Create What Matters Most

CREATING HAPPINESS?

2008-04-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

************************************************
"SIMPLY SUCCESS" - April 29, 2008
=======================================
>Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work
Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach
Personal - Professional - Organizational
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold!
To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom.
**************************************************

Hi All!
This will be the last post of "Simply Success" for a month. Next
week, I head to the Canadian Rockies to celebrate a big birthday,
and hang out with old friends from an important time in my life.

I'm looking forward to re-connecting, relaxing, and reflecting on
my life, work, and future I most want to create. (This will be only
the second non-working or writing vacation I've taken in 10 years),

While doing so, I will ponder reflections made by my colleague Tom
Hueuerman in his piece "Vital Aging", which describes the joys and
challenges of striving to live well in the "last third of life."

http://www.amorenaturalway.com/pamphlets/detail.asp?ID=153

I really looking forward to this vacation, and to the life that
follows.

And, at the other end of the great arc of life -- for those of you
in the Vancouver area, or who know folks Greater Vancouver,
check out this environmental day-camp program to help kids develop
a solid appreciation for the Earth and its systems: "Friends
Uniting for Nature" --
www.funcamps.ca
-- are taking registrations for the summer now. Check them out!

Disclosure: my lovely daughter developed and will coordinate it!
--------------

>PREVIEW
=========
This week's post includes:
• The link to "Vital Aging" above,
• A piece on "Stumbling Into Happiness,"
• Links to 2 fascinating TED talks on "Happiness",
• The usual "quotable quotes, and
• A list of tools and resources I recommend.
--------------------------------

>STUMBLING INTO HAPPINESS
====================

When I was a young high school teacher, a student put up a poster
in my room. On it was a picture of a butterfly sitting on a leaf.

The text read, "Happiness is like a butterfly. If you chase after
it, it flies away. But if you just sit quietly and wait, it will
sometimes light on your shoulder.

It sounded good to me, stressed and harried as I was with the
vicissitudes of teaching 5 times 30 kids a day, in a
bureaucracy-ridden school system that seemed more focused on
perpetuating itself than truly bringing out the best in kids.

Sitting quietly and waiting for that butterfly seemed like a good
and sane thing to do. I quit teaching in schools and became a
free-lance experiential educator.

As I got older, wiser, and further removed from fossilized forms of
educating, I realized that happiness was not just something you
waited for. I was much happier working with kids -- and adults --
outdoors, and in the mountains, than I'd been in schools.

Along the way, I discovered Barry Neill Kaufman, founder of The
Option Institute, who wrote the book "Happiness Is
A Choice." That approach fit better for me.

I've practiced choosing happiness ever since. In my creating work,
the choice to be happy is one of what we call "foundation choices"
-- one of the guiding values we orient our lives by.

Still there were times that, in spite of choosing to be happy, I
was not. I knew that choice by itself was not enough, and that you
had to also take action. But which actions?

I spent many years pondering that question and finally decided that
the answer was creating almost anything with meaning that engages
you with life. And absorbs you in the process of creating.

Through learning and mastering the process of CREATING what matters
most, I learned that happiness emerges from the process, from the
doing, as well as from the result. And that sometimes, you just
stumble on happiness as you move from creation to creation.

Recently, I came across two interesting approaches to
happiness that I would like to share with you.
The first, "Stumbling On Happiness", by Daniel Gilbert is also the
subject of the fascinating TED talk that you can access at
< http://tinyurl.com/5rsjcl >.

Gilbert questions whether we can accurately predict what will make
us happy, or sad. He takes us on a scientific exploration to sort
outthe underpinnings of happiness.

As the title suggests, he thinksthat we overrate our ability to
control our lives and the world, and are more likely to stumble on
happiness than create it. It's an interesting approach and the
simple science he shares is illuminating.

But, I, like Mathieu Ricard (the Dalai Llama's French translator,
and ex-scientist turned Buddhist monk) believe that you can create
happiness.

Ricard, in his book "Happiness" calls it life's most important
skill, and offers an array of examples and exercises for
cultivating happiness, or true well-being. View his TED talk on
"Habits of Happiness" at: http://tinyurl.com/3tlopa

Naturally, much of what Ricard says is based on Buddhist teachings
such as detaching ourselves from the objects of our desires,
shifting from "needing" things and experiences to "wanting" them,
and learning to notice and change our thoughts.

Also, bringing us full circle to the butterfly quote above, he
recommends mindful meditation -- just sitting quietly and watching
your thoughts flow by -- as a technique for creating happiness. If
you do it right, and practice consistently, that butterfly just
might light on your shoulder.

So whether happiness is a choice, or a skill, or something that
just happens to us and we stumble over it, it is a critical part of
our lives. We do best to pay attention to it, and cultivate it, or
the spaces in which it can emerge.

What makes you happy?

What do you do to make yourself happy?

What more could you do to create happiness, or to up your chances
of stumbling on it? Now? And in the future?
---------------------------

> ARE YOU DOING WHAT YOU LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE?
Would you like to CREATE what truly matters to you in life/work?
=========================================
I work with competent, capable people who are stuck, stalled, or
struggling with complicated life/work challenges.

I help them develop the SKILLS, STRUCTURE, and SUPPORT to make the
complex simple, and create RESULTS that matter. I encourage and
support PRACTICE as they turn visions into reality!

>If you would like my fr.ee 7-page info package, e-mail me with
"Coaching Info" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com

I can help you find what you love-and create a life that shows it!

I am interviewing now for late May to July, and into the summer.
If you're interested, I recommend you let me know ASAP.

>I'll be away May 8 to 27 to celebrate my birthday. So, if you're
interested in early summer coaching, act now. E-mail me with
"Coaching Info" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com
---------------

>QUOTABLE QUOTES:
=============
"One must practice the things which produce happiness, since if
that is present we have everything and if it is absent we do
everything in order to have it."
Epicurus

"One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make
happiness; one only stumbles upon them by chance, in a lucky hour,
at the world's end somewhere, and holds fast to the days, as to
fortune or fame."
-- Willa Cather

"Happiness does not come automatically. It is not a gift that good
fortune bestows upon us and a reversal of fortune takes back. It
depends on us alone. One does not become happy overnight, but with
patient labor, day after day. Happiness is constructed, and that
requires effort and time. In order to become happy, we have to
learn how to change ourselves."
-- Luca And Francesco Cavalli-Sforza

"Seeking happiness outside ourselves is like waiting for sunshine
in a cave facing north."
Tibetan Saying

"A good life is one that is characterized by complete absorption in
what one does."
- Jeanne Nakamura & Mihaly Cziksentmihalyi
--------------------

Your happiness is important! Watch the videos. Read the books.

Think about what makes you happy, and what can do to increase your
chances of stumbling on true happiness. Are you doing any of these
things, now? What else could you do?

If there is any way I can help you with life design, high
performance, or getting unstuck, please let me know. It may not
make you happy overnight, but it will sure increase your chances of
stumbling on it.

