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>SIMPLICITY and SUCCESS:
Creating What Matters MOST in Life & Work
Vol. 4, #11, September 12, 2006 All rights reserved.
Bruce Elkin: Personal/Professional Life/Success Coach for 20 Years
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to confirmed subscribers only. List is never shared or sold!
>View current & back issues of my full newsletter on my blog at
http://createwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com/
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“Tell me, what will you do
with your one wild and precious life?”
-- Mary Oliver
Hi ,
Another beautiful sunny day on southern Vancouver Island.
I love these late summer days, knowing that soon the fall
storms will start sliding down from the north, and the wind and
rain will begin pounding down.
I love the wind and rain, too, but I really savour these sunny, warm, and
calm days of late summer and early fall.
This month, I’m departing from my usual format to reprint an
article that questions success, or, at least, questions whether
it is wise to strive for conventional sources of success.
I’ll follow it with an article of mine, about 7 questions to help you
jumpstart your own version of success, and keep it jumping.
Enjoy!
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>1. SUCCESS MAY NOT BRING HEALTH, HAPPINESS
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By PAUL RAEBURN
Tribune Media Services
With every new act, Brian distanced himself from the past: His father,
explosive and often unemployed, had pounded him with names like "moron"
and "jerk." His life beyond the family's Bronx, N.Y., apartment had
been difficult, too. One of just a few white kids in a neighborhood of
Hispanics and blacks, he felt he had to be macho and tough. It's no
wonder that Brian wanted to be a writer -- he had stories to tell.
But he also had a glaring lack of self-esteem. Still, he had fight in
him -- he plugged through college, earned a Ph.D. in literature and
secured a coveted professorship at a university. In the wife he chose
(cultured and moneyed), in the way he vacationed (New York's Hamptons
one year, the Greek islands the next), in the books he read (literary,
experimental), Brian disposed of his prior self, layer by layer. But
the core remained, so he began writing a book about life in the 'hood.
The more he took on, the more he compensated for his insecurity with
braggadocio, eventually insisting his novel (always "a
work-in-progress") would win a Pulitzer Prize.
Yet Brian was, in fact, gifted: A top New York publisher finally bought
his novel, fulfilling his lifelong dream. But for Brian, it proved too
much. "At first he just seemed depressed," says his former wife, Meg.
But depression turned into alcoholism, then obesity and finally heart
disease. When the book came out, Brian was too ill to go on tour.
Brian's downfall seems counterintuitive: Shouldn't success bring
happiness, boosting the immune system and improving overall health? Not
according to research from psychologists at Duke University in Durham,
N.C. Enormous success is healthy only for people with self-esteem to
match, it turns out. For someone struggling with a poor self-image,
like Brian, hitting a ball out of the park may tax the immune system,
helping the body to spiral into disease. Instead, the Duke scientists
say, the Brians among us stay healthier when success is more modest.
The Duke research is just one example of a new paradigm in
psychoneuroimmunology, the study of the links among emotion, immunity
and the brain. Although we've long equated positive emotion with health
and negative emotion with illness, recent studies add nuance and
subtlety to these broad ideas, proving them just partially correct and
in many cases wrong. Among the surprising findings: Stress can prime
the immune system, making us stronger.
Too much optimism may be an immunological drain. And health improves
when self-esteem and success stay in sync.
Read the rest of the article here:
http://www.dfw.com:80/mld/dfw/living/health/15479245.htm
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> 2. "COACHING for CREATING WHAT MATTERS MOST!"
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> Stuck? Stalled? Drifting? In transition? Not sure what to do next?
> Would you like to be:
* Clear about what most deeply matters to you?
* Able to create results that support what matters?
* Able to do more with less stress and striving?
* Feel on track and moving toward desired results --
in spite of problems, circumstances, and adversity?
* Feeling free, energized, and full of zest for life, work, whatever…?
> If so, my CREATING WHAT MATTERS MOST coaching approach just might help you develop the SKILLS, STRUCTURE, AND SUPPORT to find what you really love – and create a life that shows it.
"Bruce’s coaching is the best investment in myself I ever made.”
-- S. B. Simpson, Toronto, Canada
> I have space for 2 new clients in late September, and am interviewing for Oct/Nov. FOR INFO, e-mail me at Bruce@BruceElkin.com with "Coaching Package" as the subject.
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> 3. FEATURE ARTICLE:
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JUMPSTART AUTHENTIC SUCCESS—AND KEEP IT JUMPING!
7 Great Questions to Move You From Vision to Results
Tony came to see me because he was stuck. Nan because she was drifting without direction. Both had desire, talent, and tried hard.
But neither could pull all the pieces together to create success. Each made progress, then fell back; stuck again. Why?
