Pleasant Respites: Less Stress, More Joy

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"SIMPLY SUCCESS" -- October 24, 2007
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>Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work
Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach
Personal - Professional - Organizational
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold!
To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom.
**************************************************

Hi All,
More sun yesterday, and a record temperature. We're getting our summer in October. Better late than never.

On days like yesterday, even though I was busy, I got outside and into the sun, if only for 10 minutes, several times during the day.

I find that small breaks during the day refresh and relax me, and make my work more effective and efficient. I get more done with less stress and strain. And rewarded by joy and satisfaction.

It's easy to get outside for 10 minute breaks when it's sunny, but not so easy when it's pouring rain. I still go out, just not as often.

But I still take my 10-minute breaks every 60 to 90 minutes. I do something such as stretching, or a bit of cleaning, or doing my laundry. I also sometimes watch "cute" videos.

You know the kind I mean: videos of kittens or wildflowers that friends send you. Or small children interacting with both. Although it is kind of kitschy, doing so always uplifts me.

And know I find that research says it's good for me.

This from the Real Age people:
"Watching videos of animal life may help you beat stress. In a study, people who watched 10 minutes of scaly, feathered, or furry footage experienced dips in both heart rate and blood pressure.

"Got a stressful event coming up, like an unpleasant dental procedure or a tough meeting at work? Watch a few minutes of a wildlife show before heading out of the house.

"After 10 minutes, you'll not only have reduced your heart rate and blood pressure, but you'll also have created a buffer against the physical effects of your upcoming nail-biter. The sound doesn't even have to be on in order for you to reap the calming benefits of the video."

I've seen similar statements attributed to watching any nature videos. Watch a short video such as the one below and notice if your heart rate drops, if your breathing slows, if you feel more relaxed. When you can't get out for an outside hit of nature, you can get a relaxing indoor hit just from watching such a video.

Try it, and see if it doesn't make you feel a little more relaxed, and a bit more uplifted. Maybe you're whole day will go better.

Here's a video that I find gives me a pleasant respite during a stressful day. It's only a couple of minutes long.

http://www.rekindering.com/peace/attheheartofpeace.html


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> ARE YOU DOING WHAT YOU LOVE?
Would you like to create what truly matters to you in life/work?
=========================================
I work with capable people who are stuck, stalled, or struggling with complicated life/work challenges. I help them develop the SKILLS, STRUCTURE, and SUPPORT to make the complex simple, get going again on what matters, and turn visions into reality!

I can help you find what you love-and create a life that shows it!

> Less than 70 DAYS LEFT IN THIS YEAR! So now is a great time to re-assess purpose, direction, and action. I have only a couple spaces open Nov/Dec, and am interviewing for next year already.

>Want to ramp up your game before the year ends, and get a head start on 2008. I can help.

>If you would like my fr.ee 7-page info package, e-mail me with "Coaching Package" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com
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>THIS WEEK'S QUOTES:
=================
"Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn."
- John Muir

"Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Signposts for another way of living: simplicity of living, as much as possible, to retain a true awareness of life. Balance of physical, intellectual, and spiritual life. Work without pressure. Space for significance and beauty. Time for solitude and sharing. Closeness to nature to strengthen understanding and faith in the intermittency of life: life of the spirit, the creative life, and the life of human relationships."
–Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"I am drawn to the wild not because it is wild but because it is sensible, logical, ordered, stable, resilient. Wild nature is everything we're struggling to regain."
- Carl Safina
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Take a walk, watch a pleasant video, relax. You'll come back refreshed and better able to focus on what matters. If you want help, or more info, let me know. I'm happy to help. Cheers!
Bruce
**************************************************
> BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
**************************************************
> View the current issue of my full newsletter at
http://createwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com/
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Poco a Poco: Small Actions Grow Into Large Results

**************************************************
"SIMPLY SUCCESS" -- October 17, 2007
=======================================
>Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work
Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach
Personal - Professional - Organizational
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold!
To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom.
**************************************************

Hi All,
We continue to be blessed with glorious (sunny!) fall weather. It makes up for the dreary spring and summer. I revel in it.

I got the following note from a subscriber with an excellent suggestion for how to look at the rainy (or snowy or sweltering) days that are on their way.

"My grandmother was Irish and one of the things I learned from her was how to appreciate rainy days. When it was raining and I was unhappy, she would say "'tis a soft day".

"From her I learned to appreciate rainy days; to see the rain, the mists and all the shades of gray and to understand that happiness is inside me. So when my family grumbles about a rainy day, I say to them "'tis a soft day".

Ah! What a great way to look at the rain. I've tried it. It works. Thanks, Bob!

* * *

"Poco a Poco" - Or, How Little Steps Add Up to Large Results

A challenge faced by many of my clients is a feeling of being overwhelmed by the enormity of what they want to create.

This feeling often arises at the point where they have crafted a clear, compelling vision of something they want, and have grounded it in an accurate, objective, and emotional neutral assessment of their current reality relative to their vision.

