress and anxiety that'd nearly sidelined me, I decided I'd dust off an earlier post about Emotional Mastery, revise it and share the new version with you all. I hope you find it useful.
-----

IS THIS ALL THERE IS TO LIFE? NO!
YOU CAN CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT!
===================================================
(From Emotional Mastery: Manage Your Moods and Create What Matters–With Whatever Life Gives You!)

Do you ever feel stuck? Stalled? Unsure what to do next?

Are you working too hard for too little? Too tired to get it all done? Does your body get the blues?

Do you ever feel resigned that this is all there is to life?

If you do — and if such thoughts frighten and depress — you are not alone. Back in 1854, Henry David Thoreau wrote, "The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation."

More recently, in a review of Andrew Solomon's memoir, The Noonday Demon: an Anatomy of Depression, Nicci Gerrard wrote, "More people die of depression than of AIDS, heart disease, pneumonia, cancer and strokes put together. One in 10 people in America is on drugs to help their moods. Five percent of teenagers are clinically depressed."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2001/may/06/booksonhealth.medicalscience

This is the bad news. If you feel bad, you really are not alone. But there is good news, too. For starters, it is not all your fault.

Genes incline some toward optimism, others toward pessimism. But genetics only accounts for only 50% of our inclination. What we do with the other 50 is up to us.

The really good news is that you can take charge of other 50%. You can learn to rise above pessimism, anxiety, depression, and distress. And change your life!

With practice, you will find it easier to cope with — even dissolve — frustration, depression and anxiety. You will be better able to create results that matter in life, work, and relationships — with whatever you have or feel.

To make that sometimes tough, sometimes long slog across the flat part of the learning curve, you'll have to practice the skills and strategies I outline in the e-book. And, like I did, you might need some professional help or coaching to keep you practicing until the new skills become habitual.

It's worth it, though. The ability to manage your moods and create results helps you feel good about yourself. It helps you avoid the epidemic of distress sweeping across North America. Your life, or the life of someone you know, can get better. A lot better!

I know. I went through serious, life-threatening distress 30 years ago. And by learning, practicing and mastering the Emotional Mastery skills, I rose above distress, transcended adversity, and came out happy, creative and successful on my own terms.

How about you?

Would you like to master your thinking and emotions, and make them work for you? Would you like to create results that matter?

Would you like to be happy, creative, and productive--with whatever life gives you?

If so, I recommend that you read Emotional Mastery. In it, I will show you how to get started, keep going, and follow through to results you truly want to create. What follows is a brief overview of the ABCs content.

A Brief Overview
Much distress is self-created. It comes from a distorted view of current reality, how you see and explain your world. For many reasons, we — especially the pessimistically inclined — often describe reality in dysfunctional and self-defeating ways.

But if you create distress, you can — with practice — create its opposite.

Thinking and talking about reality in realistically positive ways makes your emotions positive, making it easier to take effective action, learn new skills, and produce successful results.

Thinking positively and realistically helps you interact better with friends, family, and coworkers. It makes relationships better. It helps you get fit and healthy. It helps you produce better results in work, family, sports or the organizations you volunteer with and support. It can even help you deepen your spiritual connections.

Developing emotional mastery can turn what can be a downward spiral of desperation into an upward spiral of success, authentic self-esteem and deep and lasting happiness.

In Emotional Mastery, I explain how to take charge of your thinking and how manage your moods. I describe how to increase realistic optimism, and bounce back quickly when adversity strikes. Most important, I outline a set of skills with which you can create almost anything that matters to you.

In Chapter 1, "An Epidemic of Stress--And How To Avoid It," I argue that society is gripped by an epidemic of stress, anxiety, and depression. I describe how many of us do not know what to do — other than numb ourselves with nicotine, alcohol, and other drugs, shop and eat to excess, get addicted to TV, or turn our lives over to experts.

In Chapter 2, "How Changing My Thinking Saved My Life," I tell my story. I recount how taking my own life often seemed more appealing than living it. I also describe how I dug myself out of despair by, changed my thinking and my moods, and learned to create results I truly wanted.

In Chapter 3, "What Happens To Us Is Not What Makes Us Miserable," I show how you create negative feelings and emotions. And how to change your thinking so you create positive feelings, actions, and results.

