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>SIMPLICITY and SUCCESS:
Creating What Matters MOST in Life & Work
Vol. 4, #10, August 16, 2006 All rights reserved.
Bruce Elkin: Personal Life Coach/Success Coach for 20 Years
http://www.BruceElkin.com
Sent to confirmed subscribers only. List is never shared or sold!
>View current & back issues on my blog at
http://createwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com/
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"To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and
the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or
an evening saunter... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be
elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring - these are
some of the rewards of the simple life."
-- John Burroughs
Hi All,
Another great day here in this urban paradise. Cloud this morning,
giving way to sun and blue sky, temp in the low 70s. Perfect!
I like this city more every day. At least my little part of it.
I am not enamored of the malls and big box stores crowding the
edges of town, or sprawl born of additive forms of urban "growth."
But, where I live, it is like a village within the city. It is a
5-minute walk to most of the things I need: markets, doctor,
dentist, pub, coffee shops, little restaurants, bookstore, a great
video store.
A 15-minute bike ride takes me to my bank, hardware store, more
restaurants, and a department store. Plus, a relaxing 15-minute
walk through a park puts me in the center of downtown Victoria.
Mostly, I stay within 10 minutes of my home. But it is nice to
know that other resources are available via walking, biking, or a
bus.
Living in a neighborhood village such as mine makes urban living
simpler, easier, and more engaging. And gives me more time to
enjoy what John Burroughs calls "the rewards of the simple life."
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IN THIS ISSUE
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1. Quick Take: Dealing With "The Diderot Effect"
2. Coaching for Creating What Matters MOST
3. Feature Article: "Diderot and Me: Staying Simple In the City"
4. Emotional Mastery--My New eBook
5. Great Resources I Recommend
6. My Speeches, Seminars, and Talks
7. The Last Word: Quotable Quotes
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1. Quick Take: Dealing with "The Diderot Effect"
=========================
Last month, I talked about my struggle with The Diderot Effect, the
lifestyle longing that causes folks to upscale their possessions
and self-image to conform to their surroundings.
Such conformist consumerism puts you on the work-and-spend
treadmill, where more is never enough, and quick pleasures drive
out deep happiness.
Worse, your life and power are given over to marketers pulling your
strings through slick magazine and TV ads. Dancing to their tunes,
you may look great, but chances are you will feel empty, anxious,
and always looking for another consumer fix.
That is not what I want, and I'm pretty sure, it is not what you
want. But many of us are tempted.
We want nice things, functional things that last, things that
express our values, and help us achieve our highest aspirations.
And, of course, some of that is fine - if we do align our choices
with our values and aspirations, if we buy in a thoughtful,
even creative way.
This month's feature article provides guidelines and suggestions
for staying simple--and successful--in the city.
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> 2. "COACHING for CREATING WHAT MATTERS MOST!"
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> Stuck? Stalled? Drifting? In transition? Not sure what is next?
> Would you like to be:
* Clear about what really matters to you?
* Able to create meaningful results in life and work?
* Able to do more with less?
* On track and moving toward what matters most
-- in spite of problems, circumstances, and adversity?
* Energized, feeling free, and full of zest for life, work...
?> If so, my Creating What Matters Most coaching approach just might
help you develop the SKILLS, STRUCTURE, AND SUPPORT
to find what you really love - and create a life that shows it.
> "Bruce's coaching is the best investment in myself I ever made."
-- S. B. Simpson, Toronto
> I have space for 3 new clients September. FOR INFO, e-mail me
with "Coaching Package" as the subject
via the Contact Me link on www.BruceElkin.com .
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> 3. FEATURE ARTICLE:
HOW TO CREATE SIMPLICITY - AND SUCCESS - IN THE CITY
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In many ways, a city is just a big shopping mall. Everywhere you
look, someone is trying to sell you something that, they tell you,
you must have to fit in with those in the know.
But you do not have to succumb to such temptation. Many folks
manage to live rich, successful - and simple - urban lives.
Here are 7 steps that can help you create the life you want -
simply, successfully, and sustainably.
STEP 1: CLARIFY WHAT MATTERS
Refine your desires. Focus on what you most deeply want.
As singer Kate Wolfe suggested, "Find what you really care
about--and live a life that shows it."