Enjoy!
Bruce
**************************************************
> BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
**************************************************

APPRECIATING WHAT YOU DO!

2008-04-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

************************************************
"SIMPLY SUCCESS" - April 23, 2008
=======================================
>Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work
Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach
Personal - Professional - Organizational
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold!
To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom.
**************************************************

Hi ,
Happy Belated Earth Day! Indeed, why don't we make every day Earth Day. After all, all of our health, wealth, and well-being ultimately depend on the Earth and the natural systems of life that sustain us.

Maybe if we thought about that for a few minutes each day, and appreciated the Earth for its life-sustaining systems, we would be a bit more careful about how we interact with those systems.

The Institute of HeartMath has produced a beautiful short video to help us practice appreciate the Earth -- and anything else. You can download and view it here:
http://images.heartmath.com/emletter/emnews_v9_08.html

You can also download a f.ree eBook called Applied Appreciation.

And, for those of you in the Vancouver area, or who know folks in the Vancouver area, check out this new and exciting-looking day-camp program to help kids develop a solid appreciation for the Earth and its systems: "Friends Uniting for Nature."
www.funcamps.ca

They are taking registrations for the summer now.
--------------

>PREVIEW
=========
This week's post includes:
• A guest post on Appreciating What You HAVE Done!,
• The two great links above,
• The usual "quotable quotes, and
• A list of tools and resources I recommend.
--------------------------------

>Guest Article: In keeping with the theme of "change your mind, change your life" that we've been exploring the last few weeks, I want to share this next piece by one of my ex-clients and now well-known coach Julia Menard. It clear outlines how changing your thoughts about what you do, or don't do, can change the way you feel -- and act!

>CELEBRATING ACCOMPLISHMENTS, by Julia Menard
===================================
> For many years, I've had an "oppressive" relationship with time. Time felt in short supply to me. But, recently, I had a breakthrough with my "time-poverty consciousness."

Over this last month, I started to focus my consciousness each day on what I am accomplishing (instead of merely reviewing what I haven't yet completed.) I knew about this "technique" for years. So, I knew it was a good thing to do - but I wasn't doing it.

But something clicked for me over this last month. The "technique" I knew about turned into a "practice" - something I actually can feel in my body, and am not just doing by rote.

How did this shift happen?

Firstly, I noticed my habit of reviewing my day, focusing on what I had NOT accomplished.

I also noticed that as I made my mental checklist of all the things I didn't do that day and all the things I still needed to do, my body reacted. I felt drained.

That awareness was important, because the more aware I was of what I said to myself after I'd finished any work period - aware of both my thoughts and my body - the more I was able to catch myself before I cranked up the list.

When I was aware the effect of my thoughts on my body, I saw that I could choose to do things another way. So I approached the daily review as more like a game. Something fun to try (vs. another "thing" I "need to do").

Luckily, my husband was more than happy to share in this game. That also helped because I could vocalize my accomplishments to someone else.

I would check-in with him at mid-day and tell him what I had done that morning. No more talk about what I had not yet done - I was there to celebrate. Just what I did that morning!

Oh it was tempting to say: "I didn't get done the taxes yet!" But instead I made the deliberate choice to share something I DID do, such as, "I'm happy to say I got the childcare receipts portion of our taxes done!"

Shift. Right there. My mind felt better and so did my body. As the days wore on, I started to notice that I could celebrate even the smallest of accomplishments: "I added up the expenses for meals and entertainment in my business!" Suddenly, there was a lot to celebrate - and it was fun and elevated my mood.

Most importantly I noticed this practice generated more energy for the tasks ahead versus the old habit that would leave me tired and overwhelmed.

Now, I notice my accomplishments without having to share them out loud. I just say to myself, "Hey - I've already completed the Negotiation section of this ezine and now I'm on to the final line of this section. Well done!
-----------------------
Julia Menard is a Victoria, BC based Life Coach, Mediator, and Trainer. She also published the excellent eNewsletter HEN (Health, Environment, Negotiation) that appears monthly on the full moon. You can contact her at: www.makeandbelieve.com
---------------------------

> ARE YOU DOING WHAT YOU LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE?
Would you like to create what truly matters to you in life/work?
=========================================
I work with competent, capable people who are stuck, stalled, or struggling with complicated life/work challenges.

I help them develop the SKILLS, STRUCTURE, and SUPPORT to make the complex simple, and create RESULTS that matter. I encourage and support PRACTICE as they turn visions into reality!

>If you would like my fr.ee 7-page info package, e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com

I can help you find what you love-and create a life that shows it!

I am interviewing now for late May to July, and into the summer. If you're interested, I recommend you let me know ASAP.

>I'll be away May 8 to 27 to celebrate a special birthday. So, if you're interested in early summer coaching, act now. E-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com
---------------

>QUOTABLE QUOTES:
=============
"Learning how to appreciate more consistently offers many benefits and applications. Appreciation is an easy heart frequency to activate and it can help shift your perspectives quickly. Learning how to appreciate both pleasant and even seemingly unpleasant experiences is a key to increased fulfillment."
-- Doc Childre and Sara Paddision, HeartMath Program

"Being grateful. That's the first step to the path of Joy."
-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

"In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy."
-- Albert Clarke

"Appreciation is easy even if it starts out kind of snide like, "I appreciate the fact I haven't fallen flat on my face ... yet." After a couple of stabs at it, you're going to stumble across one that sincerely touches you. Maybe it's your friends, your partner, your loved ones. One strong dose of appreciation can turn your perceptions around 180 degrees.
-- Doc Childre and Howard Martin, The HeartMath Solution

“It’s all in your perception. If you see your tasks in life as drudgery, then they are drudgery. On the other hand, if you see them as gifts of the Universe manifest through you, then your tasks are done in the spirit of love and generosity. You step out of your ordinary life and make it extraordinary. Little by little, you realize that your life truly makes a difference and you are filled with a wondrous sense of gratitude and abundant flow. A heavenly feeling, indeed! Yes, it’s all in your perception.”
-- Susan Jeffers

The question is not what a man can scorn, or disparage, or find fault with, but what he can love, value and appreciate.
-- John Ruskin
--------------------

Do take a few minutes to watch the video, and practice heart-felt appreciation. It'll give you a nice, pleasant glow.

And if there is any way I can help you with life design, high performance, or getting unstuck, please let me know.

Enjoy!
Bruce
**************************************************
> BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
**************************************************

SUCCEEDING WITH WHAT LIFE GIVES YOU!

2008-04-15T16:34:00.000-07:00

************************************************
"SIMPLY SUCCESS" - April 15, 2008
=======================================
>Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work
Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach
Personal - Professional - Organizational
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold!
To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom.
**************************************************

Hi all,
Thank you for all the good-hearted chiding about my April 1st
edition. Some of the responses definitely "got me" back.
I appreciated you turning the joke back on me.

The weather here has been changing rapidly. From cool and damp to
hot and sunny and back to cool, damp and windy. But, hey, it's the
weather. Although as a regular topic of conversation, it does add
some social glue, it's not something we can do anything about!