Both focused too much on trying to figure out HOW to create success, and too little thinking about what real success was to them.
The seven questions below have helped thousands jumpstart their own version of success, and keep it jumping. They can help you, too.
1: WHAT MAKES YOU COME MOST FULLY ALIVE?
To jumpstart real success, start with WHAT? And WHY? HOW is important, but comes later, when “what” and “why” are clear.
Research on Harvard grads found those who organized their lives and work around their passions were MUCH more likely to succeed (AND become millionaires) than those who focused on making $1,000,000.
So what do YOU love? What are you passionate about? What energizes you deeply? What truly matters?
Not sure? Try this.
Think about the best things you have done, or imagine you could do. Write them down. Keep writing until you hit something that makes you shiver with emotion.
Do not worry, yet, whether it is realistic. (We look at reality in # 3.)
And do not confuse “lust” with “love.” Most people do not love money; they love what they can do or create with money. Write about that, and keep writing until you hit something that makes you feel like crying with joy.
It make take 2 minutes, or 2 hours, but it is worth it. Identifying true passions opens huge sources of power. It is a major step toward creating authentic success.
2: IF YOU CREATED IT, WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE?
Focus your passion into specific results.
Tony was passionate about skiing, but could not see how to build a “respectable” career around it. Because he had a flare for design, his father pushed him toward architecture, but that felt “too mainstream.”
When I helped Tony combine skiing with his design talent, he became a successful ski area designer. He made great money, skied 5 days a week, and felt deeply fulfilled. Even his father was impressed!
Although, as an ex-executive and wannabe writer, Nan had assumed she wanted to be #1 on Oprah’s list. But when she asked herself, “Would I take it if I got it?” her answer was “no”.
Nan didn’t want to be a “star.” She wanted to share her passion, by writing, speaking, and teaching. So she envisioned, “My recipe book about organic snacks is #1 on my local bestseller lists, and I’m getting opportunities to speak and teach about the benefits of organic snacks.”
Making vision clear, compelling, as well as authentic, most effectively translates your passion into power.
# 3: WHAT IS THE CURRENT STATE OF YOUR RESULT?
Imagine asking directions when you do not know where you are? Not easy, is it?
To turn vision into a successful result, you need to know where you are, and what you have: strengths, assets, experience, contacts, etc.
The key to knowing where you are is “describe” reality, not “judge” it.
If, like Nan, you know a lot about organic snacks, but have little experience writing, do not judge: “I cannot write a book.” Describe: “I cannot write a book, YET.”
Reality is your ally, not your enemy. Be honest about it. Truth is power! To ensure a statement is objective, ask, “Is this true? Absolutely true?” If it is not true, it is a judgment.
Nan told me, “I have no writing skills.” But, when we applied the test questions, she saw that was untrue. When prompted, she was shocked at how many writing skills she could list.
Current Reality includes problems or obstacles, and fears, doubts, and uncertainties. Acknowledge these, but do NOT dwell on them. Focus instead on what you want, what works, and what is already in place.
Focusing on what you want and what you already have energizes you. It makes you realistically optimistic, and hopeful. It also builds momentum that moves you toward your results.
# 4: WHAT ARE YOUR “NEXT STEPS”?
When you hold a powerful vision in mind with a clear description of reality, a gap appears between them. Accept that gap.
Use the energy from it to build a bridge from where you are to where you want to be, using 2 kinds of actions--strategies and tactics.
Strategies are large, often general action/results such as develop “a marketing plan,” or design “promo materials.” They include sub-results (a draft plan, rough promo materials) that, when added together, lead to the larger result.
Strategies are essential guides to action. But, you do not do strategies; you do tactics that support strategies.
# 5: HOW DO I GET TO SMALL, DOABLE ACTIONS?
Once your strategic steps are roughed out, ask, “What smaller results and actions support my larger steps?”
Tactics are small steps such as, “research market,” “clarify offerings,” and “develop a hook.” Taken together, they yield “a marketing plan.”
Starting small builds patterns of success. It gives you confidence and momentum, which leads to larger steps. Success leads to success.
And, you do not need to know all the steps, just your most promising next 2, or 3.
Taking action changes reality. New steps become obvious. Take them, note results, and ask again, “What are my next steps?”
This plan-as-you-go process honours vision AND reality. There is no failure, just feedback. Your actions teach you what to do next. You make up—create!—the path as you go.
# 6: WHAT ABOUT SETBACKS, PROBLEMS, AND ADVERSITY?
Successful people in all areas are those who deal best with adversity. They turn obstacles into opportunity. How?
• They see adversity as TEMPORARY. “This too will pass,” they say. They accept problems as part of reality, and focus on desired results.