In Chapter 4, "The ABCs of Emotional Mastery," I introduce the simple yet powerful technique I used to pull myself out of despair. It will help you recognize dysfunctional thinking, and change it to realistic, yet optimistic thinking — and action.

In Chapter 5, "The Power of Practice: From Insight to Action," I explain why insight is not enough, and why you have to practice these skills. And how, with practice, even practice can become fun.

In Chapter 6, "Mental Paths to Emotional Mastery," and Chapter 7, "Physical Paths to Emotional Mastery," I describe mind/body exercises that reduce stress, improve moods and shift from pessimism to realistic optimism.

In Chapter 8, "Beyond Adversity: From Quitter or Camper to Climber,"I show you how to cope with difficult circumstances. I help you assess whether you are a quitter, camper, or climber. And show you how to keep going — in spite of adversity — and reap the rewards of resilience and perseverance.

In Chapter 9, "Creating Positive Emotions," I explain how positive emotions provide a solid platform for action. I explain why positive emotions are key to the foundation on which all health, wealth, and well-being rest.

In Chapter 10, "Creating What Matters Most," I outline a framework for creating almost anything. I show you how emotional mastery and creating reinforce each other and create an upward spiral of results and happiness.

Finally, I show you how mastering creating and emotional mastery can
empower you to create the life you most want — with whatever life gives you.

http://www.BruceElkin.com/emotional-mastery.html
-----------

VIDEO: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SOLVING PROBLEMS AND CREATING RESULTS
========================================================
This issue's video clip stars my favourite coach - Me!

http://conversationswithroger.blip.tv/file/3807483/

Produced by Christopher Bowers of converstations.ca, this clip will help you see why "creating" is a much more powerful approach to most of life's challenges than "solving problems." It also describes how I help clients grasp this difference and shift their efforts to creating the results that truly matter to them.
------------------

COACHING for CREATING WHAT MATTERS MOST!
Personal Life Coaching and Professional Success Coaching
====================================
> Stuck? Stalled? Drifting? Unsure of purpose or direction?
* In transition? Wandering? Need help organizing your life/work?
* Thinking about simplifying but not at the cost of success?
* Or maybe you just want help living up to your dreams and aspirations?

> If so, please consider my personal/professional coaching approach.
I help you develop the skills, structure and support for creating rich, yet simple, healthy, and flourishing lives and work.

"What you taught me/continue to teach me profoundly affects how I
approach my world and the influence I have on others."
– J. Menard, Victoria, BC

> I have space for 3 new clients during July/August. Interested?
FOR INFO, e-mail me with "Coaching Package" as the subject. I'll send you my fr.ee 7-page info package.
--------------–

QUOTABLE QUOTES
=============================
"It's not the stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it."
-- Hans Selye, MD, Stress Without Distress

"Stress is an untransformed opportunity for empowerment."
-- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

"We have two choices: continue to blame the world for our stress or take responsibility for own reactions and deliberately change our emotional climate."
-Doc Childre and Howard Martin

"The ability to find joy in life is a tremendous strength. The people who can laugh are the strong ones. The people who can throw their heads back and delight in the joy of the moment are going to live a lot longer than those of us who are stressed and pushed and taking ourselves terribly seriously."
-- Claire Cloninger, 'A Place Called Simplicity'

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
-- Marcus Aurelius
---------------------

PLEASE HELP ME GIVE AWAY MY EBOOK
- Staying Up In Down Times & Beyond!
========================================================
Here's another testimonial from a happy reader:

"Bruce Elkin provides a life-organizing framework with which you can refocus your life on what matters most. If you read this book, be prepared to let go of stress and extraneous burdens, and re-energize your life."
-Dr. Paul Stoltz, Author: Adversity Quotient & The Adversity Challenge

If you liked the ebook, please post this link in your Facebook "status" bar:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/staying-up-e-book.html

Every time someone posts the link, we get new subscribers! Without new subscribers, we can't survive. With subscribers, we can thrive!