It's a given! And that's what I want to talk about this week.
--------------

>PREVIEW
=========
This week's post includes:
• A piece on "Working What Life Gives US",
• A new link to an article of mine about "The 7 Practices of
Creating What Matters",
• A link to a wonderful, and inspiring video.
• New Tools and Resources that I recommend.
--------------------------------

> WORKING WITH WHAT LIFE GIVES US
==============================
Following on from our discussions about the importance of
recognizing and managing your self-talk, it will be coming clear
that we hold both functional beliefs and dysfunctional beliefs.

And one of the keys to success is to choose to act on the
functional beliefs, and let the dysfunctional beliefs dissolve with
dis-use.

But, many of us believe our dysfunctional beliefs. And, if we
think dysfunctional beliefs are true, that they are inviolable laws
of the universe, then, when those laws are broken, we will likely
get very upset.

However, no law says you should do well.

It is not written that others should treat you well.

No statute says life, or any part of it, should be easy.

It is rational and useful to desire to do well, to prefer that
people treat you well, and to want things to be easy. But, when
you turn desires into demands—musts, shoulds, oughts, etc…—you pit
yourself against reality.

As a friend advised, “In the battle between you and Reality, always
bet on Reality.”

Besides, when you “should” on yourself, other people, and the
world, you end up “full of should.” Who wants that?

Demand-driven “shoulds” make you frustrated and disappointed. They
create anger, anxiety, and depression. You'd do better to learn to
work with reality as it is.

Working with reality as you create what matters to you eases your
stress, dissolves distress, and more consistently leads to the real
and lasting results you long for

GOING WITH THE GIVENS
You do best when you accept life’s givens, and work with them.

I gave an important talk to a large, potential corporate client's
staff, during which the power to my microphone and PowerPoint
projector failed. At first, I was up to my neck in dysfunctional
beliefs: "This should not be happening." "I'll never get my points
across, and never win this client." "I'm doomed."

But, after nearly 30 years of practice with working with the
givens, I quickly settled myself down. It was happening, and I
still wanted to do well, and win the corporate contract.

So, I had the organizers bring me a whiteboard and drew my graphics
as well as I could, and shouted out my talk to those in the back of
the auditorium. Later, people came up to tell me how great they
thought my talk was, and how well I'd walked that talk!

I got the contract.

I worked with the givens that day. I took what life gave me, and
did the best I could with what I got. People appreciated that. I
succeeded in spite of adversity.

If you accept and work with what life gives you, too, you can
succeed.

You won’t always do well.

People will not always treat you as you think they should.

And life isn’t always easy.

These three givens are bedrock facts of your existence. You ignore
or deny them at your peril.

But when you acknowledge these givens, and do your best in spite of
them, you are more likely to succeed at what matters, and to reap
the internal and external rewards of doing so.

Recognizing dysfunctional beliefs is the first step in creating a
more functional way of thinking and acting.

Changing your thoughts and beliefs changes how you feel and act.
It changes the results you produce. It can change your life.

TECHNIQUE TO BURN
Insight and understanding are important. But, by themselves, they
do not lead to real and lasting change, or results. To master
these emotional mastery skills, and be able to use them when you
need them, you need what jazz musicians call “technique to burn.”

By technique to burn, musicians mean having more skill than you
would ever need for any given situation.

To achieve such mastery, and make it your habitual way of dealing
with difficulties and adversity, you need to practice, practice,
practice.

Repetition breeds habit formation.

Researchers, for example, found that rats can solve a puzzle
flawlessly after practicing it (and being rewarded with food) 100
times. After 200 repetitions, they can do the puzzle habitually,
automatically—without rewards.

Researchers found that such extensive practice actually changes the
shape and structure of a rat’s brain. Other researchers found the
same thing happens when any highly trained specialist practices
enough. Their brains change.

Musicians who practice five or more hours a day, and Buddhist monks
who practice meditation for 10,000 plus hours, actually rewire
their brains.

They increase their neural capacity. They develop technique to
burn. So, too can you!

By practicing noticing and changing your self-talk, you will get
better at it.

By practicing working with what life gives you, you will get better
at it.

By practicing creating what you truly want-- independent of what
life gives you -- you'll much more likely succeed in creating the
kind and quality of life and work you MOST want.

So, once again, the key to success is practice, practice, practice!
---------------------------

>A NEW POSTING OF ANOTHER OF MY ARTICLES
================================
Here's another article of mine, recently published in a blog called
Aussie Resumes. You have to scroll past another piece to get to
mine, which is called CREATING SUCCESS: 7 Practices for Creating
What Matters MOST in Life and Work.

http://tinyurl.com/6gfk43

While you're there, check out the Aussie Resume site. Good stuff!
------------------------

> ARE YOU DOING WHAT YOU LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE?
Would you like to create what TRULY matters to you in life/work?
=========================================
I work with competent, capable people who are stuck, stalled, or
struggling with complicated life/work challenges.

I help them develop the SKILLS, STRUCTURE, and SUPPORT to make the
complex simple, and to get going on what matters. I encourage and
support PRACTICE as they turn visions into reality!

I can help you find what you love-and create a life that shows it!

I only have space for 2 new clients at the moment, but am
interviewing now for late May to July, and into the summer.

>I'll be away in mid-May to celebrate a special birthday. So, act
now, if you're interested in early summer coaching.

>If you would like my fr.ee 7-page info package, e-mail me with
"Coaching Info" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com
---------------

>FEEL GOOD VIDEO (WITH A MESSAGE)
==========================
Many of you may have seen this video of Randy Pausch's Last Lecture.
If you haven't, or if you just want to watch the highlights, check
this out:

http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=223

Randy has terminal cancer, but this talk is so upbeat, funny, and
moving that I just had to share it with you. It's the short
version, but there is a link to the longer version which just aired
on the ABC network. Very worthwhile!!!
-------------------

>QUOTABLE QUOTES:
=============
"Crisis is not always bad; it can become a turning point in your
life for the better. Yes, it can bring danger and upset, but it
also carries with it opportunity for growth and change. As you try
to discover a way to cope with crisis, you could discover a new and
better way of living."
-- H. Norman Wright

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly
proclaiming--Wow!--What a ride!"
-- Erma Bombeck

"Buddha left a road map, Jesus left a road map, Krishna left a road
map, Rand McNally left a road map. But you still have to travel the
road yourself."
-- Stephen Levine

"For me, security is not knowing what's going to happen. Because if
I don't know, it could be terrific."
-- Gloria Steinem
--------------------

Do take a few minutes to watch the video. It'll make your day.
And if there is any way I can help you with life design, high
performance, or getting unstuck, please let me know.