Confronted by the gap between vision and reality, but not yet up to speed on our method for laying out doable action steps, they cannot (yet) see how to get from where they are to where they want to be. The gap looks too big. They feel overwhelmed.

"Not to worry," I caution. Figuring out how to cross the abyss is the next step. And although it takes a bit of work to grasp, and a lot of practice to make habitual, it's really pretty simple. I sum it up as "poco a poco."

In Spanish, "poco" means little. Poco a poco means little by little.
Large creations are almost always created step by step, or poco a poco.

In creating, we envision what we want to create in relation to where we are to set up a useful, creative tension. Then in the context of this tension and the framework set up by the relationship between vision and current reality, we lay out key action steps.

Usually, these key steps are strategic. They are large, general steps that lay down the broad brushstrokes of the action required. But they're usually too big to take on their own.

Examples from a client trying to create a more ecologically sustainable life might be "Reduce my carbon footprint," or "Grow my own organic food."

But such steps are too big to take at one time. It is like the answer to the old question, "How do you eat an elephant?" One bite at a time.

To successfully craft a desired result, we have to break large steps down into smaller sub-results, and simpler, easier-to-take actions.

So we might have the sub-result of "An organic garden in my backyard." We'd see it as a creation in its own right and craft a clear, compelling vision of the garden we want, ground it in the current state of that result, and lay out key action steps.

If actions are still too large to take in one bite, we repeat the process at another level. We telescope down from large, big picture results to medium and small results, and to action steps appropriate to each result.

We end up with a series of charts that map the terrain we have to travel at various levels of resolutions, just like ordinary maps.

To get to my house from your house, you can start with a map the World, then zero in on Canada, then BC, then Vancouver Island, then Victoria, then the core of Victoria. Eventually, you'll get to the Cook Street area and find my house at the corner of Cook and Woodstock.

Similarly, using a series of creative tension maps, we can work our way down from large (potentially overwhelming) result to small, simple actions that we can do today.

Then we take those small, doable actions. They lead to small results, which build confidence and let us stretch for the medium results, and then larger results. Step by step, poco a poco, the small and medium results accumulate into the end result that initially overwhelmed us.

Once my clients grasp this "telescoping" process, their progress in mastering their own creative process accelerates considerably.

And they, too, discover that by doing a bit of extra work up front, they can greatly simplify the process of creating what truly matters.

>For more on "telescoping" see Chapter 12: The Art and Craft of Creating in Simplicity and Success: Creating the Life You Long For. Info at http://www.bruceelkin.com/simplicity-book.html

>Also, for an intriguing example of someone bringing a large result into being, poco a poco, I recommend you check out Vanessa Farquharson's website GreenAsAThistle.com

On her site, Vanessa documents the one step a day she is taking to make her life greener and more sustainable. By themselves, most of the steps don't sound like much. But, if you read over the whole list of 200+ steps, you will, I hope, be as astounded as I was by what she has done. "

"Poco power" can be truly amazing!
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>THIS WEEK'S QUOTES:
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"We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them."
-- Abigail Adams

“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment! The more experiments you make, the better.”
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."
-- Mother Teresa

"Ideas not coupled with action never become bigger than the brain cells they occupied."
--Arnold Glasgow

"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action."
-- Benjamin Disraeli
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Do you need help getting to action? Let me know. I'm happy to help. Cheers!
Bruce
**************************************************
> BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
**************************************************

Managing the Quality of Your Experience

**************************************************
"SIMPLY SUCCESS" -- October 3, 2007
=======================================
>Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work
Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach
Personal - Professional - Organizational
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold!
To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom.
**************************************************

Hi All,
A lovely fall day in Victoria is a welcome break between early fall storms. After a dreary summer, a late spring, and a long, wet, and stormy winter, it's enough to depress a prairie-born boy who thrives in bright sunlight, under endless blue skies.

But, whatever the weather, I try to maintain a positive, creative attitude and not let lousy weather negatively affect my experience. "Experience," said Aldous Huxley, "is not what happens to us; experience is what we DO with what happens to us."

Regardless of what happens, we can take action to manage the quality of our experiences at four strategic SITES OF ACTION•--external, internal, sensory, and perceptual.

First: the EXTERNAL site of action. Although we can't do anything about weather, we can work around it.

This morning, for example, it was raining when I got up, but an hour later, bright sun shone through a break in the clouds. So I went for a brisk 20-minute walk, sucked up sunlight, and came back feeling invigorated and uplifted.

A brisk walk is also a way to take action at an INTERNAL site of action, specifically on the neurohormones that Candace Pert calls "the molecules of emotion."

When stressed or depressed, hormones such as cortico-steroids and adrenaline bind to all the receptor sites on the surface our cells. There are no sites on which "feel good" hormones such as endorphins and dopamine can lock.

But a 10-minute walk, "brisk enough to break a sweat," says Pert, not only clears receptor sites of stress hormones. The feel-good hormones it produces now have sites to bind to.

Another example of action at an internal site is sipping a cup of green tea. Do it with a friend and you also act on an external site, your environment.