>If you don't have your own copy, download it free at http://bit.ly/9HUvms
---------------------------–

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY OTHER BOOKS AND EBOOKS!
=====================================
Here's a couple of testimonials for my book Simplicity and Success: Creating The Life You Long For:

"Wonderful!"
- Greg Seaman, Editor, Eartheasy Magazine

"Highly Recommended!"
- David Heitmiller, co-author of Getting A Life

"I've read this book twice and each time I learned much about how
to create what matters. I'm sure I'll read it again and again."
- Donna Nicolson, Seattle, WA

> If you'd like a personalized, signed copy of SIMPLICITY AND SUCCESS, send: CAD: $20 plus $5.00 S&H; US: $7.00 S&H. It is also available as an ebook on my website.

I have more info and testimonials about my book and ebooks on my website.
For info please go to: http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity.html
----------------------------

Wandering In Wonder: The Easy, Fun and Sure Way To Success!

2010-06-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

"Learning what to want is the most radical,
the most painful and the most creative art of life."
-Sir Geoffrey Vickers

I hope you had a nice weekend. I did. Spent it reading in the
sun, hanging out with friends, and signing up for my first ever
instructed Yoga sessions. I'm excited.

We had an unexpected 2-day break in the rain. So I hadn't planned
any major events for the weekend. I just took it as it came.
Walking when I felt like walking, reading when that moved me, and
just going with the flow.

Wandering In Wonder
As I wandered the woods and beach, I thought about how pleasant it
is to sometimes meander along, without a set goal, just wondering
about things as they are, or might be.

My eyes strayed from object to object, until they were caught by
something unexpected, something remarkable - one of what Confucius
called the 10,000 wonders of nature. That got me thinking about
the connection between "wander" and "wonder."

"Wonder" means "to speculate or be curious." "Wander" can mean,
"to stray from the path." So does "err," the root of "error."

In life, we often try to stay on our path, and not to err.

But what if we occasionally let ourselves stay from the set path?
What if we let ourselves err? What if we wandered a bit more?

Might we not discover more things to wonder about than if we merely
keep our nose to the grindstone, our eyes on the prize?

And if we wondered more about things, might not we see and perceive
those things differently. Might we not come up with different,
perhaps better paths of thinking and action?

I think so. And, although I'm not advocating merely wandering, I do
think we can make life richer, more interesting, and, in the long
run, more successful by taking a little time each day to wander,
and wonder - wander in wonder!

Hmm...?

Hurry! Hurry! Where? I'm Not Sure, But I Want To Get There Fast!

Many folks these days are in a hurry. They rush toward results;
they rush toward success. Some even rush toward simplicity. They
want it now. They don't want to wander and wonder, try things out,
see how they fit. They want quick results.

But often the simplicity or success they create is not sustainable.
In my book Simplicity and Success: Creating The Life You Long For I
detail numerous examples of people who rushed to results, only to
find that they were the wrong results for them. They had to abandon
those results, and double-back and start over again.

I think folks in too much of a hurry miss out on a lot of wisdom
that they might gain by wandering and bit and wondering. I find
that most of the clients that come to me for coaching help don't
really know, at first, what results they want to create.

They know what they don't want. They know what they think they
should want. And, sometimes, they know what others think they
should want. But the lists of desired results they make at the
beginning of our coaching program inevitably change as they wander
along the learning curve, shifting from a problem-focused stance to
a result-creating stance.

Taking Time To Wander, Wonder and Learn!

In coaching, we start small, with desired but simple, concrete
creations that enable clients to learn the basics of creating in a
relatively easy, non-threatening way.

Creating small creations allows folks to experience the full
dynamics of the creating process and it's learning curve. People
who take the time to fully create even a small practice result get
both insight and experience. They get the skills and structure of
creating into their muscles - into their hands and heart - as well
as their head.

This gives them a solid base on which to scale up to larger, more
complex creations without uncessary fear and worry. When they scale
up, they often find that what they learned by creating small
practice results changes their notion of what really matters. It
changes their lists of desired results

By taking time to learn the basics of creating, and to wander about
on the learning curve as they bring small creations into being,
these folks also take time to more deeply consider what really
matters to them. What they think they want to create becomes
clearer, more compelling and more authentically their own.

Then, creating those results becomes easier because generating the
motivation, creative tension and momentum that energizes their
actions comes easier when the results they want are authentically
theirs.