Enjoy!
Bruce
**************************************************
> BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
**************************************************

> USEFUL TOOLS AND RESOURCES I USE & RECOMMEND:
================================

>WEBSITE AND MARKETING TOOLS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Thinking about creating or upgrading your website? Want a better
marketing approach?
* Check out this FR.EE Marketing Starter Kit at:
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714

* For info or to purchase a copy of THE WEBSITE TOOLKIT,
please go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714

* THE ACTION PLAN TOOL KIT can make designing and
Implementing a marketing plan easier, effective, and fun.
Go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714

I use these tools with great results and recommend them without
reservation. And Robert has recently made some great updates to
the Website Toolkit.
----------------------

>TOOLS FOR COACHES AND WANNABE COACHES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christian Mickleson helped Robert Middleton build his mailing list
to over 50,000 names. I get great value from his newsletter. He
offers these programs that I recommend.

1) The Coaching Business Rocket Launcher:
A fr.ee program to help coaches generate more clients.
http://www.profcs.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=765965

2) Free Sessions That Sell: The Client Enrollment System
A more detailed approach to doing free talks, and enrolling clients.
http://tinyurl.com/3gogv6

He's got lots more programs but these 2 will get you started.
----------------------

>TOOLS FOR WRITERS AND WANNABE WRITERS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Judy Cullins is a bookcoach who specializes in helping writers and
other independent professionals write ebooks that sell, and do so
quickly. I've used the products and find them very helpful.

Write Your eBook or Other Short Book - Fast!
http://belkin35.bookcoach1.hop.clickbank.net/

Advanced Article Marketing - 3 Book Special
http://belkin35.articlemkt.hop.clickbank.net/

Ten Non-Techie Ways to Market Your Book Online
http://belkin35.nontechie1.hop.clickbank.net/
===============================

Change Your Self-Talk; Change Your Life!

2008-04-01T07:29:00.000-07:00

************************************************
"SIMPLY SUCCESS" - March 19, 2008
=======================================
>Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work
Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach
Personal - Professional - Organizational
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold!
To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom.
**************************************************

Hi {!firstname},
This will be the last edition of this newsletter. I'm quitting.

On Saturday night, I won $4.5 million in the Lotto 649. I bought a
small island in the Bahamas, and am moving there next week. I'll
live in my yacht while my new 5500 square foot "green" home is
built. Thanks for your support over the years.

Gotcha!? April Fools Day!
[Apologies to those across the IDL for being a day late.]
--------------------------------------------

>PREVIEW
=========
This week's post includes:
- A follow up piece on Monitoring Your Self Talk,
- A new link to an article of mine about "Vision In the Creative
Process", and
- A link to a video wonderful, short, but inspiring video.
And, as always some "quotable quotes" for your fridge!
--------------------------------

>CHANGE YOUR SELF-TALK; CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
==============================
Describe Reality; Don't Judge It
If you've been reading this newsletter for a while, you'll know
that CREATING desired results involves:
1) crafting a clear,compelling vision of what you want to create,
2) grounding it in an objective description of reality, and then
3) taking action in the gap between vision and reality to move
from where you are toward the result you want to create.

[For more about vision in the creative process, see link below.]

Many clients come to me because they want to clarify what they want.

But one of the main reasons they can't clarify their vision of what
they want is that they tend to distort their current reality using
judgmental self-talk.

To be accurate and objective about reality, you have to describe
it. Don't judge it.

A simple example. You're lightly dressed and walk into a room, and
remark, "It is freezing in here!" Another person, heavily dressed
disagrees. "What? It's sweltering in here!"

While each person's reality is true for them, both are based on
judgments about theirexternal environment (the room), rather than
descriptions of how they personally feel. Their judgmental
self-talk distorts their perception of reality. An argument breaks
out.

This used to happen on the first night of almost every one of the
Creating workshops I used to run. How did I handle it? I'd ask
both persons to check the thermostat, which I always kept set at 70
degrees F.

Then, when they agreed that room was neither "freezing" nor
"sweltering", I'd suggest the heavily dressed person share a
sweater with the lightly dressed person. Both would be happy, and
we'd get on with the workshop.

To describe a thing, even, person (... whatever) is to state its
characteristics, its appearance. Descriptions are best based on
facts. As well as being accurate and objective, they are
emotionally neutral.

To judge is to draw a conclusion or form an opinion about reality.

Opinions are more like editorials than fact-based reporting.
Opinions can get in the way of objectivity. They can prevent us
from accurately seeing the facts of what we're looking at.

So, to assess current reality accurately and objective, look
closely and carefully at what is, or what happens, and simply state
what you see.

An accurate and objective description of your current reality
provides you with a solid platform on which to take action toward
your desired result.

Along with a clear vision, describing reality objectively -- without
exaggeration or distortion, without making it better or worse,
without adding opinion or interpretation -- helps you set up an
effective organizing framework for taking action and creating
results.

Don't "Should" On Yourself, Others, or the World
Another way I help clients monitor their self-talk is point out
when they "should" on themselves, others, or the world.

Ground-breaking psychologist Albert Ellis summed up nearly seventy
years of research into dysfunctional thinking by saying that three
main beliefs account for most of the misery most of us suffer.

They are:
- I must do well.
- You must treat me well.
- The world must be easy.

You can substitute the words "should," "ought to," "have to," and
"need to" for "must." They all have the same dysfunctional effect.

Wait! It gets worse. The belief, "I must do well," implies, "I
must always do well, at everything I do. And if I don't, it must
be awful, terrible, and horrible."

You conclude, "I can't stand it!"

These beliefs are irrational. They do not square with reality. It
is impossible to live up to the demands of such absolute rules.

Each time we fail to live up to them, we feel conflict between
what we think we (or others, or the world) MUST do or be, and how
things really are.

Such irrational beliefs quickly lead to irrational feelings and
ineffective actions.

This kind of grandiose thinking can be very damaging to our
emotional mastery.

Most of us should and must much more than we realize. But once
you're aware you do it, it becomes much easier to stop doing it.

Once my clients notice their "shoulds," I help them change their
grandiose demands into more reasonable preferences.

Statements such as, "I want...," "I prefer...," "I would like to
have...," work far better than "I should...," or "I must...."

Better yet, "I choose...," generates a deeper level of commitment and
generates more energy to act on behalf of what you are committing
to do.

So, to better ground your visions in accurate, objective, and
emotionally neutral description of current reality, describe
reality, don't judge it. And don't should on yourself, others, or
the world.

If you learn to do these two things, you'll be a LOT happier. And
creating what truly matters to you will be much, much easier.
---------------------------

>A NEW POSTING OF ONE OF MY ARTICLES
===========================
This article, VISION IN THE CREATIVE PROCESS, may help you sort out
the differences between the terms "purpose, "mission" and "vision".
[The photo was taken in the Saturday Market on Saltspring Island,
a casual time, when I was just takin' it easy.]

http://www.secondjourney.org/NEWSLTR_NDX.htm
----------------------

> ARE YOU DOING WHAT YOU TRULY LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE?
Would you like to create what matters MOST to you in life/work?
=========================================
I work with capable people who are stuck, stalled, or struggling
with complicated life/work challenges.

I help them develop the SKILLS, STRUCTURE, and SUPPORT to make the
complex simple, and get going on what matters. I also encourage
and support practice as they turn visions into reality!