Material things often have a deeper desire attached to them. Will
a new computer really help you get more work done? Will an
expensive kitchen makeover really lead to relaxing family dinners?
Getting clear about what you truly want to create provides you with
a guiding beacon. It not only draws you toward it, it helps
illuminate the path from here to there.
It also helps you reign in those desires that do not support what
you want, and keeps you off that hedonic, work-and-spend treadmill.
STEP 2: OBJECTIVELY ASSESS YOUR CURRENT REALITY
Describe, do not judge, your reality. "My jeans are starting to
wear," is a description. "These ratty old jeans look ugly," is a
judgment.
Describing reality takes the emotional charge off it, and makes it
easier for your true desires to drive the action.
Examine your wants for competing desires. If you do not bring all
your desires into consciousness, the unconscious ones can trap you.
They are the ones marketers play on.
For example, you might desire to live simply, and you might also to
live easily and comfortably, without pain or discomfort.
If you're not aware of both desires, and which is most important,
any time you feel pain or discomfort, you are a prime candidate to
become a consumer of relief products or services.
Without thinking about it, you buy things you don't need and don't
really want, but provide you temporary relief from pain or
discomfort.
Ice cream, alcohol, junk food are prime examples. So are expensive
shoes, a pricey sweater, a new SUV, even a home makeover.
Because relief products only produce temporary relief, when that
relief wears off, we need more of them and bigger doses of them.
So, make sure you describe reality honestly and objectively, and
get clear about ALL of your desires, so you can organize them in
ways that support what you most want.
STEP 3. TOLERATE THE TENSION BETWEEN DESIRE AND REALITY.
Many cannot tolerate the gap between where they want to be and
where they currently are. The emotional tension they feel drives
them to purchase relief products and services.
Creators tolerate and use the tension between vision and reality to
guide and power actions that move them from here to there.
Rather than operate in a "yeah, but..." framework in which the "but"
negates the "yeah", creators operate in a "Yes, and..." structure.
"Yes," they say, "I'd like to create a simple urban life, AND I
don't know how to do it, yet."
Arranging desires and reality in this fashion leads to more
effective choices and action - and to real and lasting results.
STEP 4. MAKE CHOICES AND ACTIONS SUPPORT YOUR VISION, YET HONOUR
REALITY.
Holding vision and reality in creative tension - in a "yes, and..."
framework - leads creators to ask, "How then shall I proceed?
Creators start where they are, with what they have, and make up the
path as they go.
In the creative process, action is explorative and experimental.
Creators sketch, doodle, make drafts, build prototypes and test
them. They learn from their experience, create small results that
eventually accumulate into their desired result.
STEP 5. CREATE AND ADJUST; CREATE AND ADJUST . . .
You don't need to know "how" to create a simple, successful life
when you start. You can learn how from your own experience.
By holding vision and reality in creative tension, you set up a
"container for creating." By that, I mean you work in a framework
that helps you learn from each action you take.
Vision drives your actions toward your result. Objective current
reality keeps you honest. Each action can then be assessed in
terms of whether it supports your desire goal.
You will make mistakes but you will learn from them. Vision and
reality get clearer with every step you take. Following Parretto's
Law (the 80/20 Rule), you know that practice eventually leads to
increasing results, and completed creations.
STEP 6: USE ADVERSITY AS CREATIVE MOMENTS
Creating isn't always straightforward. Reality changes. Setbacks
occur. You get blown off course by your own, or other people's
competing desires.
When adversity strikes, don't blame yourself, other people, or
life.
Own what you want, in spite of adversity. Recommit to your vision,
be objective about the adversity, and ask, "What should I do next?"
Instead of scurrying out to buy relief products or services, you
reestablish creative tension and choose actions that move you in
the direction of your dreams.
Doing so tends to dissolve problems, and the accompanying anxiety.
STEP 7: BUILD MOMENTUM, FOLLOW THROUGH, AND CELEBRATE SUCCESS
We don't do dreams, we do small steps.
Knowing your next steps allows you to keep moving toward your
creation, toward the simple, yet rich, and successful life you
want.
Poco a poco. Little by little, small results created within the
container of creative tension naturally and organically accumulate
into the larger results you long for.
When they do, celebrate your success. Enjoy your result and the
process you used to bring it into being. Use the energy of
creation to start your next creation.