So, whether you're planning a career change, or thinking about
starting a home business, or writing a book, or going back to
school to upgrade your skills, I recommend that you wander a bit,
and wonder, before you lock into final decisions. It might make the
difference between getting into something that is authentically
you, instead of something that is not.

And, over the long run, it'll probably take you less time and
you'll enjoy it more than if you rushed to results!
-------------

VIDEO: A Journalistic Learning Curve
=====================================
American Journalism and Literary Greats Nora Ephron and Pete Hamill
discuss how their mentors helped and coached them along the
journalism learning curve. Poco a poco! Little by little!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9kPjCaCgRI
---------------------------

VIDEO: "No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!"
==============================
In this short, uplifting video Nick Vujicic demonstrates how he he
overcame what seemed like insurmountable odds to create the life
and work he loves - and inspires people around the world to do the
same. Make sure you have a kleenex!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA
-----------

PLEASE HELP ME GIVE AWAY MY EBOOK
- Staying Up In Down Times & Beyond!
================================================
Here's another testimonial from a happy reader:

"Staying Up In Down Times can help you create an adventurous,
fulfilling life. Reading it, I realized how much Bruce's guidance
shaped my approach to life, and helped me transform my dreams into
reality. He provides a template for engaging the world with wonder
and enthusiasm, and changing your inner language from can't to can."
-Sharon Wood, Keynote Speaker,
1st N. American Woman to Summit Mt Everest

If you liked Staying Up In Down Times, or if you just want to support me, please post this link in
your Facebook "status" bar:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/staying-up-e-book.html

Every time someone posts the link, we get between 10 and 30 new
subscribers! Yahoo! Without new subscribers, we can't survive. With
subscribers, we can thrive!

>If you don't have your own copy, you can get one at that link!

Thanks for your support!
----------------------------

QUOTABLE QUOTES
========================================
"I don't worry about the storms, I am learning to sail my own ship."
- Louisa May Alcott

"You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach
him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning
process as long as he lives."
- Clay P. Bedford

"As thinking beings we have a responsibility to observe carefully
and act with intention. When one does that, patterns emerge in the
dynamics. These emerging learnings can be used to shape behavior
and questions for the next moment in time.
-Glenda Eoyang

"There is something called learning at a rather small level of
organisation.
At a much higher gestalt level, learning is called evolution."
- Gregory Bateson

"That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've
understood all your life, but in a new way."
-Doris Lessing

"Never begrudge the money you spend on your own education."
-Jim Rohn

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."
-Mary Anne Radmacher
----------------

Remember, if you're interested in my Coaching Info Package, or my
fr.ee 45-minute chat, please email me at Bruce @ Bruce Elkin .com (without the spaces!).
I'd love to talk with you about what truly matters to you.

Have a simple yet rich, joyful and flourishing week.
Cheers!
Bruce

2010-06-10T11:34:00.000-07:00

This Week's Focus:
From Reacting To Creating: The "Oh, F@#$! to OK" Process

Welcome to "SIMPLY SUCCESS" - June 3/10:
===============================================
Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work --
With Whatever Life Throws At You!

Bruce Elkin
Personal Life Coach, Success Coach, Executive Renewal Coach
-----------------------------------------------------------

Hi All,
After a lovely winter and spring, us West Coasters are finally getting our comeuppance. Although, overall, May was slightly below normal for precipitation, and the first two weeks were sunny and bright, the last two were rain, rain, rain.

Funny, though, how people "judge" reality. "The worst spring I can remember!" I heard one fellow say. "Gawd! This must be the rainiest May on record."

This happens every year out here. We get a nice spell of spring weather and the rains hit again. And each year, people act as if they'd totally forgotten that it rains in the spring - as if, because we had nice sunny weather early, we're entitled to more of it. Ha!

The meteorological records show that June is one of the wettest months of the year in SW British Columbia. And that the big, long lasting, sunny high pressures systems that we associate with summer don't (statistically) come until July 12.

So, by "forgetting" that spring can be quite wet, people unnecessarily upset themselves by negatively judging the weather they get. Ever since I worked in the Canadian Rockies in the spring, summer and fall - when it can rain or snow on any given day — I've become a firm believer in accepting the weather I get, and dealing with it. I subscribe to the belief that there's no such thing as bad weather, just ill-equipped and poorly dressed people.