I can help you find what you love-and create a life that shows it!

> Clarifying your own purpose, mission, and vision -- and how to
implement them -- can help you make this year your best ever!

My practice is full at the moment, and I am taking a waiting list.
Spaces will come open soon for April/May and into the summer.

I'll be taking time off in mid-May to celebrate a special birthday.
So, act now, if you're interested in spring/early summer coaching.

>If you would like my fr.ee 7-page info package, e-mail me with
"Coaching Info" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com
---------------

>FEEL GOOD VIDEO (WITH A MESSAGE)
==========================
Have your read the reports or seen the video footage of the 13 year
old girl with autism who learned to speak through a computer?

Fantastic! I saw it on TV, to don't have a link. But it's
engaging not just because it's a feel good story, but also because
it challenges conventional ideas about what we call "autism."

So does this video. And I guarantee it'll make you feel good.
It's short, too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zENySdFr7M4
-------------------

>QUOTABLE QUOTES:
=============
"[People] often become what they believe themselves to be. If I
believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it.
But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even
if I didn't have it in the beginning."
-- Mahatma Gandhi

"Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person
doing it."
- Chinese Proverb

"The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues
with what is." When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we
want.
-- Byron Katie

"Watch your thoughts: they become your words. Watch your words;
they become your actions. Watch you actions; they become your
habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your
character for it will become your destiny."
-- Frank Outlaw

"Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is being who
you are."
-- Another Chinese Proverb
--------------------

Do take a few minutes to watch the video. It'll make your day.
And if there is any way I can help you, please let me know.

Enjoy!
Bruce
**************************************************
> BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
**************************************************

> USEFUL RESOURCES AND TOOLS I RECOMMEND:
================================
>Thinking about creating or upgrading your website? Want a better
marketing approach? Check out this FR.EE Marketing Starter Kit at:
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714

* For info or to purchase a copy of THE WEBSITE TOOLKIT,
please go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714

* THE ACTION PLAN TOOL KIT can make designing and
Implementing a marketing plan easier, effective, and fun.
Go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714

I use these tools with great results and recommend them without
reservation. And Robert has recently made some great updates to
the Website Toolkit. Great stuff!
----------------------------

REMARKABLE RESILIENCY!

2008-03-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

SELF-TALK, RESULTS, AND FEELING GREAT!

2008-03-11T12:07:00.000-07:00

************************************************
"SIMPLY SUCCESS" - March 11, 2008
=======================================
>Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work
Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach
Personal - Professional - Organizational
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold!
To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom.
**************************************************

Hi ,
After pondering the results from my survey, I've decided to shoot for 3 posts per month, with 1 longer, and 2 shorter posts. I think this will satisfy the greatest number of readers -- and fit well into my schedule.

Thanks again to all those who wrote in with their preferences and opinions. Your support and help were much appreciated.
-----------------

MONITORING YOUR SELF-TALK; INCREASING RESULTS!
===================================
Monitoring your self-talk is an excellent way to ground yourself in current reality, and to create a solid base for actions that support your visions of desired results.

Psychologists call self-talk by different names: roof brain chatter, ticker tape talk, monkey mind, gremlin thoughts, the little reprobate that lives in the attic of your mind.

Whatever you call it, self-talk is the almost constant stream of thoughts, beliefs, stories, judgments, and conclusions that run through your mind.

We usually don’t know we’re doing it. Nor do we realize how strongly it affects our moods and behaviours. But we talk to ourselves about our lives, our actions, other people, and their actions. We chatter away about what happens to us, what we think about what happens, and what we think we shoulda, coulda, and woulda done about what happened to us.

Unfortunately, this constant nattering mostly happens outside our conscious awareness. That’s why it is difficult to monitor and change it.

It is important to monitor self-talk because it affects your moods and emotions—and your actions are motivated by your emotions. “Emote” means, “to move."

Unmonitored, self-talk—and the emotions it generates—can move you in ways you don’t want to move.
Methods for monitoring and changing self-talk are sometimes quite simple. They can also be quite sophisticated.

Meditation
Meditation is a sophisticated way to monitor your self-talk.

Meditation techniques were designed, in part, to still mind chatter so practitioners could experience “the peace that passes all understanding,” and access the deeper insight and wisdom that arises out of such peace.

Here’s what meditation teacher Eknath Easwaran says about the detachment from “problems” meditation can bring us:

"Some of the chronic problems that millions of people suffer from today might be solved by gaining a little detachment from their minds and emotions, so they can stand back a little when the mind is agitated and see the ways in which it makes mountains out of molehills. Many problems simply are not real; they start to seem real only when we dwell on them. The thorniest problems to solve are those that are not real; yet most of us go on giving them our best efforts."

There are numerous forms of meditation. It is not my place to advise you on types or techniques of meditation, only to say I know from experience that practicing meditation can be an excellent way to quiet and calm your mind.

If you’re not familiar with meditation and/or are nervous about it, I suggest you check out Herbert Benson’s book The Relaxation Response. Benson is a Harvard Medical Doctor who studied meditators and developed a non-religious relaxation technique that appears to provide many of the benefits of meditation.

Another excellent resource is Matthew Ricard’s book Happiness: A Guide To Developing Life’s Most Important Skill.
Ricard was a cellular biologist before he moved to the Himalayas to study and practice Buddhism. Twenty-five years later, he is the Dalai Lama’s French translator, and a key figure in the attempt to bring together ancient wisdom and modern science.
As well as outlining an excellent case for the benefits of meditation, Ricard’s book also describes specific techniques for practicing it.

Here are some other self-talk monitoring techniques I use with my clients.

Notice Trigger Words
During coaching sessions, I point out how often some clients use words such as should, must, have to, never, ever, but, can’t, every, always, everything, nothing, totally, etc….

Such words can be negative “trigger words” that cause you to exaggerate, judge, and catastrophize reality, and then feel awful as a result.

A client might, for example, say something such as, “Oh, I can’t do that.”

I stop them, and ask them to notice the “can’t.” I ask them to notice what saying “can’t” does for them. They usually say it makes them feel bad, stops them from acting, and erodes their hope for success.

I ask them to repeat the sentence and add “yet” to the end of it. Saying, “I can’t do that, yet,” makes a significant difference in their feelings and actions.

I recommend you try this yourself. Here’s an exercise to help.

Think of something that you’d love to be able to do but cannot. Preferably it should be something you have tried and failed.
Think about it, and then say, “I can not do that.” And note how you feel.

Then, imagine the same scenario, but this time say, “I can not do that, yet.”

Notice how your feeling shifts.

When they add “yet” to the sentence, most people say they feel “uplifted,” or “hopeful.” They feel inclined to act, to find a way to do what they can’t yet do.

You can do the a similar thing with the words “and” and “but.”

From “Yeah, but…” to “Yes, and…”
When they first start coaching, many clients say, “I want this but….”

Then they list problems, obstacles, and circumstances they imagine prevent them from producing the results.

In such a “Yeah, but…” structure, the “but” negates the “yeah,” the desire, and stops the client from acting on it. It’s no wonder they do not achieve their desired results.