• They take OWNERSHIP for results, regardless of what happens or who is to blame. Blame is for losers. Ownership is key to success.
• They see adversity as LIMITED to specific situations. They do not let it, or feelings about it, bleed over into other areas of life and work.
• Successful people focus on what they can CONTROL, and take appropriate action. They realize the wisdom in the old saying, “We cannot control the wind, but we can adjust our sails.”
By accepting adversity and focusing on results, successes use setbacks as “creative moments”. They re-establish the vision-reality gap, learn from their situation, and take action toward results.
# 7: HOW DO I KNOW WHEN I’M DONE?
A clear vision includes success criteria.
Our writer who wants to be on local bestseller lists and get speaking gigs will know she has succeeded when she achieves those specific outcomes.
Some people set financial criteria. Some set quality criteria. Others set both. Successes nearly always include “service” to others. For many it is just a deep sense that, “this is it--reality matches my vision.
When you are done, celebrate success, and use the energy of completion to start your next creation.
By asking these 7 questions, Tony and Nan jumpstarted their authentic success—and kept it jumping. You can do the same. The key is to ask and keep asking them.
Start small, stick with it, and remember—success leads to success.
Bruce Elkin is a writer and internationally known Personal/Professional Renewal Coach. eNewsletter at http://www.bruceelkin.com/free.html
Visit BruceElkin.com & http://createwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com
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> 4. RESOURCES I RECOMMEND:
==============================
> * THE SOUNDER SLEEP SYSTEM:
Can’t sleep? Need help relaxing and drifting off?
Get THE INSOMNIA SOLUTION by Michael Krugman. it’s a great book
on how to get the deep, restful sleep you crave. I use MP3 files in which Michael teaches soothing, restful guided exercises. For info, got to http://www.soundersleep.com/start.php?mpuid=1215
* MARKETING AND WEBSITE TOOLS:
Thinking about upgrading your website and marketing
approach? I've used these products with great results and
recommend them without reservation.
* For info or to purchase a copy of THE WEBSITE TOOLKIT,
please go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714
* THE ACTION PLAN TOOL KIT can make designing and
implementing a marketing plan easier, effective, and fun.
Go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714
* A GREAT NEWSLETTER BY AN EX-CLIENT OF MINE:
If you are interested in Health, Environment, and Negotiation,
please check out the eNewsletter HEN. Written by Julia
Menard, a Victoria-based coach, and mediation expert, HEN is
an excellent source of info. E-mail
with "sub.scribe HEN Musings" in the subject line.
* FR.EE VALUES and HAPPINESS ASSESSMENT:
Martin Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness, offers an
excellent way to support you in creating happiness in daily life.
Go to www.authentichappiness.org and do his Values-in-Action
Signature Strengths Survey. it will help you increase your authentic
happiness. I do it. It works.
* THE HAPPINESS PROJECT: http://www.happiness-project.com/
Gretchen Rubin is writing a book about tips and techniques to create happiness. This link takes you to her fascinating blog. Check it out.
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> 5. SPEECHES, SEMINARS, AND WORKSHOPS:
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I am available to do keynotes, seminars, or workshops for
your organization or team on subjects such as:
• What’s Next? Renewing & Re-Creating Life and Career
• Making it Flow: Integrating Life and Work
• Emotional Mastery: Manage Your Moods and
Create What Matters—With Whatever Life Gives You!
> Call 250-537-1177 or e-mail me to discuss your needs.
> 6. THE LAST WORD: QUOTABLE QUOTES
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"Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best."
-- Henry Van Dyke
"Work and play are the same. When you're following your energy and doing what you want all the time, the distinction between work and play dissolves."
-- Shakti Gawain
"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet
must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be."
-- Abraham Maslow
“The connection between good health and optimism is widely accepted, but studies show that optimism seasoned by reality works best.
“Researchers at Harvard University studied 1,041 patients and found those identified as hopeful (optimistic but ultimately realistic) were less likely to develop diabetes, high blood pressure, colds and flu than out-and-out optimists, who were convinced that they would thrive no matter what.”
-- Paul Raeburn
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> THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
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THANKS for forwarding my newsletter and short posts. It is working, and I appreciate your support. New subscribers are vital in keeping the newsletter going.
If you received this from a friend, and like it, please sign up for your own sub at http://www.bruceelkin.com/newsletter.html
You’ll also get some neat fr.ee gift.s!
All the best!
Bruce
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>BRUCE ELKIN: Personal/Professional Results & Renewal Coach
Author:- Simplicity & Success: Creating the Life You Long For
- Emotional Mastery: Manage Your Moods & Create What
Matters--With Whatever Life Gives You
> http://www.BruceElkin.com 250-388.7210 Skype Me!
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All material herein is copyright © Bruce Elkin, 2006.
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