So, to my fellow west coasters who are bummed about the rain, I say, "This too will pass. And, in the meantime, get an umbrella or an anorak!"
----------------

MARK GOULSTON'S "OH, F@#$! TO OK" PROCESS
===================================================
In the last edition of Simply Success, I introduced you to Mark Goulston, author of Just Listen! and Get Out Of Your Own Way.

The first book is about overcoming self-defeating behaviour. The second is about listening in ways that enable you to get through to anyone. Great skills to have, IMO. And worth practicing until mastered.

In both books, he shows us that the way we deal with adversity effects whether we succeed in creating what matters to us, or not.

One of the chapters in Get Out Of Your Own Way is titled "Getting So Angry You Make Things Worse." In it, Goulston says we sometimes find ourselves in situations where we think someone has treated us badly, and we don't know what to do.

Should we vent our anger, and run the risk of doing something we regret? And lose the moral high ground in the process?

Or should we suppress our anger, and run the risk of it festering inside us?

Doing so could affect our physical/emotional health. And the anger might reemerge later in an uncontrollable blast that causes irreparable damage.

He gives the example of a nursing mother in a professional firm who was mocked by male colleagues. Should she lash back at them, or keep her anger to herself?

Goulston suggests a third option: "Convert the anger to conviction and act on the basis of principle."

He advised the woman to identify the principles that her colleagues were violating and find an way to point that out.

In a meeting, she first established that they agreed they were all professionals and should treat each other as equals. "So," she said, "if you think providing food for my child is unprofessional, I'll stop … on one condition: you guys stop taking personal calls, talking about dates, and interrupting meetings to talk about football. Tit for tat! OK?"

The woman's principled approach and touch of humour got through to the men. She didn't have to sacrifice her dignity by getting angry, and the men stopped treating her unprofessionally.

"Anger makes you wild," says Goulston, "but conviction makes you strong."

Take time to cool off, reflect, see what's making you angry, then note the principles you think are being violated, and put your conviction into words. Then take the best action you can to stand up for your principles.

But What If You're Just Too Angry to Cool Off?
Before you can get through to someone (or something) that you're angry at, you must first get through to yourself.

Realize that much of what you feel arises out of your thoughts and beliefs. It comes from what you say about other people, yourself and the situation.

As I point out in Emotional Mastery, the ability to control yourself, your self-talk and your beliefs is key to dealing with adverse situations and events.

So, it's best to get control of yourself and your thinking before you try to communicate with someone else, or take action to deal with an adverse situation.

In Just Listen, Goulston offers a quick, effective way to move from "attack mode" to "emotional mode" and into "smart mode."

Using this technique can help quickly cool off, see what's upsetting you, think through your options and determine how best to move toward the results you want to create.

Instead of taking hours or even days to cool off, Goulston says that, with practice, you can learn to do his "Oh F#@& to OK" process in 2 minutes!

The process outlines the key steps we all go through when stressed. Most go through all the steps — from the lowest to the highest (low = angry reaction; high = calm acceptance and action) — each time we're stressed.

With small stressors, you might start in the middle and work your way up to OK, Now What?, but with big ones, you start at the bottom, and work up to higher-order responses.

Here's how it goes (starting with the lowest kind of response):

• Something adverse and upsetting happens.

• You react, saying, "Oh, F#@&! This is awful. I'm doomed! I can't handle this!" But, if you recognize this reactive stage for what it is, it will be easier to rein in your emotions, and shift to a higher stage. Naming your emotion - "fear," for example - will help you step back from it a bit.

• As you cool down and get distance on the situation you release. "Oh, Gawd!" You might say. "This is a huge mess. I'm stuck with cleaning it up. This always happens to me!"

In this stage, you release; you let go of some of your anger. You're still upset, but less fearful of the outcomes.

• With some deep breaths and a little more distance, you can re-center. "Oh, Jeez! I can fix this, but it's not gonna be fun."

You're beginning to get control of yourself, your thinking and your actions.

• Next, you refocus. "Oh Well! I'm not gonna let his ruin my day/career/life/relationship…. This is what I can do right now to make it better.