Once they realize that the “yeah, but…” form is dysfunctional, I suggest my clients substitute “and” for "but.”
I ask them to say, “I want this and…”, then fill in the relevant current reality, including the factors that are already in place, those working on their behalf, and any they perceive as problems or obstacles.

It is critical to separate results and current reality. We do not want reality to influence vision. When you create, you want what you want, regardless of current reality.

To be effective, your vision of desired results must reflect what you truly want.

It is best to start with a clear, compelling vision of a result you truly want, and acknowledge current reality, as it is. Then, make changes to reality until it matches your vision.

If you say, “I want to create a house by water, but I don’t have the money,” the "but" (and the negative emotions it causes) negates the desire. Your "but" cancels out your desired result. You feel deflated, even defeated.
And all before you’ve even really started creating!

Shifting to a “yes and…” form changes things significantly.

When you say, “I want to create a house by water and I don’t have money,” the and links the two statements in a way that maintains your desire, honours your current reality, and leads you to take action to close the gap between vision and reality.
It works even better if you say, “I don’t have the money, yet.”

You might therefore conclude: “I'd do well to save each month, and think about ways to increase my income.”

Or you might think, “Maybe I can start by house-sitting a house by water and test if I really want to devote time and energy to making that dream a reality.”
Either way, you stop defeating yourself and move toward the result you want.

So as well as getting clear about what you want to create, also monitor the thoughts, stories, and words you use to describe your current reality. Combining meditation with daily self-talk monitoring is an incredibly powerful way to create a solid platform for effective action -- and results!

It can also make you feel great!
--------------------------------

> ARE YOU DOING WHAT YOU LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE?
Would you like to create what truly matters to you in life/work?
=========================================
I work with capable people who are stuck, stalled, or struggling with complicated life/work challenges.

I help them develop the SKILLS, STRUCTURE, and SUPPORT to make the complex simple, and get going on what matters. I also encourage and support practice as they turn visions into reality!

I can help you find what you love-and create a life that shows it!

> NOW is a great time to re-assess purpose, direction, and action. It is a great time to enter into a coaching relationship. It can help you make this year, your best year ever!

My practice is full at the moment, and I'm taking a waiting list. Spaces will come open soon for late-March and April.

I'll be taking some time off in mid-May to celebrate a special birthday. So, act now, if you're interested in spring coaching.

>If you would like my fr.ee 7-page info package, e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com
---------------

>QUOTABLE QUOTES:
=============
"The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvas of our lives."
-- Louise Hay

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world."
-- Buddha

"Life does not consist of mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head."
-- Mark Twain

"The demands -- heard from pole to pole, for freedom, justice, security, equality, education, a safe environment, and a better life for the world's children -- are all grounded in, and reach downward to, this elemental human need: silence, solitude, and the right to rule one's own thoughts" the sanity of the inner life."
-- Noel Peattie

"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
-- Norman Vincent Peale
--------------------

Think about your thoughts this week. Notice what you tell yourself. Does your self-talk support your desired results?
If not, gently try to change it.
Enjoy!
Bruce
PS: Nice here today, but the wind threatens to blow the brand-new blossoms off the cherry trees. Oh, my! Life is tough. ☺
**************************************************
> BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
**************************************************

> USEFUL RESOURCES AND TOOLS I RECOMMEND:
================================
Thinking about creating or upgrading your website and marketing approach? I use these tools with great results and recommend them without reservation. And Robert has recently made some great updates to the Website Toolkit. Great stuff!

* For info or to purchase a copy of THE WEBSITE TOOLKIT,
please go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714

* THE ACTION PLAN TOOL KIT can make designing and
Implementing a marketing plan easier, effective, and fun.
Go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714
----------------------------

Excellence In Action!

2008-03-05T14:43:00.000-08:00

************************************************
"SIMPLY SUCCESS" - Feb 26, 2008
=======================================
>Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work
Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach
Personal - Professional - Organizational
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold!
To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom.
**************************************************

Hi ,
I lied last week. I said I'd outline the changes I was going to make in the newsletter this week, but I'm not.

Due to the abrupt on-set of an infected tooth, much pain, helpful drugs, and scheduling for a root canal, which happens shortly, I'm not even doing a short post this week.

Instead, I'm suggesting you watch the following video, preferable with kids, especially if you have young tween or teen daughters. It's about a girl performing at a quarter horse show with no saddle, no bridle, and no reins. It's amazing!

http://www.westfallhorsemanship.com/media/128do.wmv

Check it out. And have hankies ready. I was weeping tears of joy and delight.
This truly is a great example of thousands of hours of practice leading to outstanding results. It uplfted my spirt!
====================

>THIS WEEK'S QUOTES
===================
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit."
-- Aristotle

"I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do the something I can do."
-- Helen Keller

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--Wow!--What a ride!"
-- Erma Bombeck

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
-- George Bernard Shaw

"When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself."
-– Isak Dinesen
===================

That's it for this week. I have a couple of coaching spots opening mid- March, if you're interested.

>If you would like my fr.ee 7-page info package, e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com

All the best!
Bruce
PS It's a glorious, warm sunny day here. The daffodils are popping up all over, as are the crocus and snow drops. Buds are budding. I love it. No showers predicted. ☺
**************************************************
> BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
**************************************************

READER'S RESPOND - SURVEY RESULTS

2008-02-26T15:16:00.000-08:00

Hi All,
Thanks so much to all of you who responded to my little survey last week. Your feedback was very useful, and much appreciated.

>Here are the results from the survey:

Respondents:
100 people responded (10% of the list!). Wow!

Length of Newsletters:
10 thought the newsletters were "too short".
13 thought they were "too long."
72 thought they were "just right."

Frequency of Posts:
5 people thought the frequency should be 1/month.
37 thought it should be 2/month.
12 thought it should 3/month.
38 wanted 4/month.

General Comments:
A number of people took the time to be more specific about what they liked or did not like. Here's a compilation of those comments:

A pretty even split between those who liked the "folksy" first paragraph (usually referring to the weather outside my window) and those who said, "who cares about the weather?" (3/2)

An almost even split (4/5) between those who wanted more on "the basics" and those who wanted more on applying those basics to various areas in life.

7 to 1 in favor of the low-tech approach over a fancier, HTML, or linked approach.

A number of folks suggested I "mix it up" -- with 1 longer post and 2 shorter ones.

Everybody who commented about it (10) loved the quotes section.

On the whole, the feedback was very supportive and useful.

So what am I going to do with it all?

I'm going to think on it for a week, and then decide. If you didn't meet the Feb 24 deadline, and still want to kick in your two bits worth, feel free to email me. I'm still open to suggestions. And, again, thanks to everyone who sent me feedback!!!
==================

THIS WEEK'S QUOTES
===================
"One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes...and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

"A moment of choice is a moment of truth. It's the testing point of our character and competence."
-- Stephen Covey

“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, all that is left is a compromise.”
-- Robert Fritz

"We become truly human only at the moment of decision."
-- Paul Tillich

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all
--Helen Keller
===================

That's it for this week. I have some coaching spots coming open in March, if you're interested. But act quickly; there are only a few.