Creating many small results builds your capacity to create and your
confidence. Over time, you stretch for larger, more complex, and
more meaningful results.
By creating (rather than buying) what matters to you, you not only
get what you want, you also become who you most authentically are.
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Copyright©Bruce Elkin, 2006. From Bruce Elkin's Simplicity and
Success e-newsletter. http//:www.BruceElkin.com You may reprint
this article or share it with friends if you attach this copyright
notice.
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> 4. NEW E-BOOK - A GREAT RESOURCE FOR CREATING HAPPINESS!
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EMOTIONAL MASTERY: Manage Your Moods & Create What Matters
-- With Whatever Life Gives You!
> Feeling blue? Down? Anxious? Uptight? Just out of sorts?
> Would you like to:
* Manage Your Moods and Prevent Stress, Depression & Anxiety,
* Create What Matters MOST -- With Whatever Life Gives You!
* Develop Rich, Supportive, and Positive Emotions?
My new ebook Emotional Mastery might help.
> Visit http://www.bruceelkin.com/emotional-mastery.html
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> 5. OTHER RESOURCES I RECOMMEND:
==============================
> THE SOUNDER SLEEP SYSTEM:
Can't sleep? Need help relaxing and drifting off?
Get THE INSOMNIA SOLUTION by Michael Krugman. it's the best book
on how to get the deep, restful sleep you crave. It's "mini-move"
exercises also help you relax and energize during the day.
I use MP3 files in which Michael teaches mini-moves in soothing,
restful guided exercises. Also available in a CD set.
For info and to order, got to
http://www.soundersleep.com/start.php?mpuid=1215
> MARKETING AND WEBSITE TOOLS:
Thinking about upgrading your website and marketing
approach? I've used these products with great results and
recommend them without reservation.
* For info or to purchase a copy of THE WEBSITE TOOLKIT,
please go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714
* THE ACTION PLAN TOOL KIT can make designing and
implementing a marketing plan easier, effective, and fun.
Go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714
> A GREAT NEWSLETTER BY A CLIENT OF MINE:
If you are interested in Health, Environment, and Negotiation,
please check out the eNewsletter HEN. Written by Julia
Menard, a Victoria-based coach, and mediation expert, HEN is
an excellent source of info. E-mail
with "sub.scribe HEN Musings" in the subject line.
> FR.EE VALUES and HAPPINESS ASSESSMENT:
Martin Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness, offers an
excellent way to support you in creating happiness in daily life.
Go to www.authentichappiness.org and do his Values-in-Action
Signature Strengths Survey. It will help you increase your
authentic happiness. I do it. It works.
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> 6. SPEECHES, SEMINARS, AND WORKSHOPS:
======================================
I am available to do keynotes, seminars, or workshops for
your organization or team on subjects such as:
- Creating What Matters Most in Life and Work
- Beyond Balance: Integrating Life and Work
- Emotional Mastery: How to Manage Your Moods and
Create What Matters--With Whatever Life Gives You!
- Sustainable Success: From Solving Problems to Creating
A Rich Yet Simple, and Sustainable Life & World
> I also do STRATEGIC DESIGN AND PLANNING workshops for businesses
and organizations. Inspired by Robert Fritz & Peter Senge!
See: http://www.bruceelkin.com/programs/st-design.html
> Call 250-537-1177 or e-mail me to discuss your needs.
> 7. THE LAST WORD: QUOTABLE QUOTES
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"For fast acting relief; try slowing down."
-- Lily Tomlin
"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
-- Leonardo DaVinci?
"Live simply that others might simply live."
-- Elizabeth Seaton
"Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the
English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from
understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us
feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach
us the happiness of not having things."
-- Elise Boulding
"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things
they don't want, to impress people they don't like."
-- Will Rogers
"You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what
you really need."
-- Vernon Howard?---------------------
> PLEASE HELP ME GROW THIS NEWSLETTER:
==============================
Please forward my newsletter, short posts, and/or feature articles.
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Please send me your comments and feedback. Thanks!
All the best!
Bruce
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>BRUCE ELKIN: Personal/Professional Results Coach
"What will you do with this one wild and precious life?"
- Mary Oliver
> http://www.BruceElkin.com 250.388.7210 Skype Me!
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All material herein is copyright © Bruce Elkin, 2006.
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