Can you feel the drop in intensity? In this stage, you're accepting the reality as it is, and considering what you can do to deal with it.

• Finally, you reengage. "OK! This happened. So be it. What now? What do I want? What are my best next steps?" [My slightly modified version of the last step.]

You relax, calm yourself and fully accept the situation. Then you envision what results you want to create, re-assess your current reality and take action that honours reality and moves you toward the results you want.

A key to this process is becoming conscious of each of these stages. When you can mentally identify each stage as it happens, it is easier to see it in the larger context, and then manage your emotional response by shifting to another stage.

You can upshift from lower-level angry reactions to higher stages, changing your emotions as you progress. With practice, you can shift from a "panic" state into a "creating" state much quicker than you might have thought possible.

Practice, Practice, Practice!
Practice may not make you perfect, but it'll make you better. And the road to great always runs through better. So take time to practice this approach.

Although, at first, it will be difficult to practice in the moment, you can, instead, review your game films. You can think back to a time where you reacted badly to something, or someone and then imagine working your way from the "Oh, F@#$" stage to the "Oh, Gawd!" "Oh, Jeez!" "Oh, well" and "OK" stages.

Doing this with a number of previously difficult situations will help prepare you to act more appropriately should a similar event occur in the future.

So, if you want to be more creative than reactive, try this yourself. Practice, practice, practice! And watch your emotional mastery grow. Feel free to let me know how it works for you.
--------
• For more info on Mark Goulston's books, go to:
http://markgoulston.com/books
----------------------------------

PLEASE HELP ME GIVE AWAY MY E-BOOK -
Staying Up In Down Times & Beyond!
========================================================
Here's a recent testimonial from a happy reader:
"I must let you know how much I am still enjoying "Staying Up In Down Times"!!
Your book is accessible, practical, useful and I find myself returning to its pages almost daily to refresh my memory of the principles contained there. Your approach is unique and you are a present and patient teacher. I LOVE this book!!!"
- Amy T., Monterey, CA

If you liked Staying Up In Down Times, please post this link in your Facebook "status" bar:
http://www.bruceelkin.com/staying-up-e-book.html
Every time someone posts the link, we get between 10 and 30 new subscribers! Yahoo!
Without new subscribers, we can't survive. With subscribers, we can thrive!

If you don't have your own copy, go to: http://bit.ly/3EOAEy
---------------------------–

VIDEO: Mark Goulston on "Just Listen"
=============================
In this 1-minute video, Mark gives compelling reasons for just listening.
Check it out at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWLsYWhB3BA&feature=related
---------------------------

QUOTABLE QUOTES
========================================
"The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present."
–Barbara De Angelis

"If you keep thinking "That man has abused me," holding it as a much-cherished grievance, your anger will never be allayed. If you can put down that fury-inducing thought, your anger will lessen. Fury will never end fury, it will just ricochet on and on. Only putting it down will end such an abysmal state."
–Sunnata Vagga

"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean."
–Maya Angelou

"Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy."
–Aristotle

"If we fall, we don't need self-recrimination or blame or anger -- we need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to recommit, to be whole-hearted once again."
–Sharon Salzberg

"Don't look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness. "
–James Thurber
----------------

CAN COACHING HELP YOU CREATE DESIRED RESULTS?
=======================================================
o Are you stuck, stalled or drifting? In transition? Not sure what really matters to you?

o If so, coaching help you clarify what you want, set up an organizing framework that embraces vision and reality, and take then action to make it reality

"I've had other coaches, Bruce. But none helped me develop a structure for creating what matters — with whatever I have to work with! Working in the structure you taught me has enabled me to create a new studio/writing room, a part-time job I love, and I'm half-way through a memoir. I'm learning tons about myself and my new process of creating. Thanks so much!"
–Sonja Simons, Chicago, IL, USA

o Email me with "Coaching Info" as subject line. I'll send my 7-page COACHING INFO PACKAGE.

o Also consider my fr.ee 45-minute consult.
I'd love to chat with you about creating the results you long to create!
-------------

Have a simple yet rich, joyful and flourishing week.
Cheers!
Bruce
***************************************************
>BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional Life/Work Design & Transition Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
****************************************************