>If you would like my fr.ee 7-page info package, e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com

All the best!
Bruce

GRATITUDE AND SUCCESS!

2008-02-13T13:49:00.000-08:00

************************************************
"SIMPLY SUCCESS" - Feb 13, 2008
=======================================
>Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work
Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach
Personal - Professional - Organizational
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold!
To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom.
**************************************************

Hi All,
Warm here on the coast, squalls blowing through, and sun streaming through in between. Quite exciting, and feeling very spring-like.

I'm grateful for this time of year, because we can be pretty sure winter is over. The dark, damp tunnel is behind us. Spring and summer are ahead. Hope is in the air. And for that I, who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), am truly grateful.

My suffering is way less now than 30 years ago, before I mastered the techniques for dealing with difficult and negative emotions. Now, I'm only occasionally SAD.

But there's more to managing moods and creating successful results than just rising above negative emotions.

GRATITUDE AND SUCCESS
In my eBook Emotional Mastery: Manage Your Moods and Create What Matters -- With Whatever Life Gives You! I don't just describe how to embrace and transcend negative emotions, and use the energy of creative tension to power effective actions.

I also describe ways to create positive emotions. A good ratio of positive to negative emotions not only makes you feel good, it increases your power to create what matters most to you -- with whatever you have to work with.

One of the most powerful and easy to generate positive emotions is gratitude.

Gratitude means, "being thankful; ready to show appreciation for…."

Many benefits come from practicing gratitude daily. You feel better emotionally and physically. You have less stress and more joy in your life. You experience more exuberance and vitality. You feel more hopeful, and realistically optimistic.

Another benefit of practicing gratitude is that it can make you more successful at what matters to you. When you are grateful and appreciative for the good and beautiful things in your life and work, you tend get more of them. Why?

Because, largely, you tend get what you focus on, and take action to support.

And when you pay attention to and give thanks for what you are grateful for, you focus on what you care about. Energy-robbing negativity fades away.

In its place, you feel the highly energized sense of power that comes from focusing on what truly matters to you. When you put that energy into action, and learn from it, you greatly up your chances of creating what you most want to create.

Being grateful for what is and what happens is a wonderful way to generate positive emotions. Appreciating what you have helps you define life—the Universe—as friendly, a place in which to feel at home, and to thrive and succeed.

And seeing the Universe as a friendly place increases your confidence, allows you to learn, and, thus, increases your competence. Growing competence strengthens your sense of authentic confidence.
The truth is the Universe wants us to succeed.
It wants us to learn, change, and evolve. It wants us to free ourselves from habits that don’t work, and transform ourselves and our species to do what does work. It wants us to enlighten ourselves. It wants us to stretch our consciousness to embrace more and more of Life and the Universe.

The Universe wants us to say “Yes!” to life.

I’m also sure the Universe wants us to say “yes” to ways of living that harmonize with (rather than dominate and exploit) the natural systems of life on which all of our health, wealth and well being depend.

At retreats, before the first evening meal, we read a poem/prayer by Gary Snyder called "Gratitude to Mother Earth." It moves folks to tears, and to a deeper appreciation of the systems of Life on which our food -- and all of our health, wealth, and well being depend.

As we stretch our minds, develop our skills, and learn to live well on a healthy planet, we create ripples of positive emotions. And not just the fleeting, surface emotions, but also deeper, meaningful, life and world changing emotions such as love, enthusiasm, compassion, contentment, and connection to meaning and Spirit.

From such a deep, solid foundation, creating what matters most becomes easier. And although it becomes more challenging, life also gets more engaging, exciting, and fulfilling. The ability to consistently say, “Thank you; I appreciate this!” to life is the most all-encompassing way to produce positive emotions and successful results.

So, how do you practice gratitude?

Start a "gratitude journal" and, each evening; write down 6 or 7 things that you're grateful for, that you appreciate about the day. Writing and reading these notes can fill your heart with pleasant, empowering gratitude.

Practice stopping during the day and just noticing something or someone you appreciate. Say "thanks" to the person, or to the bird with its cheery song, or to the Universe for giving you this day.

Also practice appreciating yourself, just as you are. The Universe don't make no junk!

This might sound hokey. It did to me when I first read about it. But it works!

It makes you feel better. It makes it easier to figure out what you truly want. And it makes it easier to create and sustain those results. Give it a try. You've got nothing to lose and a pleasant, successful, and grateful life to gain.

Oops! The sun is out. Time for a quick walk and suck up the rays.
------------

For more creating positive emotions, see my ebook Emotional Mastery on my website BruceElkin.com.
----------------------------

Here are a couple of recent responses from readers of Emotional Mastery:

"Thank you for writing the book Emotional Mastery. It really changed my life! I felt so vulnerable and volatile before, and now I am able to choose to be confident and calm. I don't know what would have happened to me, if I hadn't run across your book when I did."
-- M. R.

"I stayed up late last night swept away by your book "Emotional Mastery". (Of course now I am exhausted. But that's another story… ;)

"I have been seeing more and more articles on CBT and it's interesting that this revolves around that. I am SO GLAD YOU SENT THIS TO ME!!!! Your candidness about your own experience really touched me. I could relate so much. It just makes me even happier that you are my coach, knowing that you have personally suffered with these problems. You are the real thing.

"Thanks again. Just couldn't wait to tell you about how I love this book."
-- L.N.

>To get your copy of Emotional Mastery, go to
http://www.bruceelkin.com/emotional-mastery.html
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

> ARE YOU DOING WHAT YOU LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE?
Would you like to create what truly matters to you in life/work?
=========================================
I work with capable people who are stuck, stalled, or struggling with complicated life/work challenges.

I help them develop the SKILLS, STRUCTURE, and SUPPORT to make the complex simple, and get going on what matters. I also encourage and support practice as they turn visions into reality!

I can help you find what you love-and create a life that shows it!

> NOW is a great time to re-assess purpose, direction, and action. It is a great time to enter into a coaching relationship. It can help you make this year, your best year ever!

My practice is full at the moment, but I'm taking a waiting list, and spaces will come open soon for March and April. I'll be taking some time off in May to celebrate a special birthday.