Pausing for a cup of tea is a pleasant activity in itself. But green tea also contains L-Theanine, an amino acid that promotes theta waves in your brain. Theta produces relaxed, yet alert states of mind. By having a cup of green tea, you act on internal and external sites of action, and improve the quality of your experience.

A third site we can target is the SENSORY site. Through our senses we become aware of our external and internal. Through them we can mitigate the effects of difficult environments.

When it's chilly in my apartment, I can alter that experience by putting one of my soft, thick wool sweaters. Almost instantly, the quality of my experience improves.

When I ran wilderness-based programs in the Rockies, we had a useful saying: "There's no bad weather, just inappropriately dressed people."

This idea has made life much easier and better for me over the years. By dressing for weather, be it cold, rain, or heat and humidity, I significantly affect my quality of experience.

Listening to relaxing music while I write is another way I improve my experience. Relaxing my eyes by glancing out the windows at the neighboring woods is another. Stretching to relax my muscles every 60 to 90 minutes helps as well.

Finally, we can take action at the PERCEPTUAL site of action, the thinking site. This is where we have the most power to improve the quality of our experience. "Nothing is good or bad," wrote Shakespeare, "but thinking makes it so."

There are two main ways to change our thinking. Reduce negative thoughts, and increase positive ones.

My ebook EMOTIONAL MASTERY: Manage Your Moods and Create What Matters Most--With Whatever Life Gives You! is a thorough exploration of powerful ways to change the way you think. Here, I can only offer 3 suggestions.

First, as psychologist Karen Horney urged, "Cherchez les shoulds!" Seek out the shoulds. "Shoulding" on yourself, others, and the world is the root of much, maybe most, negative emotional states.

There is a big difference between saying, "I should be able to do this," and "I want to be able to do this". The first leads to negativity, and, often, to inaction, quitting. The second leads to desire and actions -- and, often, success.

So seek out your shoulds. See them for what they are, demands that reality be different than it is. Change them to desires -- preferences -- and you'll be better able to act on them, and to make changes in your experience.

Second, watch for "trigger" words in your language. Words such as "always, never, nothing, everything, all" describe reality in absolute ways and almost always distort it. Using such words in statements such as, "I'll never get this," or "You always argue," can lead to negative experience, for you and others.

Finally, the French philosopher Montaigne suggested, 
"The pleasantest things in the world are pleasant thoughts: and the great art of life is to have as many of them as possible."

More recently, researcher Barbara Fredrickson reports that to maximize the quality of your experience and to be successful in life, work, and relationship, try to ensure that the ration between positive thoughts and negative thoughts is at least 5 to 1 and no more than 10 or 12 to 1. (If you're too positive, you can easily lose touch with reality, and your experience will suffer as a result.

One of the easiest ways to add positive thoughts to your day is practice appreciation and gratitude. Notice things in your life and world that you appreciate. Notice things you are grateful for--and give thanks for them!

Changing thoughts--how you perceive your internal, external, and sensory environments--can greatly affect quality of experience.

So, you do not have to be at the mercy of what happens to you. By acting on what happens to you at the four sites of action, you can greatly improve the kind and quality of experience you enjoy.
-------
• I'm grateful to Ken Low of the Action Studies Institute in Calgary, AB for the Sites of Action schema, and other help along the way.
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> ARE YOU DOING WHAT YOU LOVE?
Would you like to create what truly matters to you in life/work?
=========================================
I work with capable people who are stuck, stalled, or struggling with complicated life/work challenges. I help them develop the SKILLS, STRUCTURE, and SUPPORT to make the complex simple, get going again on what matters, and turn visions into reality!

I can help you find what you love-and create a life that shows it!

> ONLY 100 DAYS LEFT IN THIS YEAR! So it is a great time to re-assess purpose, direction, and action. I have spaces open, and am interviewing for Oct/Nov now. Want to ramp up your game a bit before the year ends, and get a head start on 2008. I can help.

>If you would like my fr.ee 7-page info package, e-mail me with "Coaching Package" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com
---------------



>THIS WEEK'S QUOTES:
=================
"Being in the moment involves giving maximum appreciation and love to your present experience."
-- Sara Paddison

"If you are serious about your goals, drop the conditions. Go directly to your goal. Be your goal! Conditions often disguise strategies for escaping accountability. Why not just take charge and create the experience you are looking for?"
-- Eric Allenbaugh

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
-- Helen Keller

"We are here to do;
and through doing to learn;
and through learning to know;
and through knowing to experience wonder;
and through wonder to attain wisdom;
and through wisdom to find simplicity;
and through simplicity to give attention;
and through attention to see what needs to be done."
-- From the 'Pirke Avot,' A Collection of Rabbinic Sayings
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Do you need help with clarifying what you love most? Or creating a life that shows it. Let me know. I'm happy to help.
Cheers!
Bruce
**************************************************
> BRUCE ELKIN:
Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach
>Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me!
**************************************************
> View the current issue of my full newsletter at
http://createwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com/
-------------------