>If you would like my fr.ee 7-page info package, e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com
---------------

>FEELING GENEROUS AND HELPFUL?
=================================
I'd love it if you would help me increase my subscription list. Please forward this to anyone you think might like it? The more subscribers we have, the more viable the newsletter is. Even if you can only think of 1 or 2 folks to forward it to, it would be a big help. And I'd deeply appreciate it. Thanks.
----------------
-

>QUOTABLE QUOTES:
=============
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
-- Melody Beattie

"If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul."
-- Rabbi Harold Kushner

"What you put out comes back. The more you sincerely appreciate life from the heart, the more the magnetic energy of appreciation attracts fulfilling life experiences to you, both personally and professionally." -
- Doc Childre and Sara Paddison

"Being grateful. That's the first step to the path of Joy."
-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

“It’s all in your perception. If you see your tasks in life as drudgery, then they are drudgery. On the other hand, if you see them as gifts of the Universe manifest through you, then your tasks are done in the spirit of love and generosity. You step out of your ordinary life and make it extraordinary. Little by little, you realize that your life truly makes a difference and you are filled with a wondrous sense of gratitude and abundant flow. A heavenly feeling, indeed! Yes, it’s all in your perception.”
-- Susan Jeffers

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>If you want help being grateful what you have, even as you create what you truly want, let me know. I'm happy to send you my coaching info package. Just email me with "Coaching Info: as subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com

Have a Happy and Grateful Valentine's Day!
Bruce
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> BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
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Change Your Structure; Change Your Life!

2008-02-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

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"SIMPLY SUCCESS" -January 30, 2008
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>Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work
Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach
Personal - Professional - Organizational
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold!
To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom.
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Hi ,
Nothing special about the weather here this week. Typical mix of wind and rain, but warmer than last. More early flowers appearing. Time to get the bike tuned and oiled.

A lot of people get themselves tuned and oiled this time of year (metaphorically speaking). They resolve to get fit, get healthy, get richer, get friendlier, and, maybe, bring about world peace.

They may read a self-help book or attend a workshop or see a coach or counselor. They're excited, ready to act, looking forward to results. But something happens.

The results don't come easily. Things take longer than they thought. They are harder than they thought they'd be. And things go wrong. People backslide, feel bad, judge themselves negatively, and feel down, and depressed.

Often, they give up the project as a lost cause and slip back into their old ways, feeling that their worst fears about their own inability to create what matters have been confirmed.

Sound familiar?

Here's the good news. It's probably not you or your actions that don't work; it's more likely the STRUCTURE in which you take those actions that doesn't work.

All action takes place within a structure -- an organizing framework -- that guides your actions and influences your results. For most, that structure is unconscious, unseen. They are not aware of it.

So they can't change it, and, to truly change your behavior in a real and lasting way, you have to change the structure that gives rise to it.

Think of a rocking chair. It's a great structure for going back and forth in. You put energy into it by leaning back, and the chair returns that energy as it rocks forward. Very relaxing. Ahhhh!

But if you want to go to the store, a rocking chair is not a very good structure in which to do so. A bike is a better structure. While a rocking chair is designed to oscillate back and forth, a bike is designed to go somewhere and stay there.

In your life, you may find that you're trying to go somewhere in a rocking chair structure,. No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your ideas and actions are, at some point you find all your energy going in the opposite direction to what you want.

There are many examples where this occurs: dieting, getting fit, developing new habits at work, fixing a shaky relationship, etc…

Again, it's not usually you, it's the structure. Change the structure and you'll change your results. Get out of the rocking chair, and get on your bike or in your ca,r and your trip to the store will likely be much more successful.

One of the major structural reasons that prevens peole from producing real and lasting change is that they operate in the structure of PROBLEM-SOLVING.

But most changes we want to make are not really problems that need to be solved; they are challenges that arise out of some deep-seated desire. To be healthy, to be fit, to be loved, to love, to succeed at what matters. All of these desire-driven challenges are best organized with the structure of CREATING.

Creating is a superior structure to problem-solving because it can include and transcend problem solving within it. When you know how to CREATE, you can see problems as merely part of your current reality, but not the driving force behind your actions.

Your vision of desired results drives the action. You account for the problems and take action that acknowledges them, but that action stays focused on moving toward the result you care about and want to create.

To give you a sense of how this plays out, I'd like to share a recent not from a long-term client to whom I have on-going coaching role.

She is selling her home so she can buy a property on which to develop an organic food products business. It's a slow process, and she's being careful. But her actions are (usually) driven by vision, grounded in reality, and focused on resulst that matter.

Generally, she's making good progress. Soon, I imagine the pieces will come together and she will experience the joy of being on the steep part of the learning curve, where results come fast and furiously.

Here's what she had to say about overcoming a recent setback. She "felt overwhelmed" by too much to do at work and in getting her home ready to show, and had view these things as problems she "had to" solve. This approach was stressing her out.

I'd suggested she reduce her stress by taking "recovery breaks" (where she gets up. moves around, and does something different) every 90 minutes, AND make sure she views challenges from a CREATING orientation and framework.

Here's her reply:

"Hi Bruce,

"Just a quick note to follow-up from our consult this morning....

"What a valuable session - my rest of the day at the College was significantly more pleasant and productive as I consciously shifted from problem-solving mode to creating mode.... I also bought a journal diary at the College bookstore this afternoon where I will briefly denote my 'calm and confident' result breaks during the day at the College for this term...today I chose to have two such breaks.....

"When I came home for lunch today, I took 15 minutes to begin a designated area of my bedroom to increase its show-ability...it went so well that I extended the 15 minutes to 30 minutes and achieved the result I set for myself today re: the bedroom showability - I got more 'done' in this productive 30 minutes than I had in my 'stewin' mode' the last 2 weeks....

"With your help, I continue to experience the profound difference between the creation mode of life and the problem solving mode of life - and I ALWAYS like my life a whole lot more when I'm creatin'

"You do good work coach - thanks! Brenda"

CREATING is not just for artists or musicians or writers; it's for all of us.
It is a time-tested and vastly more successful way of producing real and lasting results that matter than is problem-solving. And it feels soooo much better.

For more on the skills and structure of creating, see my book SIMPLICITY AND SUCCESS: Creating the Life You Long For, or go to my website BruceElkin.com, mouse over "About Me" and click on Writer. Lots of free articles and ebooks there.
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>QUOTABLE QUOTES:
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"All the greatest and most important problems of life are fundamentally insoluble... They can never be solved, but only outgrown. This "outgrowth" proved on further investigation to require a new level of consciousness. Some higher or wider interest appeared on the patient's horizon, and through this broadening of his or her outlook the insoluble problem lost its urgency. It was not solved logically in its own terms but faded when confronted with a new and stronger life urge."
- C.J. Jung

"Real change isn't motivated by either crisis or fear. The best inspiration comes from leaders who can create compelling and positive visions of the future."
-- Alan Deutschman

"True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new."
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"We create our lives a thought at a time. And sometimes, it comes down to changing a thought such as "Why did this happen to me?" into "there is a reason for this, and my choice is to create the most positive reaction I can."
-- Dee Wallace Stone

"A man of good will with a little effort and belief in his own powers can enjoy a deep, tranquil, rich life -- provided he go his own way. He need not and should not think of making a good living, but rather of creating a good life for himself. To live one's own life is still the best way of life, always was, and always will be."
-- Henry Miller
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>If you want help shifting from a problem solving focus to a focus on creating what truly matters to you, let me know. I'm happy to send you my coaching info package. Just email me with "Coaching Info: as subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com
Cheers!
Bruce
**************************************************
> BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
**************************************************
> View the current issue of my full newsletter at
http://createwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com/
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